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It Was Not International Women’s Day for All, Even in America
This day, Caitlin sat in a county jail in Florida having had U.S. Marshalls break down her parents’ door and forcibly remove her three-year-old daughter, in order to return her to the abusive man and his complicit mother from whom she had sought refuge. Her crime? Fleeing the State of California when she learned her daughter was being touched in an inappropriate and sexual manner during her one-day per week visitations with her father. It was the last thing Caitlin could think to do to keep Bella and herself safe.
She had tried following the law. After the last time, when he grabbed her by the throat and threw her against a wall, she knew she had to leave or he would surely kill her. With Caitlin gone, who would protect her daughter? The rural Sacramento area police had told her to barricade herself in her room and to call if the man attacked her again. With ringing ears and a splitting headache from where her head had struck the wall, she packed a bag for herself and her daughter, as the police finally arrived on the scene. Caitlin took her daughter and left the apartment where she was the primary lease-holder. She no longer had a car of her own, as this man had wrecked it and then taken her insurance money to get himself another one. She had no money…not even the food stamps and WIC entitlements she received for herself and her daughter for being low-income – he and his mother routinely confiscated those, too.
The man had threatened to harm her many times before, and had been true to his word to varying degrees of severity. If she disobeyed or questioned him, there were repercussions. The man’s mother (who shared the apartment) acknowledged, tolerated and enabled the man’s behavior, cautioning Caitlin to “not upset him. “His father had abused them both, which was detailed in sealed California court records. Privately, the man’s mother also admitted to her that she had hoped the man “would grow out of it, like [his father] had” after their divorce, and that she should have gotten the man counseling when he was younger. The mother put him in Martial Arts, but rather than giving him an outlet for his anger, it instead made the man into a weapon.
With few exceptions, Caitlin had complied with the man’s rules, initially because she felt compassion for the man due to his abusive upbringing, but later because she increasingly feared for her daughter and her lives. One such exception were the times he would try to get her to breastfeed her daughter while he attempted to have “romantic” sex with her. She was abused for refusing.
No matter how hard she tried, it seemed nothing she did pleased the man. The man escalated into using abusive language towards her and her daughter, forcing her to perform oral “acts of contrition” on him with their daughter present in the same room, and smacking her and using his superior strength and training to swing her around by her hair whenever she would try to resist. The man was sexually violent.
Worse, his threats of violence increased and took shape against those whom she cared most about – her daughter and her animals. Having already killed her cat, the man began to kick her dog in its’ stomach and cause it injury whenever it crossed his path, as he knew it pained her and undermined the girl’s self-confidence. Witnessing the man’s bullying fits of anger shifting to another target, and wondering how much time she had before he turned on her and her daughter, the girl began to doubt her ability to protect herself and her daughter. After all, she had thus far been unable to protect other defenseless creatures from his unpredictable mood swings and rage. It was time to seek help from her family and friends.
Caitlin video called her father for help. Having overheard enough of the conversation, the man flew into a rage, grabbed her by her neck and threw her against the wall, sending her phone flying. The man picked up the phone, stared into the camera menacingly at the girl’s father and with a cruel smirk, hung up the phone. The girl’s father contacted the police immediately and requested they dispatch a patrol to their apartment.
She hired an attorney and filed a Domestic Violence Restraining Order. The girl meticulously detailed the events of escalating violence and instability into the double-digits and with multiple eyewitness’ affidavits…including one from a court psychologist with whom she underwent evaluation to help understand why she (and other DV victims) stay in bad situations for so long.
The girl still tried to use the prescribed legal process. Yet, she could not seem to get her case heard. For months, the Sacramento Family Court system continued to kick the can down the road, rescheduling multiple times based on empty rhetoric -- “you have too many witnesses” and “our docket is too full today, you’ll have to come back” and “this is a two-day event” and “this should be a criminal case.”
This man and his mother -- with self-proclaimed significant ties in California – obtained an attorney and filed fraudulent motion after motion to drain her limited resources –
In the end, Caitlin’s lawyer received more than $32,000.00 for which he produced no measurable results – no DVRO, and no protection from harassment, abuse or violence for her and her daughter. She had provided all the documents and conducted the extra research herself. Her case was supposed to have been heard in August, then September, then October, then November…and then finally February. Without explanation, the appointment for February disappeared from the docket sometime in December…with no notification.
