- S
- M
- E
The first time my heart was open to adoption, I was eight years old. I had heard about China’s one child policy and how because of that, there were a high number of girls placed for adoption in that country. Growing up smack dab in the middle of two rowdy brothers, I had had enough pet reptiles, monster trucks and one too many unintentional injuries due to rough housing. I’ll show you the pencil point scar I still have, when a newly sharpened pencil ended up dangling from my arm, don’t think I won’t. I desperately wanted a sister, and I tried my hardest to convince my parents to bring one home for me. I was naive in thinking we could just pick one out and she would arrive two days later like an amazon prime package.
The second time my heart was open to adoption was when our years of trying to conceive a baby was brought to an end after a cycle of IVF. That cycle brought our third loss and a new diagnosis of, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you’ll be able to carry a child, I think you’ll need a surrogate. Do you have a sister?” You can probably see why my doctor asking the simple question of whether or not I had a sister, sent another crack through my already broken heart. Later that year we sat at an adoption agency meeting with a bunch of other hopeful couples. They were also trying to find the baby they were meant to have at long last. A month after that meeting, we found ourselves staring at a very unexpected positive pregnancy test. At the end of a rocky pregnancy, with overwhelming joy and gratitude, we welcomed our son who is now three.
Secondary infertility, which came as no surprise to us, is a part of our story. While we do have another cycle of IVF covered at almost 100%, we don’t feel that is the path we are meant to walk down again. While it could potentially solve the problem of wanting to expand our family, it does not help solve the problem that there is already(or will be) a woman who finds herself in need of a couple to parent and love her child as if it were their own DNA. This is in no way condemning those who choose fertility treatments over adoption. We have been there before, and I have long thought adoption isn’t always the answer for those who can’t conceive. Adoption is a calling, and we hear that call. Not literally though, we are stable enough to parent. Totally stable, guys.
So here we are for the third time, hearts open once again, because we haven’t forgotten about the millions of children out there who are in need of a family to love them, many right here in our own state. We haven’t forgotten that part of true religion in James 1:27 is to care for orphans. And If you’re wondering why there are many who believe that scripture and yet only a small percentage of them end up adopting, there’s a reason, err, make that thirty thousand of them. Nervous face emoji. The average U.S. adoption is between $30,000 - $40,000, with international adoption even more costly.
The sticker shock sent my financially reserved, non risk taking, researches everything to get the best deal before purchasing, would never buy a lottery ticket, husband, into a nervous panic. And then there was me, who ignored the price tag as if it wasn’t there and said, “Walk by faith, Dan! And if that doesn’t work, I’ll just sell a kidney or something.” It is a good thing he is my husband, because left to my own devices, I would probably be massively in debt, with way too many dogs and only one kidney. After researching different avenues to help with the financial burden, we found out about the adoption tax credit, we cancelled Netflix, we sold all our great pyrenees puppies and lambs that were born this spring, we are renting out the tiny house on our property as a B & B, and we have set up this account as well as using savings(goodbye master bathroom reno, we'd rather have another baby). Our local church has been supportive(and excited!) about this decision we have made and has generously let us set up an account under the church, so you could be able to make a tax deductible donation ::::::Hallelujah chorus::::::
Fundraising for adoption is a lot like fundraising for a missions trip, except you bring that missions trip home and care for it forever and ever, AMEN. What I have found though, is that when there is a need, people generally want to help meet that need. We understand that in this day and age there is a gofundme for everything, and one cannot give to them all as much as they wished they could. Pleeeeazzzzzze(That’s a lot of z’s in a word that doesn’t even contain the letter z) do not feel obligated. Your heart may say yes, but your bank account might say, “I need to eat this week.” We want you to eat this week, trust me. If you are lead and able to, I hope you see this as an investment in a child’s life, doing for one, what you wish you could do for them all. And please know that even if you can’t give, you can be a part of this and help in many other ways!
You can give us your Netflix password. I’m kidding, Netflix would not appreciate that and I really do need to concentrate on getting this house straight instead of getting sucked into something like The Great British Baking Show.
You can pray for us. Although we are well acquainted with the roller coaster of emotions it can be to get a baby from conception to your arms, we know this can be a very emotionally draining process.
You can pray for our future baby. Many babies are unintentionally exposed to alcohol/drugs before a birth mom even realizes she is pregnant and can sometime create life lasting medical problems for the baby.
