At 35 years old, I have been blessed to carry life in my womb 5 times. I have 3 beautiful children that I have birthed into this world. I am currently pregnant with baby number 4 while living abroad with my hubby and 3 kids.

 

All 3 of my children were born in hospitals and while I am grateful for the support and their healthy delivery, I have never given birth in the sacred way I have always desired. As a result, I have had my share of birth trauma…not being seen or responded to in a way that made me feel comforted and completely cared for. It’s hard to focus on the beauty and rite of passage of birth while properly advocating for you and baby. Many things I wanted were ignored or looked down on. I was met with tactics to intimidate me. My pain was ignored and I was made to feel unworthy of the attention that I deserved. The practices and policies of the hospital don’t support the sacred and peaceful birth that I long to have. The strong push for unnecessary synthetic medicine and c-sections is only a portion of the elements that causes fear to form around a naturally beautiful process. For example, the environment and introduction of medical procedures as simple as an IV dilutes the mother’s natural oxytocin (the love hormone that brings calm and connection and natural pain-relieving properties) causing labor to slow down and prompting the use of pitocin a “synthetic form of oxytocin” that doesn’t have the same natural qualities because it isn’t produced inside the brain. Since COVID, it has gotten worse and being in a foreign country with a language barrier doesn’t give me any more confidence in a hospital birth, especially as a Black Woman. Even if everything were to go well, it still deprives me of an inherent desire to bring a change into my bloodline. I desire to give birth at home in comfort and peace surrounded by people that I know love me and care for me. I desire to use the power and strength that has allowed me to carry and grow this life inside of me for this entire pregnancy to birth my baby in an environment of love and harmony. I desire to create a shift in my household starting with how we bring our next baby into the world, as a family witnessing life pass through its matriarch. All witnessing power and God’s love. All taking part in the evolution of our family in a hands on and spiritual journey of healing and restoration. This is what matters to me. This is the first birthday gift I want to give our unborn baby to welcome them into our loving family. A sacred birth.

 

Also, I plan for this experience to be documented and shared artistically to pass along the healing and inspiration that may be necessary for another family, for another mother to heal and thrive.