Foster Family in need of Van

It's been about 4.5 years since the Lord led our family into the ministry of foster care. 

When we began, we had no " extra bedrooms" , but we had a family who was willing to open their home to children in need and a daughter who was willing to open her room to future sisters , so we got rid of her bed , which was once the crib that our precious baby girl came home to sleep in, from the day she was born .....

It was bittersweet when the first (of many) bunk beds was put together in her room. ( I moved her convertible crib/ bed to the bonus room - to store for safekeeping .... or for when our call to foster had come to an end.)

We only planned to make room to foster one child at a time..... our plans- not Gods lol.

About 6 months in, we agreed to do a week of respite for another foster family, so we threw a free standing twin bed into the middle of the room , next to the bunk beds.

Little did we know that the child we were doing respite for wouldn't leave for close to 3 years . That's a whole other story! 

So for the next 3 years , we did go back and forth between having 1-2 foster daughters at a time, as one would leave ...... sometimes we would leave that extra bed empty for a while, until we thought we could give another "yes".

But that was our maximum capacity!

 

God definitely has a sense of humor!

For the first 4 years of our foster care journey, we felt that we could only say yes to pre-teen girls. 

No boys, no babies, no teens, no sibling groups.

Over the years, we have become increasingly aware of the need for foster families to open their homes to teens, but we were ( like many) very reluctant. Teens are scary enough when you birth them and raise them, so let's be honest- it's even more intimidating to think of bringing in a teen with so many unknowns..... and we've all heard the horror stories!

In October of 2022, the Lord softened our hearts to the idea of working with teens ….. we agreed we would give it a shot when we felt like we got the  “ right call”. 

And wouldn’t you know it, we got a call for a 15 year old girl the next day lol.

We said yes. 

In January of 2023 something else shifted ….. and has been shifting ever since ! 

I realized that we had a temporarily available extra bedroom ( for short term stays) while my oldest was away at college. He gave us permission to use his room , with the understanding it would be available on breaks and summers for him. He also gave permission to add a bunk bed.

So we said yes  some more and then some more. Then we said yes to our first sibling set , which included our first foster son as well . Both were teens! ( Later I was informed that if we had not agreed to let them stay - the children were supposed to have gone into a group home!) It was supposed to be just short term placement for the weekend, until they begged to stay- knowing that their only chance to stay together, would be to stay with us. But now we had a conundrum….. the only place for the boy to stay was in my college son’s room- who we had promised not to give away his room permanently! And in opening our home - my kids share a lot and probably sacrifice more than we do, so we need to respect their boundaries. Neither of our boys wanted to share their rooms , which was part of the reason we never fostered boys before.

Well - before we solved the first problem, we said yes again , and created another problem lol.

We said yes to another sibling group - a girl …. and another boy! …..  but it was going to be ok , because we only said yes to short term weekend placement lol.

( Short term is essentially just our way of saying that we can take the kids for a limited amount of days- which will keep them from being split up or potentially having to sleep in the DSS office that night- and it buys DSS time to find someone who can commit to keeping the kids for as long as they need to be there.)

Sadly those siblings did wind up getting split up, because the sister needed to be placed in a different type of foster home. At that point , we didn’t want the sweet 7 year old boy to have to move AND be split up from his sister, so he stayed.

Now we had 2 foster sons and no where for them to sleep for the summer . So we converted our bonus room into a bedroom by adding some dressers and a bunk bed.

And now , sadly ….. my baby’s crib / bed , that we had been storing for over 4 years - needed to go to make room for our growing family. I cried but once again, it was bittersweet.

Since then we’ve said yes and yes and yes . 

We’ve accepted babies, toddlers , and more sibling groups. God has grown our hearts in ways we could have NEVER imagined…… even when we thought we were at “ max capacity “

But even though our hearts have expanded, our vehicle capacity has not met the growing needs of our family.

We have a new problem. We have consistently had between 8-11 children in our home ( plus 2 adults)and we do not have a vehicle big enough for everyone.  Sometimes we’re taking 2-3 vehicles to get places all together- and then our time as a family, doesn’t feel like we’re actually together as a family. On top of that, if there were an emergency and only one adult was able to drive  or if one parent is at work or out of town - we could not fit all the children into one vehicle.

There’s multiple weeks each year, where one of us is out of town for work. When there is only one parent available- we can not actually leave the house with all of the children, so we can’t even attend church or have a family outing.

We’ve found ourselves limiting our yeses at this point because it’s starting to feel like a hindrance to family bonding time- to be separated whenever we go places and also because once our son goes back to college, we lose an extra driver which will make it that much more difficult.  A 12 passenger van would be a huge blessing our ever growing family, however we’re not in the position to make that financial commitment. 

Currently we have more beds available and could potentially help more children, however we have to solve our transportation issues first.

We currently have an 11 year old foster son , however his 13 year old sister is in a group home , because there are no foster families that will take her.   We have a bed for her and could take her, however that just creates another issue that we can’t solve with our current vehicle situation.

Even when both parents are available to drive , we could not get all of the kids into our 2 vehicles.

We know not everyone is called to open their homes to fostering, but there are so many ways to help be the village for those who are…… sometimes it’s by small acts of service , praying , volunteering your time or talents, or donating gently used items but occasionally there are financial ways that are needed to create practical solutions to obstacles that foster families may face - so THEY can keep helping more children. This is one of those times … please consider praying for the Lords provision for this specific need, sharing this need with people you know who might have a heart for helping foster families, or donating financially if you are capable and feel led.