I'm no good at asking for help. Not sure I ever really have been. As a teacher, I always urge my students to ask for help, reminding them that if they take the chance, expose their vulnerabilities, and reach out, they will grow and come out stronger.

Christina and I are reaching out in our hopes to grow a family. Over the past 8 years, we have rebuilt a home, established a sled dog kennel, raised (and butchered) countless farm animals, worked the land, and moved our lives across the country, side by side the entire time. We've allowed space for each other to pursue passions and dream about the seemingly unreachable. Growing in love through it all.

The past few years have been heavy in loss and letdown. Could-have-beens never to reach fruition. Our first loss taught me that pregnancy is not a sure thing. Society tricked me into believing that having a kid is easy and normal. My naivety led to a quick education in pregnancy loss statistics. Christina knew something wasn't right from the start. I took the loss hard, but the timing wasn't right, so we moved on.

The second experience felt right. We paid attention to each other and ourselves, preparing the space in our heads and hearts for something new and unknown. Long story short, Christina endured a ruptured ectopic pregnancy which needed emergency surgery. Devastating as it was, we were still determined to have a child that was our "own."

This third go round was a rollercoaster of anxiety and excitement. Parts of it I remember well, like willing the baby to be in the right "spot" and receiving confirmation that it was. I remember making it passed the first trimester, and feeling like I could finally breath, that things were going well. Loosing this one, when we thought it was happening was unspeakably devastating. It took a major toll on our minds and on Christina's body. Because of all of this, we have made the decision to take a deeper dive into our options and potential alternatives

Our world doesn't talk about pregnancy loss, but for those who've been there, we know your pain. Alternatives to natural birth come with an astronomical price tag, one far out of reach.

We will be pursuing two avenues in hopes of growing our family. One will involve advanced fertility exploration, leaving no stone unturned in hopes of bringing a natural birth to term. The other will be related to the potential for both domestic and international adoption. Both of these options come with an incredible financial burden, which we cannot shoulder alone.

We are seeking your support to help us start a new chapter, with a hefty goal of $30,000, that we know can be achieved.

Any funds not spent will be donated to several charities near and dear to our hearts including the Theodore Roosevelt Conservation Partnership.