Project Lemur - A Hand UP to Get UP!

Silence is a lie. And I’m not a liar. 

Malevolence, when tangled with, fractures you. I have learned that most people who have PTSD don’t have it because they were hurt. They have it because they encountered someone that WANTED to hurt them. You can recover but you will never be the same person again. It is devastating. Beyond words. And you will grieve the loss of the person you always knew to be you.

1 in 3. Don’t forget. Even the people you think are the strongest can fall victim to violence, trauma and betrayal by people who tell them they "love" them. I was the toughest girl on the block and it happened to me. And it affects the people that do truly love victims as well - including the little ones in our communities. The question most often asked, "Why didn`t you just leave?" is a tough one. I used to ask the same thing. But what I can tell you is what we hear is, "It`s your fault" when asked that. I have a story just like everyone does and it takes some guts to stand up and share your truth. Especially in a court of law while being lied about. And when a victim has the guts to finally show up and the abuser pleads guilty to it all , why are we not allowed to speak at sentencing? This is a constitutional right. Denied by the judge. Told me they have a “busy day in court” . Really? All recorded. And my abuser’s mommy told me that defense council’s husband was “friends with the judge” and “I own this town, Missy!”Whatever . Move along , woman. Anger is a secondary emotion that comes from fear so I knew that all along. And they should be scared because they knew I wasn’t. Even in terrible trauma and pain , I have been strongly encouraged to share my story . I plan to in due time. But only for the purpose of doing good for others. NOTE : if you decide to pursue charges , you are merely a witness for the State. The prosecutors are not your personal attorneys. You can hire a private attorney that will work with prosecutors on your behalf and relieves you at least a bit to sit and listen to nonsense. My abuser plead guilty and defense council literally said, “Ms. Berg was complicit in this” What? 30 years in executive sales , I almost laughed out loud. So I picked up a 6’4” man’s hand up and punched my own face . And his body that kicked me over my entire body on the ground to point where 5 different hotel guests crying and screaming , called 911 saying , “ this woman is going to die any second. I remember every I kept reminding myself of this. Socrates: “When the debate is lost, insult become the loser’s tool. “ Not only pathetic and desperate. And most of all an embarrassment to our legal system . And was told by one of the prosecutors that our legal system, sadly, is set up to defend criminals. Not victims. Really think about that. He already plead guilty almost ten charges. It is baffling.

When police came to the hotel he told to go in the bathroom and “shut the F up” I was in shock and reeling. Clearly he was arrested swiftly and my face was already swelling up. I am not someone used to having police pound on my door. Like never.

I will, however, answer the above question for you boldly: Why we didn't leave is because 70% of us are murdered in the U.S. if we try to leave. That is roughly 133 women /girls a day. (I use this statistic as a woman. I had to figure out a plan that included cleaning up messes that he was very calculating to make sure was in my name. Not a man. A parasite.

Clearly , there are men and our LBGTQ loved ones at risk and affected as well.)  And even if we do manage to leave, yes, even years later as life moved on for victims, they are stalked and tracked down. He sat on the floor in front of the door and I pretended to sleep to keep it calm. I was told, "Erin, wherever you are in the world, I will find you and I have people who will as well. I will make sure you never see your son again. My mother has papers ready to put you in jail.” And his mother sent me texts telling me the same thing. But they sure loved me when I kept my mouth shut. That changed in about 5 minutes when I chose me. I was immediately blamed and threatened along with my brother. Unacceptable.

While I was repairing two homes he embarrassingly destroyed in sever pain and he defrauded me, the cherry on my sundae was he and his mommy only asked for “his clothes”’ . That I paid for. While I am healing physical injuries and processing the betrayal. Nothing about the damage he did or my well being. His clothes mattered most. Nothing about paying for the repairs, my well being. Nothing . Terrible people who use others as pawns and ruin and abuse others. It is astounding to me how horrible these people are. One night he took a large knife and ran it up and down my legs while sitting on the bed and I was just watching the news. I just looking at him and his eyes were literally black. “Sweetheart , would you like to die quickly or slowly?” Obviously , a bit of paralysis on the inside but I said what the Erin I would , “well who wants to die slowly? “ ‍♀️. His eyes snapped back to brown and he was “omg Erin you are gangster . Geez” I don’t need to be “ gangsters. I just tried to stay calm and shrugged. He just sat there and watched the news like normal. I actually consider this one the most proudest moments of my life. Mothers do whatever they need to home to their cubs. Mine was 9,000 miles away and I felt drawn to Henrik. That was never his plan I learned. It makes me sick.

