Help a Disabled Trans Person Move to a Safer Home

It's a really tough time to be a trans person in America, let alone a disabled trans person living in a harmful situation and unable to afford to move. My friend M is in need of mutual aid in the form of financial support and driving lessons in order to leave their abusive household. We're crowdfunding $6000 and asking for help in finding someone to teach them to drive, so they can ultimately afford to move out of their current housing situation and into a safer one.

M and I have been friends for just over 6 months. While we mostly interact in online spaces, we've recently begun spending time together in person because of the accessibility created by Seattle COVID-cautious events! Unfortunately, due to the nature of M's disabilities and the inaccessibility of the world we live in, many jobs, in person events, and other spaces are inaccessible to him. This is one of the many reasons securing a new home for M to live independently is crucial, considering his immunocompromised status and his family’s lack of full support for his COVID precautions and disabling chronic illness.

At the moment, M lives too far out of the city to easily transit to COVID-cautious events, accessible job opportunities, and various forms of community that nurture them. M is currently too sick to work a job, and they are at high risk for complications happening following another COVID infection. M is 20 years old, queer, trans, autistic, ADHD, traumatized, multiply disabled, and currently living on Duwamish lands commonly known as “Seattle.” M lives with over 20 different diagnosed chronic illnesses and disabilities, but the most impactful ones include ME/CFS, a nightmare disorder, chronic pain, autism, ADHD, and ongoing trauma.

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), also sometimes called “chronic fatigue syndrome,” is a debilitating post-viral condition that affects all body systems and results in feelings of extreme unwellness, called post-exertional malaise (PEM), after normal levels of exertion. M’s struggles with ME have significantly progressed over the past 5 years, resulting in debilitating fatigue and physical pain, as well as many more complex symptomologies.

People with ME are consistently denied adequate medical care, and many of us push ourselves to the point of collapse, which can lead to a dangerous permanent reduction in our baseline functioning. Some folks push too hard (because they have to in order to survive) and end up bedbound, unable to care for themselves.

The awareness hashtag for ME/CFS is #MillionsMissing, due to the millions of people living with ME who have dropped out of jobs, school programs, hobbies, graduations, big life events, and the greater social context of their lives because of their illness. Getting M out of their current housing situation and into a new home closer to the city where they can build community and a safer space for themself, as well as offering financial independence through crowdfunding, will help M avoid this too-often-repeated narrative of people with ME.

M is too traumatized to go into much detail about their current housing situation, but one thing that makes their situation unbearable is their family’s inability to form acceptance and consideration around M’s disability and chronic illness.

M also suffers from a nightmare disorder which means that his nightmare of a life doesn’t end when he goes to sleep at night. Because of the trauma they’ve lived through, they now have a dissociative disorder known as DPDR which makes their everyday reality feel just like a continuation of the nightmares they experience while they sleep.

They have a dearly loved cat named Shaggy who has been one of the few reasons they are still alive today. M’s physical pain and fatigue has been so impactful that they can barely shower once a month and often wait too long to use the bathroom and make meals. They can’t afford takeout and most of the time are unable to cook, so they must rely on microwaveable means. They often can only leave the house to socialize once a week, and even then, that is too much.

Despite being too sick to do these basic things, they still do everything they can to care for their cat, the kind people in their life, and contribute to mutual aid efforts. In addition to being an advocate for COVID-caution, M has been a caretaker for a family member, as well as an organizer with the Seattle Dyke Alliance, fighting to improve COVID precautions in queer spaces and create more events that are accessible for immunocompromised folks. M shows up for his community – can we show up for them?

Get to know M! A few of their interests include: cats, hairdressing, tropical (house)plants, crystals, gems, minerals, rocks, bones, fossils, making mask chains, painting protest signs, pressing, drying, and framing plants and flowers, self improvement, mutual aid, minority advocacy, and COVID safety.

This past year, M has become too sick to be able to do much of these things. Moving out would give M the opportunity to heal from parts of the painful reality they’re currently living. If M can move out and heal enough to get their baseline back to a healthier level, they would be able to work a job, at least part-time.

We are aiming to crowdfund $6000 as soon as possible to help M secure a place of his own, where they can be not only physically and emotionally safe, but supported, loved, and able to grow. The funds will go towards helping M secure a new home, meet basic needs during the move, and give him a bit of wiggle room to cushion the transition out of his current housing situation.

M needs us – let’s show up for him like he’s shown up for us and show them that they matter and are worthy of support, no matter how hard it is to ask for it! No amount of support (financial or otherwise) is too small. Thank you in advance <3

- R