During this period, the man and his mother managed to get the very same Sacramento Family Law court system to order Caitlin to drive her daughter 800 miles round-trip every week for a one-day visit, with no support.
After several weeks of this visitation schedule (due to her case being delayed again and again) – and observed visitation only by the man’s mother, whom the Sacramento Family Court system had designated the supervisor for the man’s visits -- her daughter began to complain of pain in her private parts. Caitlin tried to get her in to a doctor who specialized in child abuse, but was not successful at doing so before having to take her to the next one-day weekly scheduled visit.
This was the final straw. Having no legal recourse via the California court system, no protection from law enforcement and no help from medical professionals, the girl fled California for Florida, where she had resided when her daughter was born, in hopes of finding safety and assistance from the Florida Child Protective Services and Domestic Violence Witness Protection program.
Within 24 hours of her arrival she and her daughter met with FloridaChild Protective Services, who opened an investigation immediately based on what they heard. Formal, follow-on assessment confirmedthe initial findings that Caitlin and her daughter have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of the man’s domestic violence. She and her daughter received counselors to help them begin to process the abuse they had experienced, and to simply try to sleep at night. She was able to get her daughter seen by doctors experienced with children of abuse, whom corroborated that her daughter had inappropriate sexual contact of some kind. Both the girl and her daughter attended counseling every single week from the time they arrived in Florida.
Caitlin found a good job that would train her and let her work from home, so she could be present for her daughter, who cried every time she left the room. As the weeks passed, her daughter’s discomfort in her private parts subsided, although she still did not want doctors (oranyone else) to touch her at all even just to examine her. Her daughter also continued to display odd, adult-like behaviors and comments, all of the girl documented and passed to her daughter’s counselor. Caitlin was on the verge of getting a subsidized apartment in an area with good pre-schools and schools, where she truly hoped they could begin anew.
The man proceeded to lie outright and claimed in legal motions that Caitlin had threatened him with a gun, and was a threat her daughter. She has never even held a gun, and the man’s long-standing status as a Karate brown belt and trained MMA fighter – who happens to also have a gun permit – such a claim is beyond ludicrous. More troublesome is the potential that gun violence seems to be at the forefront of the man’s mind, given his fabricated allegations.
Several days ago, a neighbor recognized the man in her parents’ neighborhood. He stalked the house, and even tried to run down Caitlin’s father with his vehicle. He told the police he felt threatened.
Yesterday, on International Women’s Day, U.S. Marshalls waited until the girl’s parents had left for work to storm their house, breaking down the door in full riot gear and reminiscent of Janet Reno-ordered FBI raid on Elian Gonzales…only this time, in pursuit of a three-year old girl and her mother fleeing from their psychological, physical and sexual abuser. In the melee, Caitlin strove to reassure her daughter she would “be right there” as she cried out “I love you more, Mama!” and the U.S. Marshalls threatened and cuffed Caitlin, her younger brother and her best friend.
As I write this, the girl’s daughter is in the hands of the man that abused her and the grandmother who facilitated that abuse.
Caitlin was sent to the Hillsborough County jail charged with “denying parental rights” a.k.a. “parental alienation” and a $100,000.00 bail –ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS, extradited to California, spent three weeks in Sacramento County Jail. Caitlin’s lawyer is preparing for her arraignment and hearings until her main trial. She then needs to find a family law lawyer to help her get custody. Her father quit his job to be here to help her, to find lawyers, fight the court system, and ultimately, try to get Bella out of a terrible situation and get custody. There is a long battle ahead. First, fighting the criminal charges.... so far they have spent $85,000. Her parents took money out of a 401K. Her dad is heading back to Florida this week to put his house on the market.
Caitlin and Bella need your help. The upcoming legal battles will be close to $200,000. Caitlin is smart and independent. She is an amazing mother and determined to support her self and her daughter. Before this all happened, Caitlin was in a Nursing program, and creating a future with Bella. The dream of being able to raise one’s daughter in the safest and most advantageous country in the world for women has vanished for this girl and her daughter – their worst nightmare has come true. Any amount of donation will help!
