Help Felise's family rebuild from early onset Alzheimer's

Greetings. I'm here to plead to you all for help, due to the terrible series of life-altering events, medical and otherwise, that have severely damaged our family's life.

The short version... My mother is in the late stages of early onset Alzheimer's, my father retired early to take in-house care of her, and in the years since, we have never recovered, living off what little disability we can. The same year, I developed a debilitating chronic illness, a severe form of IBD, leaving me bedridden regularly and with constant chronic pain, now with permanent unstable health. A few years into that, when I finally started making attempts to gain independence and improve my life despite that, right after I received my learner's permit, my father was diagnosed with cancer, and began a year long battle- DURING my own struggle with my health, and us both needing to take care of my mother. He thankfully has since been recovering and is cancer-free, but, again, it irreversibly damaged our lives. Due to the emotional toil and complete loss of almost everything our life used to be, my younger brother has also struggled with addiction, which has made everything else even harder. We've barely afforded to help my sister fund her college expenses, and as a result, we are completely at the mercy of any medical struggle that happens next- due to our situation, none of us can work... without this GoFundMe, my family is going to suffer so much more than we already have, and will.

These have been the worst and hardest years of all of our lives, and if you can spare anything to support us, please, please consider doing so. Thank you, so so much.

Below is an extremely long, fairly detailed account of our struggles- you do not have to read all this at all. But the longer version and timeline of my family's struggles is provided below here, if you desire to read.

In 2018, my mother, Felise Coover Rigdon, was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. She had been struggling with her memory, and that was nothing new. But she was repeating conversation topics just a few minutes after they finished... And her tastes had changed. TV Shows she used to love, she now had utter disdain for. When she was diagnosed, it was certainly a shock to all of us, despite that. But we, largely, continued living life as normal. She was still very much herself after all- and she was unwilling to so much as even acknowledge the disease, fully having faith in God. She became unable to drive safely a couple years in, and many of us have hardly left our home in the years since, due to lack of being able to.

At the start of 2021, I myself, became bedridden and in constant horrible pain, rushing to the bathroom every few minutes, and bleeding internally. After weeks, we finally took me to the doctor, who suggested we immediately go to the ER. There, I went through the most painful several days of my life. If it was never going to change, I would genuinely rather have died. Thankfully, it has improved since, though it has forever changed my life for the worse and made it so I can never function normally for good. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, and since then, have had times where I'm almost normal again, but the disease regularly eats away at days, or weeks of my life, with me having little control over when it makes me disabled again. But gradually, my health improved, to where I can at least function normally much of the time.

Everything changed again, half a year later, part way through 2021. My mother was for the most part a fully functional normal person still, but she had certainly gotten worse in those past years- most days she was rewatching the newest season of one her favorite shows for months on end, fully believing she still hadn't finished it. But nothing could compare to what happened next. Like a switch had suddenly been flipped, she picked up a book from our shelves, and claimed that she was the main character, that the events had happened to her, and she forgot about it until now. No matter the attempts at snapping her out of it, she was fully convinced of that fact. This was extremely distressing, but, otherwise, non-harmful... But she was never the same after that day. In the days and weeks to come, she had horrible delusions and hallucinations. She began to regularly run out of the house and into the woods, we had to put a tracker on her wrist and padlocks on the doors, and my father then retired from work early, throwing away what he was going to earn after many many years of backbreaking work, because we could not look after her ourselves, seeing as I had only barely reached adulthood and was chronically ill, whilst my siblings were children themselves.

In the weeks and months to come, she was erratic and unstable, symptoms of schizophrenia being brought on by her illness. She was yelling 24/7, regularly accusing us, and the family pets of being demons, and believing she was trapped here. It was a nightmarish way to live- but we were never going to give up on her.

Thankfully, after living that hell for several months, she received new medication, which calmed those symptoms. She was never the same as she was before them, but, she became calm again.

