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Alora life update
TLDR; I need help. I ask when I absolutely need it, and this is one of those times.
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this past month has been the most difficult time of my life and it was mainly due to the fact that for the first time in my 24 years i finally confronted toxic parts of myself that i held on to from my time surviving in Missouri. i spent the last year and a half here in San Francisco & Oakland running away from facing myself because i really tried convincing myself and everyone else that i was okay. i really fucking wasn’t.
my old habits have consistently been catching up to me since moving here, and because of an incident that went down at the beginning of April, i spent the last four weeks spiraling with my mental health and hurting some of the most important people in my life. my wake up call was realizing that i’ve finally found a chosen family of people, and a community, who love me so much and so deeply that they were willing to hold me accountable for my toxic shit and actually want to see me change and heal. after confronting the things that i did and the people that i hurt, including confronting myself, i’ve been grinding and putting in work to begin this journey of actually fucking healing for myself and for those that i love.
May 1st was the beginning of this process (because i love a clean start) and since then i’ve been able to accomplish the following:
* I began therapy on the first and had my second session yesterday. My therapist is absolutely incredible.
* I secured the job I’ve been trying for, for the last month, at a collective owned cafe in Berkeley, AND just interviewed (and killedddd it) for a job at the San Francisco Department of Public Health.
* I got back on my hormones after being off of them for almost a month and a half, and even met my new doctor who gave me a 3 month supply that way I don’t fall off of them again.
* AND THE CHERRY ON TOP - after searching for WEEKS I’ve finally found housing!!!!!! I have the honor of moving into a beautiful home with some elder queers in their late 30s-40s and this home looks like it’s going to be the one I settle into for at least 2-3 years. This is where I need y’alls help.
I’m able to afford the move in costs for my new housing, which will be every penny that I have but will let me move in mid May. What I can’t afford right now is first months rent and deposit because my (potential) two jobs don’t start soon enough for me to work and save any income to pay for those things.
In my times of desperation and need, and living in the bay, I’ve learned that I need to put my anxieties and traumas around asking for help to the side, and ask for help.
I’m asking my community, near and far, for assistance in raising funds so I can finally find some security after months of being unemployed and barely making it with freelance and side work. I really feel like this time in my life is the transformation I’ve been needing and now that I’ve survived the chaos of this last month, I’m ready to finally get myself back on track and begin to heal.
I’m asking for help to raise $1500 for my housing which will cover both the deposit and rent, and I’m really just laying everything down because I’m really so desperate for this change. I’ve never been surrounded by this much love in my life before and the bay truly is my home. My soul needs to be here and I need to heal here.
Literally anything helps.
Thank y’all so much for constantly supporting and loving me and witnessing me on this journey of life. I’ve never wanted to fight for something this hard before but I am so willing to fight for my place in this world, I just need some help.
Forever and always love,
Alora
TLDR; I need help. I ask when I absolutely need it, and this is one of those times.
-
this past month has been the most difficult time of my life and it was mainly due to the fact that for the first time in my 24 years i finally confronted toxic parts of myself that i held on to from my time surviving in Missouri. i spent the last year and a half here in San Francisco & Oakland running away from facing myself because i really tried convincing myself and everyone else that i was okay. i really fucking wasn’t.
my old habits have consistently been catching up to me since moving here, and because of an incident that went down at the beginning of April, i spent the last four weeks spiraling with my mental health and hurting some of the most important people in my life. my wake up call was realizing that i’ve finally found a chosen family of people, and a community, who love me so much and so deeply that they were willing to hold me accountable for my toxic shit and actually want to see me change and heal. after confronting the things that i did and the people that i hurt, including confronting myself, i’ve been grinding and putting in work to begin this journey of actually fucking healing for myself and for those that i love.
May 1st was the beginning of this process (because i love a clean start) and since then i’ve been able to accomplish the following:
* I began therapy on the first and had my second session yesterday. My therapist is absolutely incredible.
* I secured the job I’ve been trying for, for the last month, at a collective owned cafe in Berkeley, AND just interviewed (and killedddd it) for a job at the San Francisco Department of Public Health.
* I got back on my hormones after being off of them for almost a month and a half, and even met my new doctor who gave me a 3 month supply that way I don’t fall off of them again.
* AND THE CHERRY ON TOP - after searching for WEEKS I’ve finally found housing!!!!!! I have the honor of moving into a beautiful home with some elder queers in their late 30s-40s and this home looks like it’s going to be the one I settle into for at least 2-3 years. This is where I need y’alls help.
I’m able to afford the move in costs for my new housing, which will be every penny that I have but will let me move in mid May. What I can’t afford right now is first months rent and deposit because my (potential) two jobs don’t start soon enough for me to work and save any income to pay for those things.
In my times of desperation and need, and living in the bay, I’ve learned that I need to put my anxieties and traumas around asking for help to the side, and ask for help.
I’m asking my community, near and far, for assistance in raising funds so I can finally find some security after months of being unemployed and barely making it with freelance and side work. I really feel like this time in my life is the transformation I’ve been needing and now that I’ve survived the chaos of this last month, I’m ready to finally get myself back on track and begin to heal.
I’m asking for help to raise $1500 for my housing which will cover both the deposit and rent, and I’m really just laying everything down because I’m really so desperate for this change. I’ve never been surrounded by this much love in my life before and the bay truly is my home. My soul needs to be here and I need to heal here.
Literally anything helps.
Thank y’all so much for constantly supporting and loving me and witnessing me on this journey of life. I’ve never wanted to fight for something this hard before but I am so willing to fight for my place in this world, I just need some help.
Forever and always love,
Alora