Fortunately, there are alternative methods to make a family whole, but those options are often intrusive and extremely expensive. On average, adopting a child in the US costs somewhere between $8,000-40,000. Surrogacy is another option but is also very expensive with average costs between $40,000-65,000. In addition to the costs associated with adoption or surrogacy couples often experience financial difficulty after the baby comes as the parent(s) do not qualify for any income protection, such as short-term disability, that is paid to a woman who delivers a baby,
One of our MEC family members has been on her own journey on her path to motherhood. Here is her story:
Emily Krein’s story
Michael and I have been trying to start a family since 2007, however we experienced difficulty in getting pregnant due to severe endometriosis. In 2014 it became clear that my endometriosis would not allow me to get pregnant, so Michael and I looked into embryo transfers, but a hysterectomy in 2016 made it impossible for me to carry a child.
At that point Michael and I decided to pursue adoption to start our family. We completed a mountain of paperwork, prepared the nursery, met with lawyers and social workers and were awaiting the call of a birth mother to choose us as parents for her child.
In June 2017, a call came that would change our lives forever. But it was not the call from a birth mother that we expected.
While going through infertility treatments in 2009 I started to research alternative family planning methods. I came across embryo donation. After some couples have gone through IVF treatments they may have remaining embryos that they choose to anonymously donate to couples who otherwise may not be able to have children. I placed our names on a list and didn’t think much of it again. Until I received the call 9 years later that we had made it to the top of the list for embryo donation. We were faced with a wonderful opportunity but had hit a road block since I couldn’t carry a child. Then an angel stepped in, my sister offered to carry our child for us.
The adoption was put on pause while multiple evaluations and meetings with lawyers took place. After months of preparation we transferred 2 embryos on March 13th, 2018. One of them hung on, and my sister is currently 34 weeks pregnant with our little baby boy. We are excitedly anticipating Baby Boy Krein around November 19th.
Many are aware that adoption and surrogacy can be expensive, but until you are faced with building your family in these somewhat “unconventional” ways you cannot begin to truly understand the reality of the expense. We are very fortunate that my sister offered to be our surrogate for no financial compensation, however the medical and legal costs are in the tens of thousands of dollars. The support we have received through our families has been nothing short of amazing as it helped us to get to this point. Now that we are going to be parents in a few short weeks, we are faced with another financial burden.
Since I will not be physically delivering my child, I do not qualify for disability benefits on my maternity leave. Given the multitudes of appointments with lawyers, doctors, etc, I have not been able to save enough PTO to cover most of my maternity leave.
How you can help
Monetary donations to help offset the costs of taking care of a newborn without my income are very much appreciated. All donations will be put directly to Baby Boy Krein to help with the cost of diapers, formula, medical bills, and other baby-related essentials.
Michael and I sincerely appreciate any donation considerations! Please also consider sharing this on social media or with family and friends so we can continue to bring awareness to the lack of adoption and surrogacy benefits and parental leave in The United States. I remain passionate about this cause and will continue to bring forth my research, ideas and solutions to allow ALL new parents the time they deserve to bond with their child.
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