Hi,

I'm Kai (they/them) I am a nonbinary, queer, neurodivergent and mentally ill young adult. I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and PTSD (which I think is now CPTSD) since I was 13.

My parents are both immigrants born in the 60s and are homophobic, transphobic, ableist and do not believe mental illness is real. The only reason I was able to get diagnosed was because I was in and out of the ER for suicidal thoughts.

From there my journey to recovery has been hard, my parents pulled me out of therapy because they "didn't like that I was talking about my problems to outsiders", they did not support the fact that I was on medication so they withheld my prescription from me for years.

I thought that when I got older things would get better but I still have to secretly pay for all of my medication and see doctors without them knowing (I'm also financially supporting myself and I don't have insurance) I'm not out to my parents as queer and nonbinary because I fear for my safety. I am afab and the one time I decided to cut all my hair off my mom cried, ignored me and refused to talk to me. It's painful having to pretend to be someone I'm not in my own home just to maintain the peace.

Things have only gotten worse, even though I am an adult my mom does not respect boundaries, she is constantly shaming me for my weight, body-checking me, she goes through all of my things when I'm not home, rearranging my room, throwing things out without asking me. It's gotten so bad that I'm scared to leave my house because I'm afraid of what she will do when I'm gone. When I am home I'm walking on eggshells to try and avoid her.

I've been saving up to move out but I can't live in the same city as my parents because, from my past experiences living in a different city for school, my mom copied my house and room keys and would visit me every weekend to check on me. The city I want to live in is far enough from her that she won't be able to come and check on me regularly, I also have friends and a community in the city I want to live in and opportunities I can pursue relating to my dream career.

The only obstacle is that the city I want to live in is just out of reach for me financially and no matter how much I budget I won't be able to move out until at least a few years from now. This fundraiser would at least cover the first and last month's rent. My mental health has deteriorated so much living with my parents to the point where I fear for my safety and my life. I want to live and heal but I have to get out of my abusive household to do that.

I know finances are tough for a lot of people so even sharing this is appreciated.

This is my last resort to save myself.