Help Z Griss create a film on Grief and Eros
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The Grief Eros Film uplifts the indigenous wisdom of Sobonfu Somé's grief ritual so we in the West may heal around race, gender, eros, & secure attachment. This film conjures the healing we need to leave a legacy so future generations may inherit more safety, solidarity, generosity & embodied joy.
UPDATE:
We finished the film! After several showings in progress we learned that this film is meant to be experienced as part of a group ritual. It is too potent to simply sit & watch. (Thank you for this feedback.)
The Grief Eros Film includes 5 sections: intro, gender, race, eros, secure attachment.
Film Tour for 2025:
- May 17, Grief Eros Ritual on Gender (for Play grads & special guests)
- May 23, Intro to Grief Ritual (Washington, DC)
- June 13, Intro to Grief Eros Ritual (SoulPlay Festival in Cobb, CA)
- Aug 29 - 31, Full Grief Eros Film & 3 day Ritual (Evergreen, CO)
- Sept 20, Grief Eros Ritual on Race (for Play grads & special guests)
To receive invitations for these events please join Z’s newsletter here.
Z is guiding Play 2 this year, an immersion that engages the film over 9 months! Z will be traveling to Burkina Faso to meet Sobonfu Somé’s family & village in Nov & Dec! May this film & year of rituals bridge Western & Dagara culture with great respect, reciprocity, & heart opening.
If you are interested in bringing the Grief Eros Film Ritual to your community in 2026, please email [email redacted].
Our team:
We are dancers, lovers, filmmakers, ritualists, visionaries and healers. Three of us have been guiding grief rituals for years. Three of us worked directly with Sobonfu Somé. One of us, Coby, has been connecting with the Dagara people including the families of Sobonfu & Malidoma Somé through frequent visits to Burkina Faso. We are grateful and generous humans who will be honoring our ancestral heritage. Coby will prepare the food our ancestors ate so we may offer this healing to those who came before us, and those to come.
Z Griss (they/them) grief & eros ritualist, dancer, love coach, kink & gender educator for collective liberation. www.EmbodyMoreLove.com
Victor Warring (he/him) somatic sexuality educator, erotic activist, coach, dancer. www.ReWildEros.com
Bernadette Pleasant (she/her) grief ritualist, dancer, founder of the Emotional Institute & 400 years, a somatic based anti-racism program. www.theEmotionalInstitute.com
KJ Dahlaw (they/them) dance artist, founder of Unruly Body Tanztheater, queer eco-somatic dance theater. www.UnrulyBodyTanztheater.com
Coby Leibman (he/him/they) somatic practitioner, grief ritualist, bridge holder with Dagara culture, devotion through nourishing foods. www.CobyLeibman.com
Mer Al Dao (she/her) film as process, ritual & relationship www.Gualina.com
Julia Maryanska (she/her) Polish-American filmmaker & photographer committed to social impact, intimacy & regenerative culture. www.JuliaMaryanska.com
Where the money went:
- Dagara Tribe: $2,050 (Sobonfu Somé's family, village, Dagara dance festival)
- Artists: $13,050 (dancers, musicians, composer, videographer, director)
- Editing/Tech: $17,562 (4 editors, software, drives)
- Travel/Venue: $3,322 (travel, ritual food preparation, venue rental)
- Relationship Building: $4,016 (campaigning, donor events, research)
How we created the film:
We gathered for 1 week to create and film 4 rituals. Each day we created an altar for one theme below. We moved through what wants to heal and what wants to be danced. We will bring you with us into sacred witnessing through the camera.
1. Secure attachment & village: healing from abandonment including ruptures and discontinuity in family, ancestry, and community
2. Intimacy & eros: reclaiming eros and sacred sexuality as part of our nature, our divinity, and a community resource
3. Healing from racism: expressing rage and grief to spiritually cleanse ourselves from the violence and distortion of white supremacy, to reclaim our humanity and healthy relationship with our cultural roots
4. Healing from sexism and the gender binary: freeing ourselves from gender conditioning, transphobia, systemic and internalized patriarchy, to restore the magic of our gender expression as a homecoming, a euphoric and spiritual act of liberation
Best ways you can help:
1. Donate
2. Invite your friends to donate
My friend, Z, is creating an amazing film about grief and eros. Check out their inspiring fundraiser and consider supporting them to make this happen! https://www.gofundme.com/f/grief-eros-film
3. Be a super donor and match donations
4. Connect us with donors, visibility allies, and hosts (We now have Fiscal Sponsorship from the Field!)
Note on Sobonfu’s wishes for the legacy of this work and reciprocity:
At every grief ritual I attended with Sobonfu a white person would ask if we had her blessing to share this work. Sobonfu repeatedly encouraged us to share this work, all of us including white people. She said we in the West need it more than her own village. She also asked us to credit the Dagara Tribe. "If you use your neighbor’s pot to cook a meal, enjoy the meal and tell everyone you used your neighbor’s pot to make it.”
Sobonfu asked us to donate proceeds from each grief ritual to Wisdom Spring. She played a part in forming this organization to support access to drinking water as well as honor and preserve the wisdom of indigenous cultures. We discovered after Sobonfu’s death that Wisdom Spring is no longer sending our donations to the Dagara Tribe or working in her area of Burkina Faso. Coby is in the process of creating a new funding program for us and other grief ritualists to directly support the Dagara Tribe. While this program is developing we are sending donations directly to Sobonfu’s family and her village.
Music credits for the trailer:
"Healing" by Sampa the Great
"There's a reason for today" by Heritage O.P.
In accordance with GoFundMe policy no raffles, sweepstakes, giveaways, or promotions are offered in exchange for any donations.
Organizer
Zahava Griss
Organizer
Guerneville, CA