You can pray for the birth mom. We’re not doing something brave, the birth mom is. She is recognizing that she cannot give the child growing in her the life she wants, and is willing to hand over a piece of her heart to people she will barely(or not at all) know. She will walk into a hospital, go through the painful process of birth, and walk out without a baby. The courage to do that overwhelms me.
You can pray for birth father. Often he is nowhere to be found, but sometimes he is, and that baby is his, too. Just because he doesn’t carry and give birth doesn’t mean he doesn’t also love that child and that this decision isn’t also incredibly difficult for him.
You can share this page. We are working with Bethany Christian Services and will most likely be connected with a birth mom in the state of Virginia through their agency. But, if someone ends up seeing this post and connecting us to a birth mom because their friends, sisters, best friends, cousin is looking to place her child and wants to get in touch with us, things will change a little. If that happens, it will change our contract to an independent adoption. We will still use the Bethany agency, but that placement fee will change. It could be more, or it could be less because adopting in a different state comes with significant out of state fees. I wish I could give you a referral fee if you are the one to connect us to a birth mom, but I'm pretty sure that's illegal so you're just gonna have to settle for a job well done, and maybe a crown in heaven.
There will be other miscellaneous items. My mom came down this past weekend to help me clean. One of my friends is a photographer and took photos of us for our profile book. There may be times we need someone to take Nathan at meetings he cannot be present for. My mom generously watched Nathan for 2 days when we had our adoption training weekend a few weekends back. Every adoption is different, so the needs will be different but there will certainly be opportunities to help if you wish to do so!
The breakdown of Bethany fees from the Domestic Infant Adoption Program
$550.00 Application fee
$2,500.00 Home study fee
$10,900.00 Program Fee 1
$14,000.00 Program fee 2(placement fee)
$1,950.00 Post placement report fee
Total Bethany Fee is $29,900.00. There will be a few additional expenses like printing profile books and other legal fees and possible travel expenses depending on who we end up getting matched with. We have already completed steps A and B. Our first home study visit is TOMORROW!! We will have two other visits this month before step C is officially completed and then we will be in the waiting period to be chosen by a birth mom.
Thank you for reading this, the fact that you clicked this link means you care about us very much, or the person who shared the link and if you got all the way through this, you're the real MVP. As a way to say thank you, I reached out to my friend Stephanie Assad who is an amazing hand letter-er(is that a word?) and also a great secret keeper because I told her about the adoption back in July! Everyone who donates, even the smallest amount will receive an email with the digital file of Matthew 25:40.
Our future baby is one of, “ the least of these.” Naked, hungry, thirsty, in need to be taken in, he/she fits most of the requirements. We hope that you see this as an opportunity to be part of this and I hope you will hang this verse somewhere in your house and each time you see it, you are reminded that what you did to the least of these, it’s as if you did it until Jesus himself.
I’ve also done several watercolor paintings, some specific to adoption. The word adoption actually comes from the latin words “Ad” and “optio” which means, “to choose,” and I just love that I can refer to this baby as chosen! So to make this fun, here is a little “reward” system;
-Anyone who gives any amount will receive the digital file verse.
-Anyone who gives $25 and over will receive a 9”x12” PRINT of one of my watercolors on watercolor paper(You can choose from the watercolors below or from ANY of the ones I have done so far) You can visit my IG account at @chosengracewatercolors or find them on my blog at www.estateofgrace.co under "watercolor"
-Anyone who gives over $100, will get the digital file verse, a 9"x12" PRINT of one of my watercolors, and a custom one from me.
IMPORTANT NOTES:
-I really do wish I could paint something custom for every single one of you, but it all has to do with time! Between a toddler, a farm, and a home study where they look in every closet(my usual hiding place for clutter) my time is limited!
-Our church has created an adoption specific account for us, so that anyone who wanted the tax deduction could give that way. GoFundMe is not tax deductible. If you wish to get the tax deduction, you will need to send a check to our church to be made out to Bethlehem Baptist Church(just write adoption fund on the memo area) and send it to P.O. box 66 Dillwyn, Va 23936.
-To receive these rewards I will need you to contact me via [email redacted] so I can get them to you, and work with you if you are having something custom done. If you have already given through our church, please contact me so I can give you your, “rewards.” And thank you for giving without even knowing there was a reward!
