Help get Freddy's baby a birth certificate
Donation protected
SJ's new baby sibling will soon face the same situation as SJ: no birth certificate, or one that opens them up to discrimination and abuse later in life, because it inaccurately lists Freddy as their 'mother'.
If we can raise this money, there is a solution: Freddy can give birth in Sweden, where he can register accurately as his new baby's father.
I'm fundraising on Freddy’s behalf to cover:
– Travel (possibly overland)
– Self-catered accommodation
– Living costs in Sweden
– A bilingual doula
– Medical bills (we are seeking clarity on whether these can be covered by the NHS)
– A passport for the new baby to get home (and any other admin costs)
Freddy has worked tirelessly for his community and for LGBTQ+ family rights since becoming a solo parent. I know he wouldn’t ask himself but anything you can donate will be so gratefully received and could be life changing for his family.
Thank you.
The longer version...
My eldest son, Freddy, is a transgender man and a birthing parent. My name is Esme and I am very proud to be his mum. Three years ago, I was his birth partner when he gave birth to his first child at our local hospital. It’s been a joy to watch Freddy become an intuitive and devoted dad to our beloved grandson, SJ.
The problem for trans parents
Due to outdated English laws, SJ (now almost four) still does not have a birth certificate. Transgender parents have no legal recognition in our country, which means that, even though Freddy is legally male "for all purposes" (GRA 2004), his only option is to register as SJ’s ‘mother’. This in turn would mean SJ going through life with an inaccurate and confusing birth certificate – listing his father (full name Alfred) as his 'mother'.
Freddy endured a distressing court battle to try to get his son an accurate UK birth certificate. This is about reflecting their reality as a family, the same kind of reality increasing numbers of LGBTQ+ families share. It is about legal certainty and security. This is *not* about hiding anything: I know that Freddy is and will always be open and honest with SJ about how he was conceived and birthed. This part of our family story and we are all proud to share it.
However, the UK court battle was unsuccessful. So, when Freddy decided to grow his family and give SJ a sibling, we were all nervous about the legal side. He conceived via fertility treatment and began preparing for a January 2022 due date.
The (hopeful) solution
Then, Freddy made contact with a trans dad in Germany who had recently travelled to Sweden to give birth because of a similar situation. In Germany, this dad would have had to register as ‘mother’. But, thanks to a law change in 2019 , in Sweden he could register as ‘father’. This change makes Sweden one of the few places in the world to fully recognise transgender parenthood. Many other Western democracies make gender-neutral birth certificates available to all kinds of families, yet the UK government does not.
The dad in Germany explained to Freddy how the experience had been positive, and how at peace he feels now, knowing that his daughter has a birth certificate that reflects her reality.
When Freddy told me about the possibility of going to Sweden, there was no question that his stepdad and I would support him, SJ and the new baby, both emotionally and practically. We feel just as strongly as Freddy that our grandchildren need accurate birth certificates, which reflect their truth and which will not cause embarrassment or put them at a disadvantage as they grow up.
Why are we raising money?
No one should have to leave their home country to give birth. But if this is what it takes to get fair and equal treatment under law for our next grandchild, we feel as a family that we have no choice.
However, travel and a stay of at least a month in Sweden for all four of us will entail huge expenses (it will be longer if the baby is late or if the UK embassy is slow to grant them a passport). Freddy is a single parent and freelance writer, and while we are always by his side, none of us can afford these costs.
Of course, nothing is predictable with pregnancy and birth. If Freddy is unable to travel to Sweden for any reason, all money raised will be refunded. If everything goes to plan, we will leave England in early January 2022 and hope to have completed fundraising by this Christmas.
We also plan to summarise our experience, with the help of our German friend, into an accessible guide for other trans birthing parents needing to make this trip themselves in future.
Thank you again for any amount you can donate.
Links above and further reading:
https://abovethelaw.com/2019/10/transgender-man-ruled-mother-of-his-child/
https://eachother.org.uk/freddy-mcconnell-human-rights-breach/
https://www.buzzfeed.com/patrickstrudwick/mother-no-longer-means-woman-judge-rules
https://www.ngalaw.co.uk/uploads/docs/5e4ab7a076405.pdf
https://tgeu.org/sweden-recognises-trans-parenthood/
If we can raise this money, there is a solution: Freddy can give birth in Sweden, where he can register accurately as his new baby's father.
