Help Hailey Return Home
Donation protected
We're tired of waiting. This fundraiser is to help us secure an attorney asap, and then locate our missing daughter and bring her back home.
In the onset of the pandemic last year, our 11-year old daughter's behavior was beginning to escalate to the point of her safety being jeopardized. As a foreword, Hailey has multiple emotional and behavioral diagnoses. We wondered if the sudden end to Hailey's entire routine (her weekly therapy sessions, school/ class/friends and the stay at home orders) played a part in her now obvious and heightened level of anxiety and agitation, but after an especially scary incident last April, I finally admitted & accepted that it was nearly impossible for one person to care for and keep a close eye on Hailey so I requested help. I initiated the help of Children's Services & after assessing the situation & Hailey's history, they agreed that our family needed assistance and they could make things happen much faster so Hailey & our family were relieved & excited ready to see "things happen."
After putting together a team that consisted of myself (Hailey's mother), her father, a case worker from Family Services, and a Deputy Juvenile Officer, along with the therapists and staff from an amazing residential facility that Hailey was now in, we then devised a long-term plan.
That plan was "A"- to give Hailey the very best of every treatment, resource and service available, then-
"B"- get her back home safe, happy, and healthy.
For the next year, the team worked exceedingly well together on all fronts: communicating, problem-solving, and brainstorming ideas to meet Hailey's needs. In conjunction with this, we also participated in weekly family therapy sessions, attended all meetings and visited Hailey every chance we were allowed to. It wasn't easy for Hailey at first. She resisted and was very defiant but eventually thru the support and patience of everyone around her, she began to see and feel the difference the therapies and treatments were making in her behavior as well as socially, emotionally, and academically.
The following April, one year later, she had progressed enough to be discharged and sent home.
A few months before Hailey would be discharged, we & the team discussed an option called a "step-down" option that is sometimes used after discharge. For some, it helps to make the transition home go smoother. We were told that it usually takes place in a less restrictive facility. We agreed it might be a good idea. But "one" team member mentioned that the step down is can also be done in a foster home. We opposed that idea immediately, I explained several reasons why and they didn't disagree with me. We were never supportive of using a foster home & I asked that, that be noted on more than one occasion. Hailey's dad & I verbally expressed, more than once, that we were not in agreement, supportive or "OK" of a foster home being used as a "step down" option due to other valid concerns that had not yet, been addressed.
Then I start getting bits of info-
*Foster home*
*Certified for elevated needs*
*She'll be fine*
In the onset of the pandemic last year, our 11-year old daughter's behavior was beginning to escalate to the point of her safety being jeopardized. As a foreword, Hailey has multiple emotional and behavioral diagnoses. We wondered if the sudden end to Hailey's entire routine (her weekly therapy sessions, school/ class/friends and the stay at home orders) played a part in her now obvious and heightened level of anxiety and agitation, but after an especially scary incident last April, I finally admitted & accepted that it was nearly impossible for one person to care for and keep a close eye on Hailey so I requested help. I initiated the help of Children's Services & after assessing the situation & Hailey's history, they agreed that our family needed assistance and they could make things happen much faster so Hailey & our family were relieved & excited ready to see "things happen."
After putting together a team that consisted of myself (Hailey's mother), her father, a case worker from Family Services, and a Deputy Juvenile Officer, along with the therapists and staff from an amazing residential facility that Hailey was now in, we then devised a long-term plan.
That plan was "A"- to give Hailey the very best of every treatment, resource and service available, then-
"B"- get her back home safe, happy, and healthy.
For the next year, the team worked exceedingly well together on all fronts: communicating, problem-solving, and brainstorming ideas to meet Hailey's needs. In conjunction with this, we also participated in weekly family therapy sessions, attended all meetings and visited Hailey every chance we were allowed to. It wasn't easy for Hailey at first. She resisted and was very defiant but eventually thru the support and patience of everyone around her, she began to see and feel the difference the therapies and treatments were making in her behavior as well as socially, emotionally, and academically.
The following April, one year later, she had progressed enough to be discharged and sent home.
A few months before Hailey would be discharged, we & the team discussed an option called a "step-down" option that is sometimes used after discharge. For some, it helps to make the transition home go smoother. We were told that it usually takes place in a less restrictive facility. We agreed it might be a good idea. But "one" team member mentioned that the step down is can also be done in a foster home. We opposed that idea immediately, I explained several reasons why and they didn't disagree with me. We were never supportive of using a foster home & I asked that, that be noted on more than one occasion. Hailey's dad & I verbally expressed, more than once, that we were not in agreement, supportive or "OK" of a foster home being used as a "step down" option due to other valid concerns that had not yet, been addressed.
