Help Family Escape Abuse

Hi, I’m Jack. I’m making this on behalf of someone close to me who is struggling to escape an abusive co-parenting situation with the father of their two children (aged 2 and 4). For the safety of all involved parties I am maintaining a level of anonymity for the family so they don’t face any potential retaliation resulting from divulging the nature of their current situation.

After years of maintaining an unsettling-at-best (and often far worse) arrangement with the father of their children, they’ve resolved to take steps to provide more security and stability for their family that they might thrive in a more consistent and nurturing environment; free from any further physical or psychological damage to the children.

This fall their son starts preschool and, rather than falling back into the pattern of leaving their daughter in a situation where her basic needs are not met (or worse), they’ve decided to enroll her in daycare to receive proper care as well as the opportunity to engage and socialize with other children.

They are also in the process of relocating and preparing their home to be put on the market as they have been struggling as a single parent to maintain the costs that come with it; a financial responsibility that they had never anticipated or intended to take on alone. This has also become complicated as he somehow acquired (without their consent) their new current address, and has since made threats to show up if he does not get what he is demanding. Because of these threats, and his tendency toward drinking and violence, they opted to install and maintain a monitored security system as the police will not grant a restraining order or protective order until he actually follows through on one of said threats.

Beyond the significant cost of these changes, they’re left with overwhelming debt (in large part from property damages caused by their ex through their relationship, and up to when they had to kick them out long after said relationship had ended).

As stated previously, their relationship as co-parents has always been complicated; but more recently it has become alarmingly apparent that their children are no longer physically safe being with their father unsupervised; this has compelled them to seek out a custody agreement and other protective measures that safeguard the kids from any further harm from their father.

There was a long-form plan previously thought out to create protective boundaries between the three of them and the father, but more recently there has been an acceleration regarding the severity and frequency of the abuse to a point that the timeline had to be reworked to protect the kids from being hurt any further. This means budgeting out more immediate (and more costly) actions. And all of this on top of the fact that their father does not and has not ever paid any child support which has left them shouldering the financial weight of raising these two children entirely on their own.

They’re not asking for help to cover all involved costs; they’re just trying to get ahead of the expenses piling up with lawyer fees, repairs for damages he inflicted upon their home and their car, and the sudden and unexpected daycare and security costs all surfacing at the same time.

They want their children to have the best and brightest future they can possibly provide for them; and this year that meant making some difficult but necessary changes to the framework of their situation. They’re asking for assistance initiating some of the more expensive shifts towards a safer and more secure position for their family so they can break free from the cyclical patterns of abuse before they impact the development of the kids any further.