Our story is long and complicated full of love, heart break, grief and advocacy. Mike and I met in December 2016 when we both swiped right. Me, because I thought he looked familiar and him because of my unwavering beauty ;). We went out on our first date and I remember telling my best friend Amy that I would go out with him again because I like him enough and he had a cat! 2 weeks later I spent 2 days at his family’s house over Christmas and the rest is history. We got engaged in August 2018, got married in October 2019 and started to try for a family right away. (No one was getting any younger). Months went by, COVID hit and still no BFP (Big Fat Positive) pregnancy test. Until finally a day after Mike’s Birthday in August 2020. I took a test and IT WAS POSITIVE! We were going to have an April baby and that sounded great to us!

We were excited, nervous and began planning for the future. All that came crashing down on August 26, 2020 at my dating ultrasound. Due to COVID precautions I had to attend alone, and Mike patiently waited in the car. I was experiencing some pretty serious morning sickness and was feeling pretty rough at the clinic. As the tech started a scan she asked for the 3rd time how many weeks pregnant I was (I told her again 7 weeks, 6 days) and when my last cycle was (July 1). She then let me know that the wee fetus was measuring at 6 weeks 4 days. My heart dropped. I knew a week and half difference was not good. I did see the little heart beat flutter but left the scan feeling defeated, terrified and sad. I later found out that the fetal heart rate was 78 beats a minute which meant it would not be compatible with life.

Fast forward to a week later when I went for another scan this time the fetus was measuring 6 weeks 2 days and no longer had a heartbeat. Our baby had died. We made the decision to wait over the weekend to see what my body would do and by Tuesday, nothing. In consultation with my doctor we decided I would take a medication to make my body miscarry the pregnancy. Unfortunately this did not go smoothly. It ended up with a 2:00am ambulance call and scaring the poop out of husband. You can read more about my experience here: Our Miscarriage Story /. If sharing my story can help even one person, it is worth it.

We decided we would try again, I mean we got pregnant once surely we could do it again and it would work out different right? Or so we thought. I got pregnant again in February 2021. I got a very early faint BFP. It was exciting, this time an October baby due on my Dad’s birthday. Amazing. Until 5 days later when I decided to take another pregnancy test and it was negative. I sent an urgent request to my doctor for bloodwork and found out the next morning my HCG level was 4, which meant my body was pregnant but I was miscarrying again. I was mad, disappointed, upset and emotional. This time I cried…and hard. Mike was supportive, comforting and my rock. This time the loss warranted a referral the fertility clinic.

Fast forward to now, there is nothing physiologically wrong with either Mike or I. No one can explain why we have trouble getting pregnant and staying pregnant. We decided based on my previous experience with miscarrying, invasive fertility treatments weren’t for us.

Now is where we need your help! Adoption was ALWAYS on the table for us. It is something I was SUPER passionate about and really wanted to go through the process and provide a little one with a loving, supportive home. Our plan was to have a baby and then add to our family with adoption. Now we have skipped ahead and are perusing an international adoption of a baby from the Bulgaria. If you would like to hear why we have decided to go with this country, we would be happy to share! Please contact us we will tell you more about what impacted our decision.

International adoption is expensive! And we are reaching out to anyone that wants to support our cause. We will also be sharing our experience through a Facebook group to allow others to gain awareness and information about the process of adopting from another country.

A small breakdown of our costs are below

Adopt Ready (PRIDE course, Social worker/Home Study fees) - $5000

Adoption Fees (Canada and Bulgaria) - $20000

Travel (We will likely travel twice) - $7000

 

A $20 donation will buy us a meal when we travel. A $50 donation will assist with increased travel costs of traveling with an infant. A $100 donation will pay for 1 night of accommodation in Bulgaria. $1000 will pay for a return plane ticket to Ukraine.

We are prepared to pay these costs to bring home a sweet baby to be a member of our family however, we are looking for to our family and community for help. Any additional support we receive will help  alleviate the financial burden on us. We have a lot of love to give a little baby and just need to little help to make it happen.

We are forever grateful for any support anyone is willing to provide. This includes financial, good karma, thoughts and love. We are also happy to share our story and experience with others once this process is complete.

With Love,

Ashley and Mike