Then I start getting bits of info-
*Foster home*
*Certified for elevated needs*
*She'll be fine*
* It will be much closer to our home
But we were never given the exact address of where they had already decided Hailey was going, until she was already there (which was understandable once we discovered the negative atmosphere & reputation the area had earned)
When I'd asked the question, "What's the address, I want to Google the area and crime data," I got very little or no answers. Several times I got an automated "So & so is out of the office, vm response.
Any attempts by me, to console Hailey during her limited phone calls were purposefully and incorrectly contradicted by the FM. She would allow Hailey one phone call a day from a landline phone
Initially we were going to wait for the police, but we began to feel more unsafe as more people had begun to exit their homes and were watching us so feeling unsafe, we took our daughter, realized that I was still on line with the 911 dispatcher, told him everything, he said to call our caseworker, then we drove back to our own town and shortly thereafter, the St. Louis County police showed up and said we would be arrested if we didn't let them take our daughter. We told them everything, showed them proof but apparently whatever report they were given, portrayed US, as the dangerous ones. Before she left, I told her to tell the truth, answer everything they ask and then they'll sort this mess out and she'd be home in just a day or two. They took Hailey at around 9:30 pm on May 19th, and we have not seen or heard from her or anyone else since.
Thank you all
When I'd asked the question, "What's the address, I want to Google the area and crime data," I got very little or no answers. Several times I got an automated "So & so is out of the office, vm response.
Next thing we know, our daughter was on "West Florissant Ave" in a single parent foster-home located in an area of St. Louis known for its egregiously high, violent crime rate, with multiple shootings happening all around the (very) near by area. Abandoned, boarded up buildings surrounded her location. Online crime rate maps showed our daughters location to be in the most dangerous parts of the city. There was a multitude of reasons and violations every single day that should have led to a phone call minimum, but the first and foremost question is-
#1-Why was she even taken there in the first place? Surely there had to have been a better SAFER option. And even IF...that really WAS the CWs only option, then the cw should have passed on it and just brought her home, because everyone knows that specific area is a war zone. How in the world did that woman, who is a mother herself, drive my 12 year old daughter to a place like that and just leave her there alone? And then not a single person called her after that to ask her how she was doing.
From the very first day of her relocation, the foster mother (FM)
seemed to be constantly trying to upset Hailey by confusing her, scaring her, isolating her. Every day I'd be trying to comfort her and debunk the lies the fm was telling her and hoping I could succeed before our call was brought to an abrupt halt. The very first night she refused to speak with me on the phone when I just asked to introduce myself. The following day Hailey found a small round mint-green, scored pill, which after being researched, shares the same description with other dangerous and illicit narcotics, Oxycodone, heroin & Fentanyl. The case worker said it could have been a vitamin. Then we found out that there was a pit bull locked in the basement constantly barking, which wasn't allowed to be out at the same time as Hailey because "he's not good with kids." Hailey said the FM would barricade her in her room by blocking the door with baby gates and other items when the dog was freed from the basement & turned loose upstairs. On one occasion Hailey left her room without knowing the dog was out and he started after her but fm grabbed him. The case worker said the dog was a "service dog." The fm never said a word about it being a service dog, but she is the one who told Hailey that she & the dog could not be out at the same time.
#1-Why was she even taken there in the first place? Surely there had to have been a better SAFER option. And even IF...that really WAS the CWs only option, then the cw should have passed on it and just brought her home, because everyone knows that specific area is a war zone. How in the world did that woman, who is a mother herself, drive my 12 year old daughter to a place like that and just leave her there alone? And then not a single person called her after that to ask her how she was doing.
From the very first day of her relocation, the foster mother (FM)
seemed to be constantly trying to upset Hailey by confusing her, scaring her, isolating her. Every day I'd be trying to comfort her and debunk the lies the fm was telling her and hoping I could succeed before our call was brought to an abrupt halt. The very first night she refused to speak with me on the phone when I just asked to introduce myself. The following day Hailey found a small round mint-green, scored pill, which after being researched, shares the same description with other dangerous and illicit narcotics, Oxycodone, heroin & Fentanyl. The case worker said it could have been a vitamin. Then we found out that there was a pit bull locked in the basement constantly barking, which wasn't allowed to be out at the same time as Hailey because "he's not good with kids." Hailey said the FM would barricade her in her room by blocking the door with baby gates and other items when the dog was freed from the basement & turned loose upstairs. On one occasion Hailey left her room without knowing the dog was out and he started after her but fm grabbed him. The case worker said the dog was a "service dog." The fm never said a word about it being a service dog, but she is the one who told Hailey that she & the dog could not be out at the same time.
