Wow, this is extremely difficult to do. It's so awkward. How do you tell strangers about the awful situation you're in when you're embarrassed by it? Do you just walk up and say, "Hi, I'm Rosie and I'm an overly empathetic sweetheart who was married to a narcissistic bully who has left me and my two darling children vehicleless, incomeless, and soon to be houseless, only a few weeks post emergency spinal surgery. Do you take sugar with your tea?"

Backstory:

My ex and I were together for 8 years. We met after I'd been raped by a faculty member at the university I was attending, when I needed someone to lean on. During that time, we had two children. I have been the SAHM the entire time, giving up my career and my education in order to do so (and happily because I adore my children and am a natural mother, and he refused). He's been the sole breadwinner and honestly did a terrible job of it. He only worked the minimum possible, whether I have to find ways to feed our kids off of a food bank at the end of the month or not, and yet refused to be the one who stayed home with them while I got a better job so we could afford daycare. He spent all of his way-too-ample free time, gaming, never going even to the park with us unless manipulated or forced.

I FAILED in that I led my children and family to believe that he was way, way better to us than he was. That he deserved every break away from us he could get. My empathic nature led me to think that he always had it worse than me, that I couldn't end the marriage because then I would have lost this battle, instead of realizing it was a battle I never could have won. He was a bully in high school and I was a bullied victim and it turns out that's a terrible relationship to have with someone as an adult. He never actually enjoyed mine or their company. BUT he made me think for the longest time that our way of life was totally normal. But after years, it starts to weigh on you, and the rose colored glasses begin to shatter.

I honestly realize now why so many women throughout history have stayed in bad marriages. He makes it impossible to feel in any way safe or secure. He took the car, leaving us with no vehicle, he took the income(all legal battles are being fought but does nothing to help us in the meantime), he harasses me in varying levels of intensity and doesn't spend but maybe 2 hrs every 3 weeks w/his kids. Now we're being evicted, and I'm only barely able to walk again(my spinal cord was almost severed) let alone get a job(recovery is as little as 12 weeks).

I want to move out of this town, away from him and his ever-penetrating erosion of my self-esteem, of my safety, of the kids' self-value, of it all. I want to give them a fresh start so we can grow into who we are away from his manipulation. I have found a way thru a health program to help us in a new spot for six months if I can just raise the funds for the eviction rent this month(that's all I owe) and deposit and moving funds. Then they can set me up in a new town with a new start.

So, please, if you have it extra, for a rainy day fund, and can help me give these amazing, tender children a better life, give me a chance to make a new one with better people around us, I wouldn't be the only one grateful.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for any prayers or good vibes you can send our way. <3

Rosie, Mouse & Norms