Help Big Brother Experience a Joyful Christmas

Jennifer Clark is organizing this fundraiser.

Donation protected

Hello Friends!

You might remember that 4 months ago I announced that my roommate's older bio brother had moved in with us. (Roommate is my longtime code for my adopted son who is now 11 years old.) These brothers were seperated by DCFS 8 years ago. It was an understandable move at the time, but I can tell how much they have missed and needed each other.

The big brother (name somewhat protected) had a legal guardian who passed away three years ago after a short battle with pancreatic cancer. Family members used social security survivor benefits to keep the big bro fed and clothed for the last three years, though he lived alone in the house from the time he was 16.

When he turned 18 and the social security ended, they contacted me to ask if I could help him get started in life. I agreed. He moved into our house in August 2024.

The big brother is a wonderful kid! He is smart, funny, helpful, politically charged and has that emotional intelligence that we are seeing emerge in GenZ. He is also the picture of a kid who has “fallen through the cracks.” He started high school remote in 2020 and because of the district he was in, he stayed in virtual school until just a month before his guardian passed. Then he was independent, with little adult supervision or expectation, until he miraculously managed to graduate in 2024. I don’t think the school ever knew his situation. His caretaker didn’t even have an email address so absolutely no one was communicating about him or advocating for him. I wish he could start high school all over again.

I want to respect his privacy and his story. So, I won’t say much more other than his physical, medical, phycological and intellectual needs are far greater than I ever expected. Because he is 18 years old and without biological or adoptive parents, he is considered an adult in the eyes of the State. Services and financial assistance that are available to foster children though age 21 are not available to him. I have secured the advise of a family attorney and I am planning to adopt next year. There are a lot of things that could have and should have been done differently three years ago, but here we are.

I have secured his Medicaid and we completed the application for SNAP benefits which will help a lot. (What they say about the eating habits of teen boys is true!) He is set up with a doctor and dentist through the incomparable Howard Brown Health. I got him eyeglasses for the first time in 5 years so he isn't pretending to see in the distance. I also was able to get him accepted to the Northwestern University Family Institute for talk therapy through May – he loves it and it’s free! He applied and was accepted to college but decided to wait until he is truly ready. He is applying for part-time jobs and doing an "internship" for me at Loyola to gain workplace experience. I made sure that he registered and voted in his first presidentail election. Every night we eat together as a family and either play an educational board game, help little bro with his homework, or work on a set of workbooks I got called “The Degree Free Way: Helping Your 16-20 y.o. Build A Life.” I feel like we are making great progress as a family and having a great time doing it.

I am not looking for accolades. Please don’t. I feel like my whole life has prepared me to do this and I know that it is God’s will. If you don’t know, I had experience as a teacher, community organizer and advocate long before I ever got trained to parent traumatized children. I have called upon people and organizations and knowledge that I acquired over decades to be able to do this well. I am not some perfect person, but I am the perfect person for this child and his needs in this moment. It just is what it is. Don't pat me on the back. I'm just an alternative mom, all moms would do the same.

So many of you have asked about and offered help. Here is the thing, I am giving literally everything that I and the roommate have financially and emotionally to get him to where he should be. I am using the roommate's college fund to pay for bills that either increased exponentially or were completely unexpected. I am also trying to maintain our awesome quality of life and offer it to the big bro too - - I got him a bicycle since it is our family’s passion, we took him with us on a previously planned trip to Colorado and he declared a love of hiking and I am trying to indulge his desire to try every ethnic cuisine in the known universe. He never had even the simplest opportunities most middle-class kids have; he had never ridden a bike, had never been on a plane, and had never tried sushi.

If you still want to help, I do need it now. Please help me give him a great Christmas!

He can’t remember the last time he had a Christmas tree. His annual Christmas gift for the last 8 years was a black Friday shopping trip where he was allowed to get one expensive item like a Nintendo Switch. There is nothing wrong with that tradition, it was perfect for its time. But I want him to experience a Clark-family Christmas morning with a dozen wrapped surprises under a glowing tree. And I want to do all of the activities from the Goodman Christmas Carol to the Music Box Holiday double-feature to ZooLights to the Hip Hop Nutcracker.

I have been building an Amazon wish list for the last few months. It is nothing that he has asked for. He hasn’t asked for a thing! I have been listening and watching. I learned his favorite brands and his favorite musician and his favorite tv shows. I want Santa to bring him some surprises that are not just necessities.

If you normally give to charity at the holidays or "adopt" a family at work/church, I am asking you to please consider giving directly to the Big Brother. Be his secret Santa. I will be extremely grateful. You are a wonderful village and together we will pull this young man up and get him started on what I know will be a successful and important life. Please share this as well with anyone you think might be interested. I have a small social media footprint so anyone with a wider reach could help by forwarding this.

Here is the LINK TO THE WISHLIST . Everything you purchase should be sent to me and I will help the elves wrap it and put it under the tree. If you'd rather give cash, I am saving up to get him a full neuropsych exam to test for ADHD/ASD/LD but it's nearly impossible to find a medicaid provider for an adult. The cash-pay cost is $3,000.

Thank you so much for reading this far. I am glad you are invested in our story even if you can't make a donation. Happy Holidays to you and yours!

Jennifer

(Here's a pic of my two boys in august with me, and