I'm fundraising on Freddy’s behalf to cover:
– Travel (possibly overland)
– Self-catered accommodation
– Living costs in Sweden
– A bilingual doula
– Medical bills (we are seeking clarity on whether these can be covered by the NHS)
– A passport for the new baby to get home (and any other admin costs)
Freddy has worked tirelessly for his community and for LGBTQ+ family rights since becoming a solo parent. I know he wouldn’t ask himself but anything you can donate will be so gratefully received and could be life changing for his family.
Thank you.
The longer version...
My eldest son, Freddy, is a transgender man and a birthing parent. My name is Esme and I am very proud to be his mum. Three years ago, I was his birth partner when he gave birth to his first child at our local hospital. It’s been a joy to watch Freddy become an intuitive and devoted dad to our beloved grandson, SJ.
The problem for trans parents
Due to outdated English laws, SJ (now almost four) still does not have a birth certificate. Transgender parents have no legal recognition in our country, which means that, even though Freddy is legally male "for all purposes" (GRA 2004), his only option is to register as SJ’s ‘mother’. This in turn would mean SJ going through life with an inaccurate and confusing birth certificate – listing his father (full name Alfred) as his 'mother'.
Freddy endured a distressing court battle to try to get his son an accurate UK birth certificate. This is about reflecting their reality as a family, the same kind of reality increasing numbers of LGBTQ+ families share. It is about legal certainty and security. This is *not* about hiding anything: I know that Freddy is and will always be open and honest with SJ about how he was conceived and birthed. This part of our family story and we are all proud to share it.
However, the UK court battle was unsuccessful. So, when Freddy decided to grow his family and give SJ a sibling, we were all nervous about the legal side. He conceived via fertility treatment and began preparing for a January 2022 due date.
The (hopeful) solution
Then, Freddy made contact with a trans dad in Germany who had recently travelled to Sweden to give birth because of a similar situation. In Germany, this dad would have had to register as ‘mother’. But, thanks to a law change in 2019 , in Sweden he could register as ‘father’. This change makes Sweden one of the few places in the world to fully recognise transgender parenthood. Many other Western democracies make gender-neutral birth certificates available to all kinds of families, yet the UK government does not.
The dad in Germany explained to Freddy how the experience had been positive, and how at peace he feels now, knowing that his daughter has a birth certificate that reflects her reality.
When Freddy told me about the possibility of going to Sweden, there was no question that his stepdad and I would support him, SJ and the new baby, both emotionally and practically. We feel just as strongly as Freddy that our grandchildren need accurate birth certificates, which reflect their truth and which will not cause embarrassment or put them at a disadvantage as they grow up.
Why are we raising money?
No one should have to leave their home country to give birth. But if this is what it takes to get fair and equal treatment under law for our next grandchild, we feel as a family that we have no choice.
However, travel and a stay of at least a month in Sweden for all four of us will entail huge expenses (it will be longer if the baby is late or if the UK embassy is slow to grant them a passport). Freddy is a single parent and freelance writer, and while we are always by his side, none of us can afford these costs.
Of course, nothing is predictable with pregnancy and birth. If Freddy is unable to travel to Sweden for any reason, all money raised will be refunded. If everything goes to plan, we will leave England in early January 2022 and hope to have completed fundraising by this Christmas.
We also plan to summarise our experience, with the help of our German friend, into an accessible guide for other trans birthing parents needing to make this trip themselves in future.
Thank you again for any amount you can donate.
Links above and further reading:
https://abovethelaw.com/2019/10/transgender-man-ruled-mother-of-his-child/
https://eachother.org.uk/freddy-mcconnell-human-rights-breach/
https://www.buzzfeed.com/patrickstrudwick/mother-no-longer-means-woman-judge-rules
https://www.ngalaw.co.uk/uploads/docs/5e4ab7a076405.pdf
https://tgeu.org/sweden-recognises-trans-parenthood/
Organizer
Esme Chilton
Organizer
