Give the Gift of Parenthood to Caleb & Jess

For those of you who know Caleb and I (Jessica), you know how passionate we are about family and how excited we are to start a family of our own! Becoming parents is something that we have both always looked forward to - throughout our lives prior to knowing each other, and then together as a couple over the past 7 years. When people tell us that “we’ll make great parents one day!” our hearts truly fill with joy! What only our closest friends and family know, is that our journey to having a child of our own will be untraditional - one that will include both IVF and a Gestational Carrier.

When I was just 14 years old, I found out that I had a rare condition affecting less than 1% of women, in which my uterus did not develop at birth. Thus, I received the heavy news at a young age that I would never be able to carry my own child. Although having children isn’t something most teenagers spend their time thinking about, I already had joyful visions and excitement about my life in the future as a mother (playing a motherly role to my 2 year old brother at the time certainly contributed to that, I’m sure! ).

However, this diagnosis did have a silver-lining; even though my uterus never developed, I still had fully functioning ovaries capable of producing fertile eggs. The doctors told me that this meant it could still be possible for me to have a biological child one day; with the help of science to retrieve my eggs and create an embryo, I would then just someone to carry the child for me.

Knowing the state of my fertility at such a young age, posed both benefits and challenges throughout the years. I certainly grappled with thoughts such as “would someone still choose me knowing that I wouldn’t be able to become pregnant?” Trust me, I recognize that infertility is a devastating challenge that many couples face and triumph through together so in this way we are not unique. However, many couples begin to experience problems with fertility once they are in a committed relationship with one another and for me, it was news I felt I had to share with a potential life-partner ahead of any deep commitments.

I remember the night I shared this vulnerable news with Caleb, within the first year of our relationship. I expressed to him that I only thought it was fair that he knew, so he could decide if he even wanted to continue to further our relationship or if this was already a “deal-breaker.” Well, for those of you who know Caleb, then you already know how loving and supportive his response to me was - on that night and ever since. I am overwhelmingly grateful to have the love and support of a man who truly has always loved and accepted me for me.

And so through our years together, we have discussed extensively the path we would want and need to take to build our family, and that is to undergo IVF treatment to produce Caleb and I’s biological embryo, and then transfer our embryo to a Gestational Carrier who can carry and deliver our baby.

(FYI: A “Gestational Carrier” is similar to what you may know as a “Surrogate,” but with a key difference; in surrogacy, the surrogate’s own eggs are fertilized to make the embryo and therefore she has a biological connection to the child she carries. A “Gestational Carrier” receives an embryo from another man and woman and just carries the pregnancy, so the child is not biologically connected to her.)

We truly believe that it is a blessing that my body is able to produce eggs so that we may have our own biological child and so we felt very strongly that this was the path we wanted to pursue.

Another incredible blessing that I am happy to share, is that one of my lifelong friends, has offered us the most selfless and life-changing gift - my friend Jordan has volunteered to be our Gestational Carrier! Honestly, words can not express the gratitude we feel for Jordan! She is truly a beyond special person and we are so honored and thrilled to have her be the person that plays this essential role in our family building journey!

All of this said, we are reaching out for help and support from our family, friends, and loved ones. We have to admit, ‘asking for help’ in general, and especially money, is very much out of Caleb and I’s comfort zone. Those who know us, know that we are engrained with hard working values and we spend money responsibly to achieve financial goals. Despite the intentional focus and financial and career moves we’ve made with our fertility journey in mind, the truth remains that the cost of our treatment is very expensive. And so we are humbly asking for support to help reduce the financial impact this process will inevitably have.

The funds we are raising will fully go towards the cost of our IVF and Gestational Carrier treatment and process. Many people know that the cost of IVF is expensive - our treatment plan is estimating ~$20,000. After IVF, the process of having a Gestational Carrier carry and deliver our child will be an additional estimated cost of $50,000-$70,000 (significantly lower than typical due to the grace of Jordan volunteering to be our GC!).

Any amount you are able or willing to contribute is so greatly appreciated. And if you are unable to contribute money at this time, we completely understand, and would be touched if you kept us in your thoughts and prayers throughout this process. If you feel moved to share our story and fundraiser with others, that would mean the world to us as well.

Additionally, for those who are interested in staying informed on how our journey progresses, I intend to share updates here on this page, so those who donated (or those who are supporting us in other ways) can know the magical impact you are helping to create.

With all of our love,

Jessica and Caleb

[Please know that we fully recognize and empathize with the fact that many people, some of who may be reading this post, have had and/or are facing their own battles - both emotionally and financially - with infertility. We hope our asking for support in this public way does not bring any negative feelings or disrespect towards the journey of others, and know that our hearts and prayers are with them as they work to build their family, as well.❤️]