My son is 13 years old.  He and I became a "party of 2" in 2004. He has had very little interaction with his father since our divorce. There have been only a handful of visits a year, though he's remained close to his paternal grandparents and he and I both have great relationships with them.

In 2009 when E was 6, a wonderful man came into our lives.  E does not take to people very quickly and it took some effort on Brent's part to develop a relationship with E.  In 2012, Brent and I were married.  It has always been his desire to adopt E.  We left the conversation open, letting E know Brent's wishes, but never made him feel like he HAD to do it.  He was almost 9 at the time.

What did we need to overcome?  We have a precious boy who was mainly hung up on changing his name.  He'd been "him" for all his life and couldn't wrap his head around changing his name.  The other hurdle was that E told me, "I already look at him as my dad.  So it doesn't matter if I change my name or not, right?"  I explained how it meant much more than just changing his name, and it really did matter to Brent.  Still, we told him it was up to him. Brent would continue to provide for him and love him just as he does his other son.

If I'm being candid, my concern as a mother was what would happen to my son if something should happen to me.  My son wouldn't go to my mom, regardless of the fact that my parents have played an integral role in his life since he was born.  We lived with them after my divorce and E is currently with my mom before and after school everyday.  And there's Brent, the wonderful man who has raised E, taught E about life, provided for his needs and wants, and loved him unconditionally.  Brent would have no rights to the child he's raised. E says he doesn't even remember a time before Brent.  He is just part of US.  Instead, my son would go to his father who has been unable to provide child support and sees him only 2 or 3 times a year.  Can he provide him insurance? Can he pay for college?  How comfortable would my child with Asperger's be living with a man he barely knows in a house with 3 other kids?  His life would be turned upside-down.  But that's not the story we tell E.  We just tell him that Brent wants to make it official, actually BEING his dad instead of being looked at "like a dad".

In the past year, Brent's income has been significantly impacted as he works offshore and the industry has tanked.  He continues to work, but is currently at less than half his original income.  At times, he has been out of work for several weeks with no income and was cut to 20% of his pay.  Our savings is drained and we are barely keeping our heads above water.  I share this and let you know that NOW, right in the middle of our financial struggles, NOW is when E has decided to tell us out of the blue that he is ready to be adopted.  For a moment we were THRILLED, and then we were instantly deflated as we realized we'd have to tell E that we CAN'T.  We just can't right now.  Retaining a lawyer, paying a guardian ad litem, revoking his father's parental rights, court costs, and the cost of adoption will cost us about $5000.  We just don't have $5000, but we have a boy who is ready to change his name.  (Edited to $3k due to it not being contested.) He has chosen Brent as his father in his own time.  We feel terrible that we can't just get the process going!  So we told him we would do it as soon as we could.  Our goal is to have it completed before he begins high school in the fall.  We realize that the process may take longer than that, but that's our goal.  We humbly ask that you help us fulfill E's wish of gaining a DAD and Brent's wish of (officially) being the father of 2 boys.  Your donation provides me with the security of knowing that Brent will always be E's dad, no matter if I am here or not.  He will always be with the person who has raised him.  For me, that is priceless.  Please consider donating toward E's adoption.  Thank you!