As many of you know, my brother Andrew Miller has had over a year from hell.
Here’s the sad story so far…
After Andrew had had a very short relationship in England with a woman who was a friend of mine for three years in Newquay, she turned up to our winter break in Mexico and fell pregnant within two weeks. She told Andrew the baby was his. Although they were not together for more than a few months in total, Andrew morally wanted her to have the baby but told her he would support any decision she made. The mother made three private abortion appointments (which Andrew paid for) but did not go through with any of them. We were ready to welcome her into the family and already had a great relationship with her beautiful little boy. Our mum and I had even agreed to her request to be her son's guardians in the event of her death.
Sadly Andrew then went on to have an extremely difficult relationship with this woman and things have gotten steadily worse.
Although Andrew begged the mother to consider a birth in Europe, instead she flew off to Mexico to have the baby. Andrew wants to be heavily involved in his first baby’s life and desperately wanted to be there for the birth. The mother promised Andrew that if he gave her some space he would be welcomed at the birth and they could make an arrangement for visits moving forward. Unfortunately we have learned that she is not a woman of her word.
She left England and moved to a village in Mexico called Chacala when she was six months pregnant. She tried to convince Andrew to go with her but he thought their toxic relationship would be detrimental to the children’s wellbeing and told her that he would travel to Mexico a little closer to the birth. During the few months that the mother was in Chacala alone she managed to spread poisonous lies about Andrew throughout the town. When Andrew arrived 6 weeks before the birth, he was met with hostility from 95% of the expat community and complete silence from the mother.
Although dealing with hostile and judgmental behaviour from many of the expats, plus the silent treatment from the mother, Andrew was excitedly awaiting the birth of his first baby - unfortunately the mother decided not to tell Andrew when the baby was born and he didn’t find out about the birth for 3 days and only via a friend of the mother (she and her family claimed they had made numerous attempts to phone Andrew, something his telephone company has now confirmed was a lie). It now turns out they were waiting to register the birth before telling Andrew about it so that he would not have a chance to be added to the birth certificate. She ultimately registered as a single mother, chose the baby’s names and surnames, and left the section about the father blank. We have had reports that this is also what she did to the father of her 4 year old son who has also been denied access to his child.
Within the first week of Andrew’s daughter’s life, the mother allowed him 3 x 30-minute supervised visits. These visits were on the mother's terms, with a friend of hers supervising, and were mainly out of town. The mother then decided she would no longer let him see his baby. Andrew has had to endure seeing his child from afar in Chacala, unable to approach her without hysteria from the mother. My husband and I travelled to Chacala this winter to meet our first niece but when we approached her on the beach the mother would not even show us the baby’s face. This is after I had been a good friend to her for three years and helped her raise her son from newborn.
As Andrew was purposefully not put on his daughter’s birth certificate he currently has no rights under Mexican law. This has forced him to have to employ a Mexican lawyer to work on getting a DNA test to prove paternity. The mother is now claiming that Andrew is not the father and that they never had a relationship of any kind. By saying this, the court will not grant Andrew interim visitation with his daughter while the case for a DNA test drags on. It is clear that the mother's intentions are to delay proceedings as much as possible, meaning this could drag on indefinitely and all the while Andrew is being denied the chance to bond with his daughter and watch her grow. However, Andrew has made it clear that he will never abandon his child, no matter how long it takes.
Let me tell those of you that don’t know him what Andrew is like:
Andrew Miller is a legend! He is hilarious, silly and witty! He has travelled the world and, until now, has never met a person he didn’t get along with. Andrew has the highest IQ of anyone I know and he is a member of MENSA, yet sometimes his dippy lack of common sense is astonishing and so, so funny! He is the life and soul of any party, he loves health and fitness and is a keen yogi, meditator and animal lover. He is also great with children and has volunteered with underprivileged kids in numerous countries. Ask anyone who knows him what they think and it will be a resounding thumbs up every time! He is genuinely the most likeable guy there is.
It has come to light from people in the mother's past that she has a troubling history of erratic and manipulative behaviour, which has led to her moving around a lot. We are trying not to judge her too harshly because we are not clear on exactly what she is struggling with but it is clear she has certain issues and we would love to help if we could for the sake of all concerned but she appears to want no contact whatsoever.
We have started this page because it looks to be a long and ugly battle through the Mexican courts but we are firm in our stance that we will never give up on the newest member of our family, no matter what it takes. We have started the page because many of Andrew’s friends and family have come forward to say they want to contribute to the cause. We also want to highlight the plight of men denied the rights of access to their own children.
If you can contribute to the fund to help Andrew with his legal fees in Mexico, we would be so grateful. If you are unable to contribute financially then words of support are also gratefully received!
Thank you so much for listening : )
- Carly Morgan
- Anne Swart
- Clive Titmuss
- jen gardner
- Colin x
Organizer and beneficiary
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