My husband, Frank Dono, and other members of our family have spent the last six weeks of our life working round the clock – and mostly long-distance -- to stabilize the lives of three family members in Ohio. The situation is quite harrowing and emotionally delicate – and involves domestic abuse, significant emotional and psychological trauma, medical/dental neglect, homelessness, and financial insecurity – and so we are not sharing any personally identifying information nor any photos to protect their identities.
The past two months have been overwhelming, exhausting and so emotional for our entire family, and the scope of need is significant and swiftly exceeded our family’s savings and personal resources. That is why we are sending out this GoFundMe Appeal: our family has depleted our own personal emergency reserves to accomplish this goal, and $10,000 has been spent in this effort. We understand this will be an act of faith for you to consider this GoFundMe appeal without a lot of detail, and if you want to know more, please contact me or Frank directly.
WHAT HAPPENED
As of November 6, 2023, all three family members are physically safe from harm and in safe/secure housing. We are grateful beyond measure for this positive outcome. Once they were safe, that’s when the wide-ranging scope of the significant and immediate food, clothing, healthcare and financial needs were revealed. While medical professionals, social workers, school officials and housing experts are now very actively engaged in this case, public assistance has been very, very slow in coming.
That is why Frank and I – and other family members – intervened to spend our own funds and time to assist with what the experts call “acute crisis stabilization.” Our entire extended family has invested our time, our talents, and our financial resources for six weeks to get to a good outcome, and while those investments are paying off, it has left us all depleted financially and emotionally.
It is very, very difficult to get social services and United Way resources flowing, and six weeks is a blink of an eye for applying for social service benefits. We have literally spent entire days of our lives for the past six weeks, trying to work through red tape, paperwork and wait times for aid for these three, only to be told that the wait lists are months, if not years, for housing, transportation, medical/dental and financial assistance.
We are extremely grateful to Women Helping Women, the YMCA of Southwestern Ohio in two different counties and the National Domestic Abuse Hotline for their short-term safe housing intervention and Job & Family Services for assistance with Medicaid and SNAP food benefits. Unfortunately, those interventions covered only 1/10th of the urgent, immediate needs in the past six weeks, and so Leanna & I and other family members opened our wallets to do what had to be done.
WHAT WE’VE SPENT TO STABILIZE THE SITUATION: $10,000
Frank and I have personally spent $5,000 and depleted our own emergency funds to cover housing, transportation, phone/Internet service, food and medical supplies not covered by insurance. Other family members have also spent $5,000 -- to cover household bills during an unpaid leave of absence from work (lost wages of $3,600 in six weeks) and to pay for $1,400 in fuel costs to transport the minor child 4-6 hours a daily.
Altogether, it adds up to $10,000 spent. We are unbelievably grateful that our collective efforts have paid off: social services and short-term disability funds are starting to come in as of 12/1, and the adult has been given a shelter bed in a protective facility as of 12/15/2023. Prayers were answered – the acute crisis has been stabilized – and the difficult work of recovery and healing will continue for months and years. The beneficiaries of this direct aid will not have future income sufficient to repay any of us.
Therefore, this GoFundMe appeal is very targeted: we are asking for direct financial help of $10,000 to cover what we have collectively invested/spent. It is humbling that we find ourselves in this situation, and it is never easy to ask for help, nor to receive it. I have written GoFundMe campaigns for others, but never dreamed that we would find ourselves in this situation. We did what needed to be done, but unfortunately, the needs in the past six weeks have far exceeded our family resources and created a financial hardship for all of us that has left us vulnerable to our own emergency needs.
We are therefore asking for help, and we graciously accept any/all financial, emotional and spiritual support. Donations of any amount -- $5, $10, $20, $35, $50 or more – will make an enormous impact and bring immediate relief for our family.
We are grateful for the unconditional kindness of friends, extended family and strangers to help in this difficult and delicate situation. We fully recognize this is a difficult time of year to ask for help – and the needs of so many are so great – but for us, the needs are real and significant.
We are also asking for your prayers and emotional support; this remains a traumatic and challenging situation, that is quite difficult to speak openly about. We welcome your prayers for the safety of all involved, for healing of mind, body and spirit, for relationship repair and reconciliation and for grace.
SPECIFICS OF THE GO FUND ME APPEAL: we have spent $10,000 to cover:
$5,000 TRANSPORTATION and LOST WAGES/COVER HOUSEHOLD BILLS for 6 WEEKS
The minor child is an outstanding student, and they are enrolled in a prestigious dual degree program (concurrent high school and college degrees.) School officials and the entire family remain deeply committed to the student remaining in this program. The school district has identified a transportation resource starting January 1, 2024. Family members have spent $1,400 on fuel costs for multiple trips to and from school and sports activities each day for six weeks. They’ve helped pay bills for the family member who took the unpaid leave of absence: household bills, utilities, housing and food costs.
$5,000 for SHORT-TERM SHELTER, CAR, PHONE, MOVING/STORAGE, CLOTHING, TOILETRIES & PET CARE NEEDS for the PAST 6 WEEKS
- $1,000 on short-term housing (17 nights) after the Women Helping Women voucher and Ohio Domestic Violence Protection vouchers expired. Prayers were answered as a bed in a domestic abuse shelter program became available on 12/15/2023, and the need is now met.
- $1,500 on transportation: for Uber rides to medical appointments and to prevent the family member’s vehicle from being repossessed until short-term disability funds were paid on 12/1/2023. We made three months of back payments and paid for Uber transportation to medical appointments for three weeks while getting the situation stabilized. The short-term disability income will be sufficient to cover this cost ongoing.
- $750 on cell phone bills for equipment payments and service fees: the cell phone bill for the family members was two months behind when they fled the abuse situation, and we have paid $750 to bring the bill current so that they continue to have this vital resource. The short-term disability income will be sufficient to cover this cost ongoing.
- $1,500 to move their possessions and store them while they live in a homeless shelter. The short-term disability income will be sufficient to cover the storage cost ongoing.
- $500 for clothing, toiletries and household items plus vet care for pet. None of the family members had access to the majority of their personal clothing, toiletries, pet food/supplies, household items and furniture for almost a month after fleeing the abuse situation with literally the clothes on their backs. The pet involved has not been to a veterinary clinic in more than 3 years, and we are paying for the required vaccines, medications, and food/supplies to cover the emergency needs.
PRAY FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED -- AND SHARE OUR STORY
In closing, we also are asking for your prayers and support – and to help share our story and GoFundMe appeal on your social media accounts. To say that this crisis has been overwhelming is an understatement. Our entire family asks for your continued prayers, as the family navigates how to process the traumatic events, and we need the continued engagement of medical, dental, and mental health professionals to restore all to sound body, mind and spirit.
Please include us on your prayer lists personally and with your faith communities. We encourage you to share our story so that others who are in a position to offer emotional and financial help. Blessings to all this holiday season, and our entire family is grateful beyond measure for your unconditional love and support.
Organizer
Leanna Murphy
Organizer
Durham, NC