Ethan's Therapy Room
Donation protected
My sister has always been another mom to me. When I was 14 years old, she became an actual mom. And let me just tell you, she is one of the best ones around. Her oldest son, Ethan, needs a little extra support from us as his family. After a lot of family conversations, my sister finally expressed that they have a big need for a therapeutic place for Ethan in their house. Please read this message from her and help me support my sweet, loving, cuddle bug of a nephew!
From Sara:
Ethan turns 10 years old this spring! He was diagnosed with autism before age 2 and it’s hard to believe we’ve been trying to meet his unique and intense needs for that long. He has progressed so far from the disconnected toddler that he regressed into after his first birthday. He is funny, mischievous, loving, cuddly, strong, and opinionated. He can communicate his wants and needs with simple words and gestures, and he potty trained 3 years ago! Homeschooling him has been instrumental in his progress but it also brought us down to one income unexpectedly four years ago.
As he has gotten older, bigger, and smarter, we have hit some scary and dangerous phases that require a big, long term solution. Without enough things to keep him occupied at home, he has started to wander off without us knowing. Unfortunately he is smart enough to wait until we are distracted and then he leaves, sometimes without weather appropriate clothing or shoes. The police brought him home one morning while we were still asleep. And another time he made it almost a mile away in less than 10 minutes to a busy road before we caught up to him as the police were on their way. He often bolts as fast as he can because he understands that I would call him back if I saw him. But Ethan does not understand the danger of oncoming traffic and will walk right into streets and parking lot roads without a second thought. He loves going off trail into the woods. He loves water even though he doesn't know his own limits with swimming. He is in grave danger when he is out in the world without us. We installed some expensive security at home that has helped us catch him on his way out countless other times. But it's really just a band-aid that can't be fully trusted. We still have our guard up at all times, night and day. We barricade ourselves in at night using gates with jingle bells attached, multiple alarming motion sensors, and security cameras that alert our phones. The root of the problem is that Ethan needs his stimulation requirements met more fully at home, and he needs a safe room to be in when he is up all hours of the night while the rest of us try (and usually fail) to sleep.
We have the perfect spot for an "Ethan Room" above our garage. We feel it is the best solution for helping our whole family live safely together in our home as Ethan reaches his teen years, and most likely lives with us into adulthood.
A little more about Ethan's current challenges:
Since birth, Ethan has had a hard time staying at home for more than a couple hours at a time. He doesn’t engage with toys and struggles to keep himself occupied at home. We remedy this by walking a few miles every day, running errands, breaking up the day with outing after outing, and just staying out as much as we can. It is exhausting and sad that our home is a place of frustration for him (and then for us sometimes) instead of a haven. We have also filled the backyard with equipment to feed his sensory needs, but those are weather dependent. Our small living room (and only living area) is taken over by his giant stretchy swings that hang from the ceiling, his piles and piles of books that he flips through, a trampoline, and an exercise ball. The rest of us, including his two brothers and their toys, try to squeeze in around all of this on a daily basis. Because it is dangerous for him to swing himself into us or the other kids in the house (which he totally would do and has done), I often have to take his swings down so the rest of us can live in the room for a bit. This takes away his biggest sensory stimulation and gives him even less of a chance for peace at home.
Sleep is one of our biggest challenges. Ethan is awake for all hours of the night on a regular basis. He is sometimes awake from 1am to 5am, then will sleep for an hour. Or he sometimes will wake for the day at 3am. We haven’t slept well in 8 years. He currently shares a room with his middle brother (with a baby brother who will need a room soon) and his terrible nights lead to an exhausting game of musical beds. He needs his own space that is Ethan-proofed for his safety while his brothers have a place to sleep peacefully all night. His body needs to be awake, and the rest of us need to be asleep. But that can only happen if there's a safe place for him to hang out. His own room with all of his sensory-feeding equipment would be a monumental change for us.
We love Ethan and are so glad he's ours. We want to keep him safe, occupied, stimulated, and healthy with us in our home!
From Sara:
Ethan turns 10 years old this spring! He was diagnosed with autism before age 2 and it’s hard to believe we’ve been trying to meet his unique and intense needs for that long. He has progressed so far from the disconnected toddler that he regressed into after his first birthday. He is funny, mischievous, loving, cuddly, strong, and opinionated. He can communicate his wants and needs with simple words and gestures, and he potty trained 3 years ago! Homeschooling him has been instrumental in his progress but it also brought us down to one income unexpectedly four years ago.
As he has gotten older, bigger, and smarter, we have hit some scary and dangerous phases that require a big, long term solution. Without enough things to keep him occupied at home, he has started to wander off without us knowing. Unfortunately he is smart enough to wait until we are distracted and then he leaves, sometimes without weather appropriate clothing or shoes. The police brought him home one morning while we were still asleep. And another time he made it almost a mile away in less than 10 minutes to a busy road before we caught up to him as the police were on their way. He often bolts as fast as he can because he understands that I would call him back if I saw him. But Ethan does not understand the danger of oncoming traffic and will walk right into streets and parking lot roads without a second thought. He loves going off trail into the woods. He loves water even though he doesn't know his own limits with swimming. He is in grave danger when he is out in the world without us. We installed some expensive security at home that has helped us catch him on his way out countless other times. But it's really just a band-aid that can't be fully trusted. We still have our guard up at all times, night and day. We barricade ourselves in at night using gates with jingle bells attached, multiple alarming motion sensors, and security cameras that alert our phones. The root of the problem is that Ethan needs his stimulation requirements met more fully at home, and he needs a safe room to be in when he is up all hours of the night while the rest of us try (and usually fail) to sleep.
We have the perfect spot for an "Ethan Room" above our garage. We feel it is the best solution for helping our whole family live safely together in our home as Ethan reaches his teen years, and most likely lives with us into adulthood.
A little more about Ethan's current challenges:
Since birth, Ethan has had a hard time staying at home for more than a couple hours at a time. He doesn’t engage with toys and struggles to keep himself occupied at home. We remedy this by walking a few miles every day, running errands, breaking up the day with outing after outing, and just staying out as much as we can. It is exhausting and sad that our home is a place of frustration for him (and then for us sometimes) instead of a haven. We have also filled the backyard with equipment to feed his sensory needs, but those are weather dependent. Our small living room (and only living area) is taken over by his giant stretchy swings that hang from the ceiling, his piles and piles of books that he flips through, a trampoline, and an exercise ball. The rest of us, including his two brothers and their toys, try to squeeze in around all of this on a daily basis. Because it is dangerous for him to swing himself into us or the other kids in the house (which he totally would do and has done), I often have to take his swings down so the rest of us can live in the room for a bit. This takes away his biggest sensory stimulation and gives him even less of a chance for peace at home.
Sleep is one of our biggest challenges. Ethan is awake for all hours of the night on a regular basis. He is sometimes awake from 1am to 5am, then will sleep for an hour. Or he sometimes will wake for the day at 3am. We haven’t slept well in 8 years. He currently shares a room with his middle brother (with a baby brother who will need a room soon) and his terrible nights lead to an exhausting game of musical beds. He needs his own space that is Ethan-proofed for his safety while his brothers have a place to sleep peacefully all night. His body needs to be awake, and the rest of us need to be asleep. But that can only happen if there's a safe place for him to hang out. His own room with all of his sensory-feeding equipment would be a monumental change for us.
We love Ethan and are so glad he's ours. We want to keep him safe, occupied, stimulated, and healthy with us in our home!
Organizer and beneficiary
Emily Oakley
Organizer
Raleigh, NC
Sara Turner
Beneficiary