Additionally, Hailey was forced to stay in her room all day, not being allowed out while her FM had visitors, which was frequent. Hailey also ate her meals alone in her room, and described the house as dirty with "stuff piled everywhere." She said nobody ate at the table because it was buried under a pile of stuff. She said she hated using the bathroom because it was so "gross."
The only activity Hailey could entertain herself with was watching TV.
The woman literally ignored Hailey even when Hailey was trying to talk to her or when she had a question like how to do something or where something was. She would act like Hailey wasn't in the room. We personally heard this go on over the phone. I thought it had to be hearing loss or something and tried to convince Hailey to consider the same. I mean, who sits in a chair texting, and ignores a kid standing next to them, already nervous, asking for a towel or something to drink once, twice, three times until they finally just wander off...right?
But it wasn't hearing loss because she sure heard me(over the phone) tell Hailey once again that she was NOT going to be starting school there (because the fm kept telling her she was even tho she knew exactly how long she would be there) and when Hailey was trying to explain this to the fm, the fm told Hailey and I heard it-
"Your mom don't know that!"
"Your mom don't know anything!"
And during one call the fm took the phone away from Hailey, told me it was "HER HOUSE! HER RULES! AND SHE AINT EXPLAINING THAT TO ANYBODY!" then she hung up the phone cutting short the "one call a day" that Hailey was allowed to make.
The only activity Hailey could entertain herself with was watching TV.
The woman literally ignored Hailey even when Hailey was trying to talk to her or when she had a question like how to do something or where something was. She would act like Hailey wasn't in the room. We personally heard this go on over the phone. I thought it had to be hearing loss or something and tried to convince Hailey to consider the same. I mean, who sits in a chair texting, and ignores a kid standing next to them, already nervous, asking for a towel or something to drink once, twice, three times until they finally just wander off...right?
But it wasn't hearing loss because she sure heard me(over the phone) tell Hailey once again that she was NOT going to be starting school there (because the fm kept telling her she was even tho she knew exactly how long she would be there) and when Hailey was trying to explain this to the fm, the fm told Hailey and I heard it-
"Your mom don't know that!"
"Your mom don't know anything!"
And during one call the fm took the phone away from Hailey, told me it was "HER HOUSE! HER RULES! AND SHE AINT EXPLAINING THAT TO ANYBODY!" then she hung up the phone cutting short the "one call a day" that Hailey was allowed to make.
Any attempts by me, to console Hailey during her limited phone calls were purposefully and incorrectly contradicted by the FM. She would allow Hailey one phone call a day from a landline phone
but if we wanted to call HER, we were to call the fm on a cellphone, then she'd tell Hailey to call us from the landline. That sounded strange but we were ok with the idea as long as we had a way to call Hailey. Except we never received a cell number so we could never call her. The one & only time she finally offered it, I was driving. I apologized to Hailey but told her I'd have to get it on the next call, but when I asked for it on the next call she told Hailey, to tell me, to get it from Hailey's dad. Then he told me that she had not given to him either.
We were told by our caseworker, that it would be given to us by the fm. If we called the number that Hailey called from, it would just ring, then go to a fax machine. Nobody ever answered. Hailey would tell us later that she wasn't allowed to answer the phone (even tho that phone was apparently just for the foster kids and Hailey was the only one in the house.) Hailey said she heard that phone ringing many times and wondered if it was us. It WAS us. Her mom & dad. But she wasn't allowed to pick up the phone and talk to us.
When Hailey called her father one night, for what the FM apparently deemed "too long" she told Hailey she would now be allowed only 5, 10 minute calls per week. Why did it matter how long she talked to her dad? She was lonely and unhappy. The fm should have been encouraging calls, not monitoring & restricting them.
Hailey was also supposed to receive aftercare services from the previous facility she had stayed at, but the aftercare worker told me the FM refused to allow the services to take place in her house. I never got a chance to ask Hailey if that changed.
Hailey takes several prescription medications, but the FM would not administer the meds to her even tho Hailey reminded her daily. That alone should have warranted an immediate removal of Hailey and an investigation as to where her meds were going. But instead, the case worker told me that "they can't monitor every foster family/home!"