During this calm, while we were finally given time to breathe over the next year, and adjust to our new life, I began to make strides to become independent, starting with learning to drive, to both be able to help my family, and myself. As soon as I received my learner's permit, my father discovered a lump on his tongue, and was diagnosed with cancer. He could no longer teach me to drive- and began a year long battle, struggling through radiation treatments. He thankfully, fought it off, and remains cancer free, but it was an extremely difficult year, and by the time he recovered, my mother was now in a state where she could not be left alone at all, due to her childlike mentality- and my sister's driving became the priority, as they were preparing to go to college.

And so we reach 2024. My sister went to college, which even with the maximum amount of assistance due to our situation and her peak academic performance, we barely managed to pay for the extra expenses. With my brother out of the house and with friends, at nearly all times for his own mental health (I can hardly blame him for that), I was now essentially unable to continue learning to drive, until our situation changes. All my dreams, all my aspirations, unreachable, and impossible, with all our lives changed. But in no way would I ever abandon my family.

We continued our daily life, pretty much just me and my father alone with her. Me still struggling with my unpredictable health, and him still not being fully back to how he was before the cancer. But we were just doing what we can to care for her, and not completely fall apart mentally.

But we couldn't even have one small rest. Not long before my sister left for college, my father discovered a horrifying fact- that my younger brother's coping mechanism, had been to remain high, at every single second he's awake, ever since my mother's disease began. That was why he was gone all the time- and at this point, had it hidden in many places at home too. We should have noticed, with his increased anger and instability, and his constant coughing, but we thought it was largely our living situation... And we had just been dealing with so much. We couldn't have known. Being high 24/7, for many years, at the most developmental time of his life... My brother was severely impacted, and extremely dependent on remaining numb to his emotions, having used it as a crutch for his clear depression- which we all had varying levels of, at this point.

My father acted quickly. He knew my brother needed help, badly, and what he was doing was hurting him. He admitted himself, that he was attempting to find and use worse things, anything to numb himself. So my father made every attempt to provide anything possible to help him. Taking him to therapy regularly, getting him proper medication, even buying new, healthier distractions for him, with money we absolutely did not have. With my brother regularly threatening suicide over not having access to his drugs, my father felt he had no choice, but to do absolutely anything to help him.

Screaming matches were regular over the course of that year. My father powerless to help my brother, because he would not accept any answer, besides letting him do things that would actively hurt him, but make him feel better in the moment. I hid in my room much of the time, whilst my mother paced throughout the house, despite being a garbled mess and not knowing anyone's names, being a fully functional adult physically still, but being largely oblivious to what was occurring.

Mere weeks after those events, before my sister left still, I was having a wonderful night, one of the best in years. Spending time with my friends online, the only way for me to have social interaction at all, with our situation. When I suddenly heard loud banging on a wall, and my father screaming my name. My mother had had a seizure, and was entirely non-responsive, out cold, unable to wake. She was using the toilet when it happened. It was one of the most nightmarish scenes you could ever witness. We just sat there, holding her, pleading. Making sure she could breathe, and following the 911 operator's instructions. The ambulance took over an hour to arrive. One of the longest hours of all our lives. Right as they did, she began regaining consciousness, acting as if nothing had happened at all, only expressing annoyance and confusion. It was a long, long next 12 hours. It was a nightmare in the room there, her strapped down while they evaluated her, desperate and begging us to save her. I'm glad I was the only one who didn't go in to see. They finally just told us, there's absolutely nothing we can do, we just have to watch her extra close and pray it doesn't happen again.

Recently, we had gotten more specifics on her illness, not only is it the already rare early onset Alzheimer's- it's a version of it that has never been documented before, ever. Every stage of the illness is completely different from her than for other patients, they can't predict it at all- which checks out. Any other person with the illness would have been a catatonic mess ages ago, but, with her, everything is massively different. We could be living this way with her for mere months, or years and years.

