Zoe and Ben just want their baby. Their IVF story.
After 10 years of trying, with 1 failed round of IUI & 2 failed rounds of ICSI, we decided to give it one last go & had IMSI. It was the best decision we made. For the first time, the pregnancy test read PREGNANT in October 2020, just when we were about to give up! To say we were ecstatic is an understatement! Everything was going well until the 13 week scan, New Years Eve. Our son had a body covered in fluid & cysts on his neck. Nobody could talk to us about these findings as the Dr's were off for Bank Holiday. We finally had another scan a long 5 days later & a consultant confirmed it was 2 cystic hygromas growing on our baby's neck & the high fluid was likely caused due to a chromosome problem. We decided to have a CVS (needle through my stomach) to try to diagnose him. But 4 very long weeks later, the results came back clear. In the meantime more scans showed that our son had a hole in his heart, talipes, missing fibres to his brain, short long bones & a small chest as well as the initial findings. The doctors were convinced it was still a chromosome problem & prepared us that we will have a disabled child. Offering termination regularly. We had dreamed of a child for too long to give up on him. It took 11 weeks in total for a diagnosis. Our son had KAT6B. A chromosome mutation that happens to fewer than 1 in a million! We knew that we didn't want our son to suffer because of our selfishness. We reluctantly made a decision, but did not want to make it so soon, I wanted to treasure him just a little longer, I wanted to be his mum as long as I could. I didn't get the chance. He made the decision for us. His fight was just too great & he could not manage any more. I could no longer feel him move so I rang the hospital & there he was on the screen, lifeless, forever asleep at 25 weeks and 1 day. He passed away peacefully surrounded by love & admiration at what a little fighter we had inside of me. I was given a tablet & was induced the next day. He was delivered at 11.10pm, 27th March weighing 1lbs 10oz. It's the only labour I've ever had, but let me tell you, knowing your pushing out a sleeping baby is so very hard! I wished I died with him too. Our miracle. Our dream. Our Baby. We treasured our time with him as long as we could. For 2 days we had our cuddles. We kissed him. We talked to him. Leaving him behind is the hardest thing we have ever done. I thought my heart was going to stop when I looked back at him one last time. Our beautiful boy, Billy.
Time is sadly not on our side, when it comes to infertility. We would love nothing more than to hold our Baby looking back at us with their eyes open, to hear them, to watch them breathe, to feel their warm touch. To be their parents & tell them all about their fighter brother Billy. Unfortunately we will never have a child naturally.
We have just had one more attempt. Heartbreakingly only 3 eggs were retrieved on collection & NONE made an embryo! We don't ever want to look back and say "what if". We still have a couple more options before we call it a day. But fertility treatment doesn't come cheap. Every penny counts. So if you would like to help with any donation to possibly give us our dream, we will be forever grateful. Zoe & Ben xx
https://youtu.be/shsELK14pOU
