Help Me Fight For Full Custody of My Son
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My name is Dierra Davis. I am currently 20 years old. In September 2015, I found out I was pregnant with my son, Perseus, when I was 17, during my senior year of high school. His conception was a complete and utter shock. I had plans to pursue modeling and a few degrees in Marine Biology, with no intentions of starting a family until 10+ years down the road. I never consented to conception, I was not made aware of potential conception, I was totally blindsided by this monumental creation of life. For a while, I pondered my choices before deciding to continue the pregnancy. During Percy’s pregnancy, I underwent the most intense transformation of my life. My overall awareness exponentially increased.
I truly did hope that the father of my child would undergo the same transformation. I assumed that the responsibility of a child would mature him, the same affect it had on me. When I first met him, he was dealing drugs and was soon kicked out of his mother’s house for ongoing disrespect. My hero complex was rampant and overgiving at the delicate age of 17; I saw his potential and ran with it. My family welcomed him into their home, I got him a job at my workplace at the time, and three months into our relationship, I thought having a son would be his ultimate motivator. He had been battling alcoholism and a nicotine addiction for years. The battle did not let up while I was pregnant. He lost several jobs, got into a few accidents, and persistently chose alcohol and nicotine over his future family, and his overall well-being.
On July 13th 2016, we welcomed Perseus Andrew into the world.
Percy’s unmedicated water-birth was the most empowering passage into motherhood. In hindsight, birth was the easiest part of motherhood. The newborn daze was frantic, fresh, and new. I went vegan to optimize my breastmilk, I ditched disposables and started cloth diapering, I took several newborn classes; Perseus easily became the center of my universe.
His father and I had a rocky, on-and-off relationship throughout the start of Percy’s life. He still chose going out, alcohol, nicotine, and drugs over his family. I was experiencing emotional abuse from him, yet holding on to the idea that we HAD to stay together for the sake of our child. In January 2017, we moved to Wilmington, NC with Perseus so that I could pursue my dreams of becoming a Marine Biologist. Less than a month into our new living situation, our arguments became extremely uncontrollable and irrate. I kicked him out/he moved back to Charlotte, NC. I hired a nanny, continued my semester at UNCW, and ultimately spent every ounce of my savings. At the end of the semester, I still had a lease to uphold. I invited his father back to Wilmington in hopes of being relieved of such heavy financial burdens. Well, that was a mistake. Less than a month into that predicament, our arguments were worse than ever before. After an intense domestic dispute, I packed up Percy and I’s belongings and went back home to Charlotte. A few months later, he was evicted from the premises for “illegal use of premises” (soliciting drugs). He returned to Charlotte, NC.
Throughout the next several months, a semi-steady co-parenting relationship was established. Perseus would go to his father’s mother’s house while I served tables on the weekends. While the co-parenting seemed stable, I was still experiencing ongoing verbal and emotional abuse. I typically communicated with his mother about our schedule and drop-offs. Over time the co-parenting became inconsistent. I experienced unwanted sexual advances, threats, and would even be blamed for his suicidal thoughts. The name calling, on his behalf, has been the only consistent factor in our co-parenting relationship.
Nonetheless, Perseus has been flourishing.
Perseus is now 2 and a half. He is energetic, determined, and expressive. He loves to play ball, cook, draw, read books, watch Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and is fully potty trained. Being his primary caretaker has been the most enlightening, learning, and loving experience in my existence. My family has been my ultimate support system, and Percy is head over heels for his Nana and Papaw. His father’s mother has been an absolutely angel in Percy’s life, providing him with any materialistic need and a safe home for visitations. Perseus is so very loved; not only by myself and his grandparents, but by my partner who helps raise him daily, and his uncles who help him learn and play every day.
Incorporating his biological father into his upbringing would be icing on the cake, although his father has a lot of undealt with trauma, as well as toxic addictions that need to be addressed. Considering that he smokes tobacco in his current residence, his home is not a safe environment for Perseus. He was disgnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager, and has not been engaging in treatment (according to my knowledge). He relies on nicotine, drugs, and alcohol daily to cope with life. He has not been able to keep a steady job. He does not possess a driver’s license, nor a car for safe, reliable transportation for our son. He has not consistently provided for our son, besides occasional packs of diapers and wipes (he did give me cash on approximately two occasions). His behavioral cycles (consisting of helpful engagement, then disrespect and inconsistency) are not beneficial to Perseus, and ultimately cause Perseus emotional distress.
Recently, I attempted to get a restraining order against his father due to emotional and verbal abuse, communicated threats, and showing up at my place of residence without consent. I did not have representation by an attorney at the court hearing, while his father did. Due to my lack of knowledge on court procedures, the domestic violence order was dismissed.
This evening (01/29/19), his father ordered the police to do a wellness check up on Perseus, they quickly concluded that Perseus was happy and healthy. Immediately after the police left, his father and father’s partner showed up without permission once again. My parents addressed the situation, which quickly escalated due to his father and father’s partner’s inability to communicate rationally. My parents noted that they both reeked of alcohol. The police were called, and I have again been advised to file for full custody. And so it will be.
Now I am here asking anyone who feels called to help me on the long, expensive journey to gain full custody of my son. I am currently moving out of my parents home, and expecting my future daughter to be born mid-April 2019. As a young, pregnant mother, I need the financial help to liberate myself and Perseus from the legal binds of his father. I aim to raise my children with the utmost emotional intelligence, empathy, and compassion for others; his father has none of those qualities to lead by example. With your help, I can gain full custody of my son, to ensure proper safety, happiness, and overall wellbeing of my beloved child.
