Harassment via the Courts- Protecting my daughter
Donation protected
Hello, I am currently a mother of 2. Married to a Retired US Army Combat Medic. I work for a school district in Oregon. BUT I was once a stupid 20-year-old girl who married a man I met only twice, eloped and had a daughter with. Turns out he was a mentally abusive, narcissistic person. Spent 5 years in a battered relationship, attempting to divorce though was threatened with hell if I ever did so. Well, I finally drew up the courage to tell him I wanted a divorce when he was thousands of miles away (and couldn’t physically stop me this time) and I took action from that point on to show him I was serious, that no threat he could tell me would cause me to back down out of fear from his gaslighting.
He made due on his threats and put me through hell throughout the two yearlong divorce trial. I racked up thousands of dollars in legal fees to fight to remain the main parent in my daughter’s life (he had family financially support him while I worked hard, battling the consequences of my own horrible choices, not wanting to ask anyone for help). At that time, it was 2013, so I was willing to allow the typical every other weekend visitation with holidays and summers, but then in 2014, things changed dramatically. He made some horrific choices of his own and now [public records ], till this day, I am fighting to protect my daughter as well as my immediate family from this man who continues to harass us via the court system, harasses my husband privately, and stalk our social media pages. Since the beginning, God has managed to provide for us financially (I work hard with my own business, my job with Oregon, and other extra freelance work I can find).
But now, all these years of constant lawsuit after lawsuit, motion after motion, him harassing us via the courts, I am running dry, tired and needing to finally humble myself before my friends and family, asking for anything they can spare to help my family as we continue to battle this unstable man who refuses to accept what the courts have told him. The fact the courts allow his harassment (which is illegal if confirmed) is mind blowing and something I am pursuing—but it costs money…. Everything cost money, but fighting for my daughter is something I have and will always do with every ounce of my being.
Many of you know me well, you know the journey I’ve been on- the realities, the growth, the growing pains. But having to live with this constant threat is starting to affect us. We fear for our lives. He harasses us with a fake phone number using a app that is not traceable. Sends threatening texts of harm to our family (specifically our first born son). We have filed a police report, but because it’s an app, we cannot prove it’s him. The system is so backwards in so many ways, it’s concerning. I HATE having to start one of these myself, but I fear my funds will run dry soon.
I got myself in his stupid situation of dealing with a crazy ex, so it kills me having to start this, but my pride is set aside this time and I’m asking because my children, my husband, our family doesn’t deserve to have to live every day, worrying about our legal bills (and covering the court ordered legal fees the ex continues to avoid paying & 5K in back child support). We don’t own a home because of this. We don’t enjoy many things that other families enjoy because we have to keep any extra money we have set aside for these legal attacks (If you’re wondering how he can keep affording filing motion after motion, he represents himself because he lives near the courthouse where our parenting plan currently resides – another thing that costs money to change/transfer – because we live in Oregon for over 6 years now). And apparently he has plenty of time on his hands.
It’s draining. Having to write this is draining. IF you feel called to give, thank you. If you cannot, please pray that someday God will deliver me from one of the biggest detours I’ve ever taken off the path God has called me on.
*I cannot add pictures of my daughter due to my ex stalking me and running across this page to attempt to slander me some more. I will protect her and my family. Current image is an old one but a personal favorite.
i have documented a lot so email me privately to ask further questions.
He made due on his threats and put me through hell throughout the two yearlong divorce trial. I racked up thousands of dollars in legal fees to fight to remain the main parent in my daughter’s life (he had family financially support him while I worked hard, battling the consequences of my own horrible choices, not wanting to ask anyone for help). At that time, it was 2013, so I was willing to allow the typical every other weekend visitation with holidays and summers, but then in 2014, things changed dramatically. He made some horrific choices of his own and now [public records ], till this day, I am fighting to protect my daughter as well as my immediate family from this man who continues to harass us via the court system, harasses my husband privately, and stalk our social media pages. Since the beginning, God has managed to provide for us financially (I work hard with my own business, my job with Oregon, and other extra freelance work I can find).
But now, all these years of constant lawsuit after lawsuit, motion after motion, him harassing us via the courts, I am running dry, tired and needing to finally humble myself before my friends and family, asking for anything they can spare to help my family as we continue to battle this unstable man who refuses to accept what the courts have told him. The fact the courts allow his harassment (which is illegal if confirmed) is mind blowing and something I am pursuing—but it costs money…. Everything cost money, but fighting for my daughter is something I have and will always do with every ounce of my being.
Many of you know me well, you know the journey I’ve been on- the realities, the growth, the growing pains. But having to live with this constant threat is starting to affect us. We fear for our lives. He harasses us with a fake phone number using a app that is not traceable. Sends threatening texts of harm to our family (specifically our first born son). We have filed a police report, but because it’s an app, we cannot prove it’s him. The system is so backwards in so many ways, it’s concerning. I HATE having to start one of these myself, but I fear my funds will run dry soon.
I got myself in his stupid situation of dealing with a crazy ex, so it kills me having to start this, but my pride is set aside this time and I’m asking because my children, my husband, our family doesn’t deserve to have to live every day, worrying about our legal bills (and covering the court ordered legal fees the ex continues to avoid paying & 5K in back child support). We don’t own a home because of this. We don’t enjoy many things that other families enjoy because we have to keep any extra money we have set aside for these legal attacks (If you’re wondering how he can keep affording filing motion after motion, he represents himself because he lives near the courthouse where our parenting plan currently resides – another thing that costs money to change/transfer – because we live in Oregon for over 6 years now). And apparently he has plenty of time on his hands.
It’s draining. Having to write this is draining. IF you feel called to give, thank you. If you cannot, please pray that someday God will deliver me from one of the biggest detours I’ve ever taken off the path God has called me on.
*I cannot add pictures of my daughter due to my ex stalking me and running across this page to attempt to slander me some more. I will protect her and my family. Current image is an old one but a personal favorite.
i have documented a lot so email me privately to ask further questions.
Organizer
Seana Coughmen
Organizer
Aurora, OR