I look forward to the day things shift in our communities that they might focus more on asking the abuser, “Why do you continue to brutalize and terrorize this person?” ‍Rather than consistently blaming the victim for violence they didn’t deserve. I am half his size and he is a psycho. What would suggest? Until the judicial system stops protecting the abusers…..nothing will ever change and multiple family law attorneys have told me ,” Erin , sorry to tell you, but domestic violence is pretty low on the list in the judicial system. “ wow , so almost 49,000 woman and girls are murdered each year. And it’s not a priority. And that is just MY demographic. To be blunt, we have domestic terrorists causing terrible violence in our communities daily. It is terror. I’ve been there. When I knew I had to figure out how to get out of there, I just kept things quiet and calm. And it took about a month before somehow the police were called again and because he violated the protection order , it was a felony charge. This police officers saved my life and I reached out to them about 2 years later and a couple them were crying. They assumed I had been murdered. I send cards and thank you gifts ( with permission of course from the PD in the city) and I am close with a few them them today almost 4 1/4 years later. There aren't enough ways to say thank you and they said, “being alive to say thank, Erin. We are overwhelmed” In the town that his mommy told me she owns. Bullies. I don’t play with bullies. Stupid games win stupid prizes.

I remember I would ask him in tears, “What would you say to your daughter if someone she loved was hurting her?” I never did get an answer. 

This is important! : On average, it takes victims seven times to try and leave before staying away for good. It is the most unsafe time for a victim as the abuser senses losing power. In my case, he stole my identification including my passport, Norwegian residency card, my money (through calculated lies you can’t even believe even if I showed you) , constantly destroying my mobile phones, impersonated me online among an overwhelming list of other offenses. I still have a hard time processing it all at times. How someone could do this to another human being. Then brutally beat and kick them and then blame and shame the person they did this to. He kicked in my front door and friend to choke me me and interest , the judge refused to bind aggravated assault . Which is a violent felony. It was just a simple misdemeanor . So I guess mommy wasn’t lying about all the back door deals with his defense attorneys. I had news reporters calling me wanting to interviews. I filed a complaint with Judicial Commission. And you can literally watch the entire sentencing. The district attorney quickly denied and told me I had 30 days to present new evidence otherwise the matter will closed. Yes. Live video recorded in his County Courtroom. I mean is he saying his own courthouse and county is not considered credible evidence? I didn’t do the tv interviews because I have a child and nowadays that will never go away and all I wanted was a quiet and safe life. I’m not a dum dum. I won’t get into all the other I DID do on the back end and the county got extremely rude to me including even victim’s advocates. They just wanted me to go away. Too bad so sad! I made things super uncomfortable. I was polite but persistent and then suddenly the prosecutor blocked me on email and the victims advocates. Wow, way to help the community. And then I find out the this Judge has chosen to retire I believe is was Christmas 2024. Judges are voted in as you and what I found out is that the private club of the legal system basically just says, “you won’t be running for re election.” LOL. Gee, I wonder who made that happen? I am just a victim who isn’t even from that state but his. Nobody and nothing scares me anymore . They can’t stand it. Sorry . It took 18 months all while the neighboring county had a hearing set up . And they told me how terrible this original county is. Does my life matter 20 miles away from another county? He loves to brutalize people all over the country. It was a much bigger and more urban county. My abuser never showed up for hearings and And of course his mommy was running the whole thing.”well I don’t know what I am going to do about that….”

so I said, in my head, “well I do!” Completely different experience. The Judge was so compassionate and kind. I agreed with the plea offer to get this cleaned up and it was more than he could hope for.. why my abuser is allowed to address me personally when I can’t address him is insanity. I don’t want hint him to talk to me again. It is traumatizing..

Best of all, I did get away. I wasn’t complicit . I loved someone and I was raised to be loyal and I was only trying to help someone I truly loved and it was brutal to come to the realization that I didn't matter to someone who meant a lot to me.

That aside, no matter what, I am so traumatised by this, I am concerned about why our elected officials/judges don’t care to witness statistics. When 33% of society is being assaulted, terrorised, and horrifically murdered, we need some heroes. It is clearly a no brainer for me. And it is HARD. And so what then? Get to work is all I could think of and I still have a lot to work on. I had to put my pain elsewhere and on other in order really start healing. Don’t get me started on the children… all I see my son in every child and I carry that me forever with work to stay focused. I talk to my father a lot (RIP) and I am not joking , “I was saying my prayers before bed and I said , daddy , nobody cares. It hurts equally as much as that monster that hurt me.” It wasn’t audible but I just heard in my head, “Then make them care, my girl. You are the one.” I got my directive and got busy!

I promised God that if He could get me through this, I would help others. So here I am. And so proud to be! Not an expert at this but I am one heck of bulldog at sales for 30+ years. it is genuine and authentic. And I am a Lindberg! We are a great team!

I was paralyzed for quite some time which isn’t Erin. 4” heels and closing deals. I am still me but the energy has shifted. I have enough shoes and beautiful clothes to last me two more lifetimes. It’s all about service now.

I didn’t want anyone else to ever feel so alone, devastated, hopeless, embarassed in their fear, shame and pain. I just kept telling myself, "GET UP, Erin." Literally. To have one person come to a victim unsolicited with this simple gesture such as I am trying to lead with now that said, "You matter, I understand and you don`t have to explain anything. You were trying to survive, And you`re going to be ok! Let’s just get you safe and protected so you can rest and then we go to the next step. I got you" from the community means more to me than you know. I am fortunate enough to have a supportive family and it was still so painful healing alone. And I know I am not the only one. This is just my story. Many have no one.

