THANK YOU ALL FOR DONATING

Any money above my goal will go towards providing her with groceries and any other necessities she may need!

My name is Briggitte Torres Castellanos, but a lot of you may know me as B or B The City. I’m a Toronto based queer, Latina DJ. Being in the queer world, as well as the music scene in Toronto, I have learned so much about the power of community and the strength in chosen family. But I want to talk to you a little bit about my biological family. Specifically, my mother.

Claudia.

My mother Claudia was born in El Salvador in 1972. During her years in El Salvador her life was full of s*xual abuse, neglect from her caretakers and isolation, making her resent her heritage and where she came from; “That’s why I hate that country, I only have bad memories there”, her words. She immigrated to Canada in 1987 with the same family that had failed her. Upon arrival, the abuse from her father and step-mother continued, so she ran away from home. Found by the police at a random convenience store in Hamilton, weighing less than 100lbs, bruises all over, and barely speaking english, she was then taken into foster care. It was the start of a difficult time in this new country, adjusting to a new home environment, learning the language and just trying to survive.

My mother's experience is not unique, but to those reading this who come from immigrant families or are immigrants themselves, it’s unfortunately a common struggle. Coming to Canada held possibilities of hope for my mother that did not measure up to what she had held in her mind.

She had her first child at 17 and had 3 children by the time she was 24, all on her own. A single mom, trying to navigate her own struggles while simultaneously trying to give her kids a better life than she had. A few years after I was born, my mother began struggling with her mental health. Her 3 children were removed from her care and she was stripped from the privileged to raise my siblings and I.

After this my mother was stuck in the system with little to no support. Her family had long given up on her, and her community in Canada was non-existent. The system failed her. Her family failed her. Her community failed her. I failed her.

My mothers and I’s relationship has been complicated to say the least. I have not always been there for her and she has not always been there for me.

Over the past year we have began to rekindle our relationship. We met and laughed, and she told me stories of El Salvador and her younger years in Hamilton, and I of my life in Toronto. We found each other again. As much as I wish I could say this was a joyous reunion, that was not exactly the case.

My mother shared with me that her health issues have taken a turn and her doctor is not sure how much time she has left. She is living in poverty on a welfare budget of $500 a month.

Something my mother told me when I was visiting her last really stuck me. She said “Briggitte all I have ever done is work. Never taking a vacation to travel, I never went out and just had fun. For the past 25 years I have not had a moment of pleasure.”

This broke my heart. We, myself included, take being able to go out and have fun for granted, something as simple as seeing friends or enjoying a meal together.

To be frank I’m not sure how much longer my mother has but I want to try my best to ignite some excitement and fun in her life.

This is where you come in. I am asking you, my community, my chosen family, my friends, coworkers, peers, fellow DJ’s and queers alike to help me give this to my mother.

One thing my mother and I always had in common, is our love for music. A lot of my music taste is influenced by her. In May, Grupo Niche is coming to Toronto and in October, Buena Vista Orchestra. If there’s one thing that can make my mom happy, it’s Salsa! I would love nothing more than to take her to these two concerts and book a hotel for us to enjoy a nice night in the city together. Unfortunately, having no support from family myself, I am not financially able to.

So I’m asking you all in my community for help. A dollar, or two or anything you can spare would mean the world to my mother and I. I want to show her the power of community. That we haven't forgotten about women like her who have paved the way for women like me to exist boldly and loudly.

I want her to have some fun.

Because in a time like this, everyone could use a bit of fun.