Everything came to a head with my brother, after many months of arguments. My brother, detoxing again, refused to let up this time. He insisted to be let go to illegally drink and get high with his friends, and when he tried to force his way out of the door, my father physically stopped him. Not remotely in a harmful way, just held him back. But my brother's nose hit a hard surface, and blood went absolutely everywhere. I had been pretending I was still asleep up to that point, hiding in my room, trying not to sob, listening to their battle of wills, while my father tried to reason with him. I had to rush in there, when my father yelled for me, telling me to call 911. I came out to blood everywhere. I was shellshocked and not prepared at all- but thankfully it was just his nosebleed, and no one was seriously hurt. My father had me stand there, to watch and make sure he didn't try to break out the door, whilst he called them instead. It was absolutely a last resort, but my brother was extremely unstable, and was going to hurt himself, or someone else unintentionally. My brother came out after this, and didn't go near the door. But we failed to account for the door in our laundry room, which was broken and hadn't been opened in years. He brute forced his way out of it, breaking it off the padlock we had installed during our mother's erratic time., and he ran. My father rushed after him, leaving me in there to look after my mother. I was shaking, shocked, and barely managing. I wasn't prepared for this. But we sat there for 30 minutes, before both of them came back in. My brother had stopped at the road, seemingly smart enough to know it was pointless. And the cops had arrived, but refused to help, as they couldn't strap my brother down to take him to a rehab center, without his consent.

My father had to take him himself... Which my brother was strangely calm about. He seemed to believe it would be like going to the therapist which we'd done the other times he threatened suicide, where they simply ask him if he has a plan, he says no, and they send him home. My father was worried, given his erratic behavior. He could jump out of the car, and get himself hurt. But thankfully, the trip went off without a hitch- besides my brother begging and pleading to not be left there. It was one of the hardest things we'd ever done. And... there's a lot of those, in the past years. They only kept my brother a few days, rather than weeks as they claimed was the length. But when he returned, he was seemingly doing much better... To this day, we have no way of truly verifying if my brother's habits have improved. Without putting him on complete house arrest in our miserable living situation, which, as someone who essentially lives that, I wouldn't wish on anyone- he could very well be doing the exact same, but being more cautious about bringing things home, and we'd have no way of knowing. We hope he's truly better, and we are enthusiastic and as proactive as we can be in making sure he has all the options he can to deal with things. But it's all up to him now.

Now we reach our current day. Since those events, my mother is now incontinent, continues to walk around nearly all the time, and has much more garbled speech. But she remains someone you can interact with, spend time with. You just have to work really hard for it. She's very aware of the world around her still, despite her lack of knowledge of it now, excitedly responding to stimuli such as colors or music- and most importantly, still being able to express love, most of the time. My brother is still gone nearly all the time, but seemingly much healthier emotionally. My sister is getting an apartment for her second semester- we wish we could help, but she's having to get a job to fund it herself, as we are so utterly devastated with no recovery time at all, financially, physically, and emotionally, by... literally everything listed above here.

And me. I'm in limbo. Early adulthood, and some of the most important years of my life, already taken, years that I needed to be able to define my own life and begin to live. I wouldn't have done things any differently of course- I would never leave when my family is like this. I've made the biggest stride towards any progress in life besides just struggling through these constant horrible events, by finally making my bank account, because, my father will accept help, if I make this myself.

My entire family needs it. We can't afford something as simple as the more expensive protein shakes that are best for IBS, for when I can't stomach solid food. We have to wait with a broken toilet as of yesterday (god this bit sucks), because we don't have anything to fix it with, and have no money until our next bill comes in. Our cat, just nearly died from a wound that she was extremely lucky to live from... if she had, merely because we couldn't afford treatment, I couldn't live with myself. With our current finances, my sister will be stuck fending for herself with us unable to help, and her leaving the household combined with some increased disability, already means we no longer qualify for EBT. My brother may not receive the help he needs, if he needs further treatment, given Alabama is not the best for psychiatric help and therapy, insurance-wise. My mother and my own health issues, and my father's, even if covered, will put us in even more dire straits by disabling us and pushing us down further. I've kept telling myself, my entire family has kept thinking, things will eventually get better... Well. We can't afford to wait anymore. We have to make things better.

The goal isn't a requirement at all, GoFundMe just wouldn't make the page without one. Funds will be used to help with medical necessities, rebuild our family's safety net for the inevitable problems to come, and, if we raise enough, to hopefully get my life closer to what it would have been, without these horrible events. Updates will likely be given as the funds are used to improve things.

Please. Help our family be able to live again. And help me, to be able to have a life of my own one day. God... I can only hope.