Help Carl Sr and CJ

Happy Sunday to my family and friends. I’m using Father’s Day one that I celebrate everyday for myself and thru a lot of coaxing and letting go of ego and pride to ask for assistance and please share this on all your social platforms. I’m completely out of options. I’ve exhausted all of my personal funds and credit cards. As many of you know CJ’s my pride and joy. I also have a daughter Anaii who is 5 years old, haven’t seen since 2019 but have been furiously fighting for through court since she was 3 months old starting in 2017. I’ve spoken about her briefly only because it takes so much out of me emotionally, mentally, physically and psychologically to be open about her. I’m a very private person so for me to be as transparent as needed has my anxiety at an all time high but this isn’t about me anymore. This is about CJ before myself. I don’t know my daughters exact whereabouts and don’t have contact. I’m only going to share personal details so the severity of this is understood as tough, embarrassing and emasculating as it may be. Publicizing this is still an unacceptable reality for me. As a parent if you can even begin to understand the drastic contrast of having access to one child all day everyday and absolutely none with the other is an emotionally confusing and draining experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I was issued a protection order that spanned 2 years without incident, no police report EVER being filed but approved by the courts which blocked any court orders for joint custody or to see my daughter. I’ve also had CPS interview CJ (initiated by my daughters mother) after she reported claims of child abuse when he was 8 she NEVER met or saw CJ in person. So for the past 8 months I’m required by court order to pay $1800 a month $900 per check to her. According to the court I missed a scheduled appearance because I only appeared audio not visually thru a faulty link the court sent me. This is all on record. A team called LIFT reached out to me to confirm this and filed an appeal on my behalf but it didn’t change anything and after 5 years I’m still fighting. They have acknowledged it was their error but never gave me the opportunity again. I’ve repeatedly called and appeared at the courthouse (and continue to) in hopes of anything being done to expedite the process but unfortunately I’m just a number, there is no timetable and I have to wait. I’m unable to pay rent and utilities, I’m in the process of getting evicted multiple months behind and unable to keep food in my home or provide basic necessities for CJ. He was also suspended from private school where he is an honor roll student because of my inability to maintain his tuition. He’s been at his school for 9 years. I eat bare minimum during the week just so I have actual food in my fridge on the weekends to cook for him. Currently I’m waiting for a modification of the child support order. I bring home on average $200 per week. I’m told the petition will be months because they are still trying to catch up since covid so in the meantime this is the situation. I’ve worked double shifts and even a third job, anything I can get my hands on. I was able to maintain this until the physical and mental strain took over and the overtime and other opportunities dried up. I still find something temporary occasionally but not consistent enough to make a significant contribution. Even the money I’ve made thank God from contributions has just been a temporary band-aid because I’m still not making anything with the deductions. I’ve been in/out of VA facilities (since I’m prior military) due to my mental illness and have regular scheduled check in’s. I’ve been doing my best battling depression for over 5 years but my current circumstances have it spiraling out of control. CJ deserves his sister and I deserve my daughter…CONSISTENTLY. For anyone who knows me personally or intimately and my relationship with CJ, NOTHING brings me more joy and not being present in my daughters life is a non-negotiable for me. I just want to be a dad. That’s it…period. This is my current position and any help is appreciated. Thank you all and God Bless, Carl Sr and Carl Jr.