Hello. My name is Kathi. My husband is Terry. He is a stroke patient with vascular dementia and I am his sole family caregiver and have been for more than 5 years. We never fully recovered from the “economic downturn” in 2008 and Terry’s health was already declining. He was laid off from a longtime job and we ended up making 3 interstate moves over the next 3 years as he was hired by several companies in his field. His health problems caused job losses in each case and forced us to move on. We lost money on 2 homes and our savings dwindled day by day. We joined a new church in each new place and did our best to maintain a positive outlook, trusting that God had our back. I am an interfaith minister and focused on weddings during this time. About the time my wedding ministry got a toehold in a new area, Terry was let go and then hired for a new job in another state, and I had to give the weddings I had booked to other local ministers.

Each time we moved, Terry went ahead to go to work and find a home, and I stayed behind to pack our things and arrange the move. I recall October of 2011 when Terry had left for Raleigh. We had a small burglary and my jewelry box was stolen. The things in it really only had sentimental value, things from Terry, my mother, and grandmother. They meant a lot to me and my heart was broken at the loss. We had adopted a senior cat named Raleigh, and he died. Then our sweet dog Sadie had to be euthanized. I was so lonely, sad, and scared I cried for days at a time and didn’t even know which thing I was crying over.

We finally landed in Raleigh, NC, exhausted and frightened. Our faith was stretched pretty thin by this point. We prayed and cried together day after day in a small rented apartment. We could no longer afford a home of our own. Terry got a job outside his industry and I started booking weddings. Little by little, things got better and, miracle of miracles, a couple of years later we were able to get a “zero down” loan and buy a home. Life was pretty good for the next few years with occasional interruptions for hospital stays. Then on New Year’s Day of 2018, Terry had a major heart attack and a second one 10 days later. He had several mini-strokes and lost the use of his left hand. His cognitive function was also starting to decline. That’s when I became the “managing partner” in our marriage. I had to hire a handyman to do a small repair on our home. Terry was very upset and angry with me. He could no longer do these things because of his hand and macular degeneration, but he desperately wanted to do the things he had always been so great at doing.

Now Terry is like a toddler and our relationship is very different. We have social security and a tiny pension, and managing has been difficult and we have accumulated some debt. Late last year, our property taxes went up a huge amount and I have fallen behind in our bills. I am still doing weddings but they started falling off during Covid and have never recovered. I work part-time as a cashier and pet sit.

I’ll be 76 this year and I sometimes get very tired, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually tired. I work hard to stay in a positive frame of mind. I trust that God has my back. I was hopeful this morning when the idea of asking for help through GoFundMe came to me. I pray every day, not only for Terry and myself but for those I know and those I love, for our nation and for the world. I hope and pray for enough help to get our feet back under us so I feel secure that our home is safe and I will be able to care for Terry for as long as necessary. I thank anyone who is moved to help us with all my heart.