If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU for your time and consideration. If you didn’t have to read to donate, THANK YOU. If you have no extra money to donate, but take the time to share my call for help, THANK YOU. I am on this Earth to spread compassion and love, THANK YOU for doing the same.
I truly did hope that the father of my child would undergo the same transformation. I assumed that the responsibility of a child would mature him, the same affect it had on me. When I first met him, he was dealing drugs and was soon kicked out of his mother’s house for ongoing disrespect. My hero complex was rampant and overgiving at the delicate age of 17; I saw his potential and ran with it. My family welcomed him into their home, I got him a job at my workplace at the time, and three months into our relationship, I thought having a son would be his ultimate motivator. He had been battling alcoholism and a nicotine addiction for years. The battle did not let up while I was pregnant. He lost several jobs, got into a few accidents, and persistently chose alcohol and nicotine over his future family, and his overall well-being.
On July 13th 2016, we welcomed Perseus Andrew into the world.
Percy’s unmedicated water-birth was the most empowering passage into motherhood. In hindsight, birth was the easiest part of motherhood. The newborn daze was frantic, fresh, and new. I went vegan to optimize my breastmilk, I ditched disposables and started cloth diapering, I took several newborn classes; Perseus easily became the center of my universe.
His father and I had a rocky, on-and-off relationship throughout the start of Percy’s life. He still chose going out, alcohol, nicotine, and drugs over his family. I was experiencing emotional abuse from him, yet holding on to the idea that we HAD to stay together for the sake of our child. In January 2017, we moved to Wilmington, NC with Perseus so that I could pursue my dreams of becoming a Marine Biologist. Less than a month into our new living situation, our arguments became extremely uncontrollable and irrate. I kicked him out/he moved back to Charlotte, NC. I hired a nanny, continued my semester at UNCW, and ultimately spent every ounce of my savings. At the end of the semester, I still had a lease to uphold. I invited his father back to Wilmington in hopes of being relieved of such heavy financial burdens. Well, that was a mistake. Less than a month into that predicament, our arguments were worse than ever before. After an intense domestic dispute, I packed up Percy and I’s belongings and went back home to Charlotte. A few months later, he was evicted from the premises for “illegal use of premises” (soliciting drugs). He returned to Charlotte, NC.
Throughout the next several months, a semi-steady co-parenting relationship was established. Perseus would go to his father’s mother’s house while I served tables on the weekends. While the co-parenting seemed stable, I was still experiencing ongoing verbal and emotional abuse. I typically communicated with his mother about our schedule and drop-offs. Over time the co-parenting became inconsistent. I experienced unwanted sexual advances, threats, and would even be blamed for his suicidal thoughts. The name calling, on his behalf, has been the only consistent factor in our co-parenting relationship.
Nonetheless, Perseus has been flourishing.
Perseus is now 2 and a half. He is energetic, determined, and expressive. He loves to play ball, cook, draw, read books, watch Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, and is fully potty trained. Being his primary caretaker has been the most enlightening, learning, and loving experience in my existence. My family has been my ultimate support system, and Percy is head over heels for his Nana and Papaw. His father’s mother has been an absolutely angel in Percy’s life, providing him with any materialistic need and a safe home for visitations. Perseus is so very loved; not only by myself and his grandparents, but by my partner who helps raise him daily, and his uncles who help him learn and play every day.
Incorporating his biological father into his upbringing would be icing on the cake, although his father has a lot of undealt with trauma, as well as toxic addictions that need to be addressed. Considering that he smokes tobacco in his current residence, his home is not a safe environment for Perseus. He was disgnosed with bipolar disorder as a teenager, and has not been engaging in treatment (according to my knowledge). He relies on nicotine, drugs, and alcohol daily to cope with life. He has not been able to keep a steady job. He does not possess a driver’s license, nor a car for safe, reliable transportation for our son. He has not consistently provided for our son, besides occasional packs of diapers and wipes (he did give me cash on approximately two occasions). His behavioral cycles (consisting of helpful engagement, then disrespect and inconsistency) are not beneficial to Perseus, and ultimately cause Perseus emotional distress.
Recently, I attempted to get a restraining order against his father due to emotional and verbal abuse, communicated threats, and showing up at my place of residence without consent. I did not have representation by an attorney at the court hearing, while his father did. Due to my lack of knowledge on court procedures, the domestic violence order was dismissed.
This evening (01/29/19), his father ordered the police to do a wellness check up on Perseus, they quickly concluded that Perseus was happy and healthy. Immediately after the police left, his father and father’s partner showed up without permission once again. My parents addressed the situation, which quickly escalated due to his father and father’s partner’s inability to communicate rationally. My parents noted that they both reeked of alcohol. The police were called, and I have again been advised to file for full custody. And so it will be.
Now I am here asking anyone who feels called to help me on the long, expensive journey to gain full custody of my son. I am currently moving out of my parents home, and expecting my future daughter to be born mid-April 2019. As a young, pregnant mother, I need the financial help to liberate myself and Perseus from the legal binds of his father. I aim to raise my children with the utmost emotional intelligence, empathy, and compassion for others; his father has none of those qualities to lead by example. With your help, I can gain full custody of my son, to ensure proper safety, happiness, and overall wellbeing of my beloved child.
If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU for your time and consideration. If you didn’t have to read to donate, THANK YOU. If you have no extra money to donate, but take the time to share my call for help, THANK YOU. I am on this Earth to spread compassion and love, THANK YOU for doing the same.
Organizer
Dierra Jordan Davis
Organizer
Charlotte, NC