-You can view all my watercolor paintings on Instagram @chosengracewatercolor and many are up on my blog atwww.estateofgrace.co under "watercolor." You can also follow along there where I will be posting any updates we have! Again, thank you for all your support!
Peace, love, and paperwork(so much paperwork),
Dan, Grace, and Nathan
The second time my heart was open to adoption was when our years of trying to conceive a baby was brought to an end after a cycle of IVF. That cycle brought our third loss and a new diagnosis of, “I’m sorry, I don’t think you’ll be able to carry a child, I think you’ll need a surrogate. Do you have a sister?” You can probably see why my doctor asking the simple question of whether or not I had a sister, sent another crack through my already broken heart. Later that year we sat at an adoption agency meeting with a bunch of other hopeful couples. They were also trying to find the baby they were meant to have at long last. A month after that meeting, we found ourselves staring at a very unexpected positive pregnancy test. At the end of a rocky pregnancy, with overwhelming joy and gratitude, we welcomed our son who is now three.
Secondary infertility, which came as no surprise to us, is a part of our story. While we do have another cycle of IVF covered at almost 100%, we don’t feel that is the path we are meant to walk down again. While it could potentially solve the problem of wanting to expand our family, it does not help solve the problem that there is already(or will be) a woman who finds herself in need of a couple to parent and love her child as if it were their own DNA. This is in no way condemning those who choose fertility treatments over adoption. We have been there before, and I have long thought adoption isn’t always the answer for those who can’t conceive. Adoption is a calling, and we hear that call. Not literally though, we are stable enough to parent. Totally stable, guys.
So here we are for the third time, hearts open once again, because we haven’t forgotten about the millions of children out there who are in need of a family to love them, many right here in our own state. We haven’t forgotten that part of true religion in James 1:27 is to care for orphans. And If you’re wondering why there are many who believe that scripture and yet only a small percentage of them end up adopting, there’s a reason, err, make that thirty thousand of them. Nervous face emoji. The average U.S. adoption is between $30,000 - $40,000, with international adoption even more costly.
The sticker shock sent my financially reserved, non risk taking, researches everything to get the best deal before purchasing, would never buy a lottery ticket, husband, into a nervous panic. And then there was me, who ignored the price tag as if it wasn’t there and said, “Walk by faith, Dan! And if that doesn’t work, I’ll just sell a kidney or something.” It is a good thing he is my husband, because left to my own devices, I would probably be massively in debt, with way too many dogs and only one kidney. After researching different avenues to help with the financial burden, we found out about the adoption tax credit, we cancelled Netflix, we sold all our great pyrenees puppies and lambs that were born this spring, we are renting out the tiny house on our property as a B & B, and we have set up this account as well as using savings(goodbye master bathroom reno, we'd rather have another baby). Our local church has been supportive(and excited!) about this decision we have made and has generously let us set up an account under the church, so you could be able to make a tax deductible donation ::::::Hallelujah chorus::::::
Fundraising for adoption is a lot like fundraising for a missions trip, except you bring that missions trip home and care for it forever and ever, AMEN. What I have found though, is that when there is a need, people generally want to help meet that need. We understand that in this day and age there is a gofundme for everything, and one cannot give to them all as much as they wished they could. Pleeeeazzzzzze(That’s a lot of z’s in a word that doesn’t even contain the letter z) do not feel obligated. Your heart may say yes, but your bank account might say, “I need to eat this week.” We want you to eat this week, trust me. If you are lead and able to, I hope you see this as an investment in a child’s life, doing for one, what you wish you could do for them all. And please know that even if you can’t give, you can be a part of this and help in many other ways!
You can give us your Netflix password. I’m kidding, Netflix would not appreciate that and I really do need to concentrate on getting this house straight instead of getting sucked into something like The Great British Baking Show.
You can pray for us. Although we are well acquainted with the roller coaster of emotions it can be to get a baby from conception to your arms, we know this can be a very emotionally draining process.
You can pray for our future baby. Many babies are unintentionally exposed to alcohol/drugs before a birth mom even realizes she is pregnant and can sometime create life lasting medical problems for the baby.
You can pray for the birth mom. We’re not doing something brave, the birth mom is. She is recognizing that she cannot give the child growing in her the life she wants, and is willing to hand over a piece of her heart to people she will barely(or not at all) know. She will walk into a hospital, go through the painful process of birth, and walk out without a baby. The courage to do that overwhelms me.