They do have me and other awesome volunteers though! Besides trauma counseling and putting one foot in front of the other, I found being of service has been a pivotal form of healing. And the greatest gift we can give our children and loved ones is healing ourselves.

For a child to be provided a backpack with essential toiletries and a plush toy, a "friend" that is theirs for comfort instead of just a garbage bag to put their belongings in (heartbreaking, I know and it’s sadly true) in the middle of terrible trauma would mean so much to them. Many children don’t even know where their parents are and don’t know if they are alive or not. Nor know where they are going. I can barely breathe writing this.

For an adult victim looking for a new life and needs a little dignity to "GET UP" and fulfill all the gifts and talents they have to offer the world and to support themselves and loved ones, give back to their community and know they matter? THAT is healing and that is good for everyone.

A professional bag (of many varieties) and wallet (RFID protected) that is classy and durable provides confidence just like it does for anyone of us that owns something that provides a sense of pride. Gold! It could help them get that job, get into that school or just take a chance to try for a good and safe life. And those who know me well, know I have great taste and am a smart shopper. ;-). I find the best deals on the best quality to maximize the generosity shown by the community. I can tell you from my personal experience, I was busy sales exec and that’s all my son ever knew. I was ashamed to come back to him with a different look in my eyes. And then, “hey, Henrik has seen just success and (well not always of course) , what if I could use this to show my son (of course I protected him from the major stuff. He was only 13 and he mostly cared about having me back by side) to be vulnerable and be an example of how , even at 50, you can grieve and be your own leader if you need to be and watch me slowly heal and fight for my life. What a way to inspire a child and know we taught them a real life lesson right in front them without saying much other than just “ok, here is what we are going get done today” I am no expert but I just kept putting my thoughts around , “ I was 13 once so you know exactly what he needs the most.” So that was my goal and I built the action items to work towards that goal. Never perfect (because that isn’t real life) but he saw his mother just trying.

My son, Henrik, had his favorite stuffed animal as a young child (as many of us have had) and it is our beloved little meerkat, “Lemur”, and gave him comfort at all times. Meerkats have a unique "on the lookout" trait about them. Protection and being "on the watch." And Henrik named him Lemur. (yes, a different animal but that is what he called him so we went with it) And we still have him today. I plan to put one in every bag provided. I even carry him (the OG!) around sometimes in my bag!

My story, while frightening at times, isn`t sad. I am litererally alive. Gratitude and focus. I am not ashamed of it anymore and neither should anyone else. It is one of strength and finding that voice inside, even if just a whisper at the start, to "Get UP. You are worth it!”

I hate that I have had to have learn how cruel the world can be but doing my best to keep a healthy and safe home for my son and me.

Domestic Violence Services of Snohomish County and Skagit County will be receving many donations of handbags, backpacks, wallets that I am leading through this project.

I humbly give 100 percent to the County and appropriate services. And some special local family/friends on my behalf while I am in Norway going back and forth. Snohomish County also does a handbag auction every year that I plan on volunteering for and attending. Any funds donated here will go to these efforts that I will personally oversee so you can be confident in your donation. It is an honor to do this.

You don`t have to love purses or meerkats - I can certainly do that. :-) But if you love the well being of another human that needs a hand UP to get UP, while helping this girl keep healing through helping others, I can promise a great ROI in that

I am confident this is a wonderful way to start someone on their way in trying and finding that voice and know they matter and they are valued. I don`t look over my shoulder anymore but I know they are always lurking. Just let them. Sad choice in life. I know who I am and always have been. Nothing to hide. I always tell my son , “ remember who you are” (fist bump)

I couldn’t see color when I was suffering and now I can. So I have chosen a bunch of amazing bags (again, all varieties) with joy that I can really see and appreciate now. That, along with quality, thoughtful organization and the most beautiful colors in fabrics. the founder perfected herself over years in Luxury Satin and Leather-like brilliance. It is something I am grateful for. And they are PETA approved. A rigorous process to go through and achieve. I have invested what little personal money I have left and can afford to get this going. Because even though I was treated pretty poorly, as the great Brene Brown says, " I was brave and so I won." All while being told by his “mommy,” this: “I OWN this town!” Threats , lies, and deceit in order to protect a monster.

I believed that if I approached this with a gentle and authentic heart, I would find the other meerkats out there to help. No garbage bags for children. As a mother, I can`t even imagine. Not on my watch!

Your donation is sacred and humbling to Project Lemur, Henrik and me. I will be providing updates and also evolving and growing amongst/within the community along with partners. Learning along the way. So grateful for the people in my life that I could never repay for the kindness and support. I’ve seen the worst. And I still chose to believe in the best of us. 

Thank you for considering and donating from the bottom of my heart -Erin, and Henrik .....and Lemur!

1 in 3. #projectlemur

Immediate 24/7 help: https://www.nomore.org/help/

And the OG of survivor who helped me “get up”. Find your hero and hang on! Even if it’s you and that is actually amazing. I believe in you! ❤️

https://youtu.be/SvCyFHWBUlc?feature=shared

it isn’t right.

https://youtu.be/O5-c79LQ3aM?feature=shared