This day, Caitlin sat in a county jail in Florida having had U.S. Marshalls break down her parents’ door and forcibly remove her three-year-old daughter, in order to return her to the abusive man and his complicit mother from whom she had sought refuge. Her crime? Fleeing the State of California when she learned her daughter was being touched in an inappropriate and sexual manner during her one-day per week visitations with her father. It was the last thing Caitlin could think to do to keep Bella and herself safe.
She had tried following the law. After the last time, when he grabbed her by the throat and threw her against a wall, she knew she had to leave or he would surely kill her. With Caitlin gone, who would protect her daughter? The rural Sacramento area police had told her to barricade herself in her room and to call if the man attacked her again. With ringing ears and a splitting headache from where her head had struck the wall, she packed a bag for herself and her daughter, as the police finally arrived on the scene. Caitlin took her daughter and left the apartment where she was the primary lease-holder. She no longer had a car of her own, as this man had wrecked it and then taken her insurance money to get himself another one. She had no money…not even the food stamps and WIC entitlements she received for herself and her daughter for being low-income – he and his mother routinely confiscated those, too.
The man had threatened to harm her many times before, and had been true to his word to varying degrees of severity. If she disobeyed or questioned him, there were repercussions. The man’s mother (who shared the apartment) acknowledged, tolerated and enabled the man’s behavior, cautioning Caitlin to “not upset him. “His father had abused them both, which was detailed in sealed California court records. Privately, the man’s mother also admitted to her that she had hoped the man “would grow out of it, like [his father] had” after their divorce, and that she should have gotten the man counseling when he was younger. The mother put him in Martial Arts, but rather than giving him an outlet for his anger, it instead made the man into a weapon.
With few exceptions, Caitlin had complied with the man’s rules, initially because she felt compassion for the man due to his abusive upbringing, but later because she increasingly feared for her daughter and her lives. One such exception were the times he would try to get her to breastfeed her daughter while he attempted to have “romantic” sex with her. She was abused for refusing.
No matter how hard she tried, it seemed nothing she did pleased the man. The man escalated into using abusive language towards her and her daughter, forcing her to perform oral “acts of contrition” on him with their daughter present in the same room, and smacking her and using his superior strength and training to swing her around by her hair whenever she would try to resist. The man was sexually violent.
Worse, his threats of violence increased and took shape against those whom she cared most about – her daughter and her animals. Having already killed her cat, the man began to kick her dog in its’ stomach and cause it injury whenever it crossed his path, as he knew it pained her and undermined the girl’s self-confidence. Witnessing the man’s bullying fits of anger shifting to another target, and wondering how much time she had before he turned on her and her daughter, the girl began to doubt her ability to protect herself and her daughter. After all, she had thus far been unable to protect other defenseless creatures from his unpredictable mood swings and rage. It was time to seek help from her family and friends.
Caitlin video called her father for help. Having overheard enough of the conversation, the man flew into a rage, grabbed her by her neck and threw her against the wall, sending her phone flying. The man picked up the phone, stared into the camera menacingly at the girl’s father and with a cruel smirk, hung up the phone. The girl’s father contacted the police immediately and requested they dispatch a patrol to their apartment.
She hired an attorney and filed a Domestic Violence Restraining Order. The girl meticulously detailed the events of escalating violence and instability into the double-digits and with multiple eyewitness’ affidavits…including one from a court psychologist with whom she underwent evaluation to help understand why she (and other DV victims) stay in bad situations for so long.
The girl still tried to use the prescribed legal process. Yet, she could not seem to get her case heard. For months, the Sacramento Family Court system continued to kick the can down the road, rescheduling multiple times based on empty rhetoric -- “you have too many witnesses” and “our docket is too full today, you’ll have to come back” and “this is a two-day event” and “this should be a criminal case.”
This man and his mother -- with self-proclaimed significant ties in California – obtained an attorney and filed fraudulent motion after motion to drain her limited resources –
In the end, Caitlin’s lawyer received more than $32,000.00 for which he produced no measurable results – no DVRO, and no protection from harassment, abuse or violence for her and her daughter. She had provided all the documents and conducted the extra research herself. Her case was supposed to have been heard in August, then September, then October, then November…and then finally February. Without explanation, the appointment for February disappeared from the docket sometime in December…with no notification.