These are just a few violations that we reported to Hailey's case worker and supervisor, multiple times daily, through email, text, and voice mail.
I was told-
I was told-
#1- "The dog was a service dog." I highly doubt that.
#2- "the pill was could have been a vitamin." Sure. And it could have been a Skittle. Or an M&M. Or a lethal dose of Fentanyl. All of our attempts to communicate with anyone were ignored and/or brushed off. Hailey's own GAL hasn't seen or talked to her in months. She's called him many times but he never returns her calls. On the fourth day, Hailey mentioned that she wanted to run away, a statement she has a history of following up on. We continued passing information to the caseworker even asking why she couldn't just come home like originally planned but by now, the cw had completely stopped responding to us altogether. We texted and left vm's that we intended to go to where Hailey was staying to ensure she was safe. After Hailey's dad got off work, together we drove there, and I texted & called the caseworker the entire time, telling her what we were doing and that we weren't going to leave until someone showed up and took Hailey out of that house, we weren't leaving without her. Upon arrival we met with the FM, who was irate by our presence. She had no interest in communicating with us so when she stepped back to close the door, I quickly yelled Hailey's name. We heard Hailey scream back to us from somewhere in the house, but the fm quickly slammed the door in my face and deadbolted it. We heard Hailey scream begging us not to leave her. There were lots of loud thumping noises and commotion from inside. Hailey would later say that after hearing us call for her she was running to the front door but was blocked by the woman who then started chasing her around the house, trying to grab her(shirt). Hailey said she told the woman several times she just wanted to see us, but the fm told her, "You're not getting to your parents!" I dialed 911 but before I could speak to them, we heard Hailey scream again from the back of the house, her dad and I started to head that way but Hailey had already escaped from a different door & was running towards us, then she fell & hurt her leg.
#2- "the pill was could have been a vitamin." Sure. And it could have been a Skittle. Or an M&M. Or a lethal dose of Fentanyl. All of our attempts to communicate with anyone were ignored and/or brushed off. Hailey's own GAL hasn't seen or talked to her in months. She's called him many times but he never returns her calls. On the fourth day, Hailey mentioned that she wanted to run away, a statement she has a history of following up on. We continued passing information to the caseworker even asking why she couldn't just come home like originally planned but by now, the cw had completely stopped responding to us altogether. We texted and left vm's that we intended to go to where Hailey was staying to ensure she was safe. After Hailey's dad got off work, together we drove there, and I texted & called the caseworker the entire time, telling her what we were doing and that we weren't going to leave until someone showed up and took Hailey out of that house, we weren't leaving without her. Upon arrival we met with the FM, who was irate by our presence. She had no interest in communicating with us so when she stepped back to close the door, I quickly yelled Hailey's name. We heard Hailey scream back to us from somewhere in the house, but the fm quickly slammed the door in my face and deadbolted it. We heard Hailey scream begging us not to leave her. There were lots of loud thumping noises and commotion from inside. Hailey would later say that after hearing us call for her she was running to the front door but was blocked by the woman who then started chasing her around the house, trying to grab her(shirt). Hailey said she told the woman several times she just wanted to see us, but the fm told her, "You're not getting to your parents!" I dialed 911 but before I could speak to them, we heard Hailey scream again from the back of the house, her dad and I started to head that way but Hailey had already escaped from a different door & was running towards us, then she fell & hurt her leg.
Initially we were going to wait for the police, but we began to feel more unsafe as more people had begun to exit their homes and were watching us so feeling unsafe, we took our daughter, realized that I was still on line with the 911 dispatcher, told him everything, he said to call our caseworker, then we drove back to our own town and shortly thereafter, the St. Louis County police showed up and said we would be arrested if we didn't let them take our daughter. We told them everything, showed them proof but apparently whatever report they were given, portrayed US, as the dangerous ones. Before she left, I told her to tell the truth, answer everything they ask and then they'll sort this mess out and she'd be home in just a day or two. They took Hailey at around 9:30 pm on May 19th, and we have not seen or heard from her or anyone else since.
We have not been arrested. We have not been charged with any crimes. We have not received any court order. We have not been given a court date. We have not been contacted by anyone giving us any information on our daughter, her well being or whereabouts. I have requested contact with Hailey. I have requested a well check on her. No response from anyone, yet the state has our daughter and they have hidden her. We don't know what their plan is for Hailey. Every donation and/or "share" will bring us one step closer to finding our girl, then bringing her back home like she was told from the beginning.
Thank you all
Organizer
Terri Spradley
Organizer
Valley Park, MO