Josh and I were in the middle of planning our wedding when during a routine follow up our oncologist told us we needed to have a hard conversation. His cancer was spreading at a rapid rate, and there were no other treatment options available to help stop it, let alone slow it down.
It was the end of August and she knew our wedding was scheduled for May. She told us we needed to move our wedding date up. She said she didn’t have a crystal ball but she knew with the way the cancer was spreading Josh wasn’t going to make it to our wedding.
This news hit me like a freight train. My person, my best friend, the love of my life... he was going to die and our love story was just getting started. I had never cried during an appointment until that day. Josh held me in his arms as I cried and told me everything was going to be ok.
We sat across from each other in the waiting room and attempted to digest our devastating new reality. While I was trying to figure out when our new wedding date should be, Josh was thinking about much more important things.
The first words that came out of his mouth were “what about our babies?” He looked at me with his famous twinkle eyed smile and asked me “how amazing would it be to have a little piece of me live on forever?! You would be the BEST mom!”
I knew how intentional Josh was in having this conversation with me. It was the one and only time he talked about possibly not being here one day. I didn’t know when or how, but after he shared this wish, I knew that one day I would be trying for a baby Powell.
Josh had froze his sperm prior to starting his cancer treatments. We both knew that we wanted a family together and we were SO excited to start trying once we were married. Unfortunately, Josh passed away just 31 days after our wedding.
This Sunday, 12/13, will be 4 years since Josh went to heaven. There’s not a day that has gone by that I haven’t thought about having our baby. This summer I finally made the decision that I was ready. After months of research, 3 different doctors, 2 different clinics, many tears, and set backs, I finally found the perfect doctor at the most incredible clinic to go through this life changing process with.
It was determined that IVF would be the best option to conceive baby Powell under these unique circumstances. As most of you know, IVF is not only emotionally draining, but it is also insanely expensive! My treatment along with the genetic testing that needs to be done to insure we have the healthiest baby possible is going to cost between $40K-$50K out of pocket.
After looking into financial assistance options and applying for multiple grants with no success I have decided that it’s time to ask for help. I have spent many nights in tears praying for guidance and the same phrase kept coming to mind “it takes a village”. If I’m going to have this baby, I’m going to have to get used to asking for help, so why not start now?
I have been blessed with the most amazing, loving, and supportive village and I think it’s only fair to give you the opportunity to be part of this journey with me. I also hope that sharing my journey will help someone else along the way. It’s not easy to share this level of vulnerability but I know in my heart it’s the right thing to do. Josh wouldn’t want me to go through this process alone, especially since he can’t be here.
I know we are all going through tough times right now, so if you’re unable to help support financially, prayers and good vibes are still appreciated. Sharing this page and our story will also help tremendously!
Thank you to all of you who continue to love and support me through all of life’s crazy twists and turns. I don’t know how I could’ve survived these last 4 years without all of you.
With your help, I know we will be able to turn Josh’s dream of having a little piece of him live on forever into a reality. And let’s be honest, it’s always been my dream too. It just took me 4 years to make sure it was the right dream to fulfill without him being here.
Thank you for being a part of our journey and, as always...
Love fiercely, because this all ends.
- Paige Froelich
- Kinsey Livingston
- Liz Sloat
- Debra Drysdale
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