During this period, the man and his mother managed to get the very same Sacramento Family Law court system to order Caitlin to drive her daughter 800 miles round-trip every week for a one-day visit, with no support.
After several weeks of this visitation schedule (due to her case being delayed again and again) – and observed visitation only by the man’s mother, whom the Sacramento Family Court system had designated the supervisor for the man’s visits -- her daughter began to complain of pain in her private parts. Caitlin tried to get her in to a doctor who specialized in child abuse, but was not successful at doing so before having to take her to the next one-day weekly scheduled visit.
This was the final straw. Having no legal recourse via the California court system, no protection from law enforcement and no help from medical professionals, the girl fled California for Florida, where she had resided when her daughter was born, in hopes of finding safety and assistance from the Florida Child Protective Services and Domestic Violence Witness Protection program.
Within 24 hours of her arrival she and her daughter met with FloridaChild Protective Services, who opened an investigation immediately based on what they heard. Formal, follow-on assessment confirmedthe initial findings that Caitlin and her daughter have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of the man’s domestic violence. She and her daughter received counselors to help them begin to process the abuse they had experienced, and to simply try to sleep at night. She was able to get her daughter seen by doctors experienced with children of abuse, whom corroborated that her daughter had inappropriate sexual contact of some kind. Both the girl and her daughter attended counseling every single week from the time they arrived in Florida.
Caitlin found a good job that would train her and let her work from home, so she could be present for her daughter, who cried every time she left the room. As the weeks passed, her daughter’s discomfort in her private parts subsided, although she still did not want doctors (oranyone else) to touch her at all even just to examine her. Her daughter also continued to display odd, adult-like behaviors and comments, all of the girl documented and passed to her daughter’s counselor. Caitlin was on the verge of getting a subsidized apartment in an area with good pre-schools and schools, where she truly hoped they could begin anew.
The man proceeded to lie outright and claimed in legal motions that Caitlin had threatened him with a gun, and was a threat her daughter. She has never even held a gun, and the man’s long-standing status as a Karate brown belt and trained MMA fighter – who happens to also have a gun permit – such a claim is beyond ludicrous. More troublesome is the potential that gun violence seems to be at the forefront of the man’s mind, given his fabricated allegations.
Several days ago, a neighbor recognized the man in her parents’ neighborhood. He stalked the house, and even tried to run down Caitlin’s father with his vehicle. He told the police he felt threatened.
Yesterday, on International Women’s Day, U.S. Marshalls waited until the girl’s parents had left for work to storm their house, breaking down the door in full riot gear and reminiscent of Janet Reno-ordered FBI raid on Elian Gonzales…only this time, in pursuit of a three-year old girl and her mother fleeing from their psychological, physical and sexual abuser. In the melee, Caitlin strove to reassure her daughter she would “be right there” as she cried out “I love you more, Mama!” and the U.S. Marshalls threatened and cuffed Caitlin, her younger brother and her best friend.
As I write this, the girl’s daughter is in the hands of the man that abused her and the grandmother who facilitated that abuse.
Caitlin was sent to the Hillsborough County jail charged with “denying parental rights” a.k.a. “parental alienation” and a $100,000.00 bail –ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS, extradited to California, spent three weeks in Sacramento County Jail. Caitlin’s lawyer is preparing for her arraignment and hearings until her main trial. She then needs to find a family law lawyer to help her get custody. Her father quit his job to be here to help her, to find lawyers, fight the court system, and ultimately, try to get Bella out of a terrible situation and get custody. There is a long battle ahead. First, fighting the criminal charges.... so far they have spent $85,000. Her parents took money out of a 401K. Her dad is heading back to Florida this week to put his house on the market.
Caitlin and Bella need your help. The upcoming legal battles will be close to $200,000. Caitlin is smart and independent. She is an amazing mother and determined to support her self and her daughter. Before this all happened, Caitlin was in a Nursing program, and creating a future with Bella. The dream of being able to raise one’s daughter in the safest and most advantageous country in the world for women has vanished for this girl and her daughter – their worst nightmare has come true. Any amount of donation will help!