My father never played guitar, in fact, he pronounced it "gee-tar", but what i wouldnt give to hear him say that word again, or just to ask me if im okay. I want my guitar back. Simple as that. Maybe I dont deserve it or maybe I should've been better at keeping it or looking for another job, but my father passed away a year ago and I have been having a very hard time dealing with it. I held down a job for most of the time but since losing the job two months ago, its come down to a matter of survival. I live in Louisiana and my dad was everything to me, im now without a home, 33yrs old, capable of working, yet unable to locate any employment opportunities these last two months. I pawned my guitar so I could keep my phone on and my insurance on my truck while I search for employment. I probably dont deserve any help, after all, everyone has it rough these days, but with my dad gone, I dont have anyone to turn to when I dont know what to do. I shouldn't have pawned it but the money went towards simply staying capable of feeding myself and staying with my head above water. For a bit of context:

My late dad had married not too long before passing, and his widow is now attempting to take what he left me, having forged the title to my father's truck, and then renting out the property in my name without my consent and profiting off of it while I've struggled. I am very upset with the whole situation and I dont even want material things, I want my dad to be here. Since thats impossible, I would like his wishes and legacy respected, but as I have no money to fight it legally or even consider hiring an attorney, I dont see things going how my father intended, as his widow decided that 30+ yrs of being by his side is nothing compared to one year and a greedy self centered desire for money. I cant win, even though right is right and wrong is wrong, that doesnt matter in our justice system as much as who has deeper pockets. With all that being said, I wanna be a man dad would be proud of and I dont want help with the lawsuit or the theft and desecration of my late father's wishes, I simply want my guitar he got me back, thats all. I admit it is absolutely my fault for it being gone, not his greedy widow thats blatantly abusing her fiduciary responsibilities and taking advantage of a grieving family, but my fault alone. I regret the decision and even though the few hundred has kept me alive, i feel a hole getting bigger and bigger inside me the closer i get to losing it. I just want it back, it was from the only person whos ever loved me like the way my father did, and it breaks my heart that its the onky thing of value i had that could pay my phone and also insurance while still paying for food off a pawn and not a sale, as i did it reluctantly with the hopes i could find a job in time and retrieve it with interest. But im scared to lose it, and i need it back, and would do literally anything possible to get it, even something embarrasing to me like asking for public help getting it. Not another one, or a similar one, I want THE guitar he got me before the pawn shop screws me over my phone bill and desperation driving me to make a severe mistake. I miss him. Maybe I shouldn't cling to material things that remind me of him, however I cant help it. Its been a year and he's all I think of and the thought of wondering if he'd be proud of me. Please help me get my guitar back, cause I will never again have what I truly want in this life, which is another second or two to tell dad I love and miss him. Thank you for reading, if anything, I appreciate the time of anyone who cares to read this plea for help. Sincerely, Austin, son of Michael John Stelly, the kindest and most gentle sincere and loving person to ever walk this earth with me.

Also, I'll end it on this, the reason I am 30+ and in this situation is because I used to be an addict, and made poor choices until 2 yrs before dad passing. He tried and tried to help me through my addiction but it wasnt until late 2021 that I decided enough was enough. Im not asking for pity because I feel doing heroin was a concious decision I made every day for years, and it was when I had enough that I quit. I dont deserve sympathy or any praise for stopping and all, im just grateful I got to show my dad I would be forever clean before he died. My true goal, however, I fell short of, as it wasnt just to be off drugs like ive been since then, but I wanted him to see me proud of myself for once. Im still working on that and staying in the right when it comes to acting grown and making adult decisions, but im far from proud atm with the remorse for sinking so low as to pawn the one valuable thing I had and cherish above all else, even my truck. I hope you have a blessed day, whoever you are if you read this far, ill stop rambling, im just nervous and dont know how youre supposed to do this sort of thing or ask for help. Dad was the only person who ever helped me so its odd to me to reach out to anyone, much less strangers, now that hes gone.