You can pray for birth father. Often he is nowhere to be found, but sometimes he is, and that baby is his, too. Just because he doesn’t carry and give birth doesn’t mean he doesn’t also love that child and that this decision isn’t also incredibly difficult for him.
You can share this page. We are working with Bethany Christian Services and will most likely be connected with a birth mom in the state of Virginia through their agency. But, if someone ends up seeing this post and connecting us to a birth mom because their friends, sisters, best friends, cousin is looking to place her child and wants to get in touch with us, things will change a little. If that happens, it will change our contract to an independent adoption. We will still use the Bethany agency, but that placement fee will change. It could be more, or it could be less because adopting in a different state comes with significant out of state fees. I wish I could give you a referral fee if you are the one to connect us to a birth mom, but I'm pretty sure that's illegal so you're just gonna have to settle for a job well done, and maybe a crown in heaven.
There will be other miscellaneous items. My mom came down this past weekend to help me clean. One of my friends is a photographer and took photos of us for our profile book. There may be times we need someone to take Nathan at meetings he cannot be present for. My mom generously watched Nathan for 2 days when we had our adoption training weekend a few weekends back. Every adoption is different, so the needs will be different but there will certainly be opportunities to help if you wish to do so!
The breakdown of Bethany fees from the Domestic Infant Adoption Program
$550.00 Application fee
$2,500.00 Home study fee
$10,900.00 Program Fee 1
$14,000.00 Program fee 2(placement fee)
$1,950.00 Post placement report fee
Total Bethany Fee is $29,900.00. There will be a few additional expenses like printing profile books and other legal fees and possible travel expenses depending on who we end up getting matched with. We have already completed steps A and B. Our first home study visit is TOMORROW!! We will have two other visits this month before step C is officially completed and then we will be in the waiting period to be chosen by a birth mom.
Thank you for reading this, the fact that you clicked this link means you care about us very much, or the person who shared the link and if you got all the way through this, you're the real MVP. As a way to say thank you, I reached out to my friend Stephanie Assad who is an amazing hand letter-er(is that a word?) and also a great secret keeper because I told her about the adoption back in July! Everyone who donates, even the smallest amount will receive an email with the digital file of Matthew 25:40.
Our future baby is one of, “ the least of these.” Naked, hungry, thirsty, in need to be taken in, he/she fits most of the requirements. We hope that you see this as an opportunity to be part of this and I hope you will hang this verse somewhere in your house and each time you see it, you are reminded that what you did to the least of these, it’s as if you did it until Jesus himself.
I’ve also done several watercolor paintings, some specific to adoption. The word adoption actually comes from the latin words “Ad” and “optio” which means, “to choose,” and I just love that I can refer to this baby as chosen! So to make this fun, here is a little “reward” system;
-Anyone who gives any amount will receive the digital file verse.
-Anyone who gives $25 and over will receive a 9”x12” PRINT of one of my watercolors on watercolor paper(You can choose from the watercolors below or from ANY of the ones I have done so far) You can visit my IG account at @chosengracewatercolors or find them on my blog at www.estateofgrace.co under "watercolor"
-Anyone who gives over $100, will get the digital file verse, a 9"x12" PRINT of one of my watercolors, and a custom one from me.
IMPORTANT NOTES:
-I really do wish I could paint something custom for every single one of you, but it all has to do with time! Between a toddler, a farm, and a home study where they look in every closet(my usual hiding place for clutter) my time is limited!
-Our church has created an adoption specific account for us, so that anyone who wanted the tax deduction could give that way. GoFundMe is not tax deductible. If you wish to get the tax deduction, you will need to send a check to our church to be made out to Bethlehem Baptist Church(just write adoption fund on the memo area) and send it to P.O. box 66 Dillwyn, Va 23936.
-To receive these rewards I will need you to contact me via [email redacted] so I can get them to you, and work with you if you are having something custom done. If you have already given through our church, please contact me so I can give you your, “rewards.” And thank you for giving without even knowing there was a reward!
-You can view all my watercolor paintings on Instagram @chosengracewatercolor and many are up on my blog atwww.estateofgrace.co under "watercolor." You can also follow along there where I will be posting any updates we have! Again, thank you for all your support!
Peace, love, and paperwork(so much paperwork),
Dan, Grace, and Nathan