On 8 February 2026, my husband Tom and I will be running the Exeter Half Marathon to raise money for Choices Pregnancy Centre, based in Teignmouth and Exeter.

This date marks the fourth anniversary of the day we heard the words no parent should ever hear. In the aftermath, we were supported by Vikki and Liz at Choices, who helped both of us at different stages of our grief.

The pregnancy itself was extremely difficult. I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum and was hospitalised multiple times, needing four different antiemetic medications just to remain barely functional. It took a huge physical and emotional toll, and I carry lifelong guilt for ever questioning whether I could continue the pregnancy. Despite everything, all scans—including the 20-week anomaly scan—showed a healthy baby.

At 25 weeks, I raised concerns about reduced movements but was reassured this was normal as the baby was still small. A heartbeat was eventually found at my appointment, but my instincts told me something wasn’t right. Over the following days, movements reduced further. On the evening of 7 February, I felt his final movements, like he was snuggling down where he felt safe.

The next morning, unable to sleep and filled with dread, I tried everything to make him move. I contacted the midwives but couldn’t be seen until 1pm. Feeling nothing all morning, I drove to the appointment, crying, knowing in my heart that our baby had died. The midwife couldn’t find a heartbeat and suggested my placenta might be anterior and that we should have an urgent scan, but I knew from my scans that it was a posterior placenta and was not obstructing the babies heartbeat. I then had to make the call to Tom, who had gone to work as normal and was none the wiser. We went to the hospital together, and during the scan—after agreeing to have the screen on—we saw our perfect little boy, completely still. A moment etched in Tom’s memory.

We returned home with medication to induce labour and 2 days later came back to the hospital, when my body was ready. Our second son, Tommy, arrived perfect but silent on 10 February 2022 at 11:57am.

I sought help from Choices completely broken by grief, guilt, and anger at my own body. Tom carried us through those early days, but once the initial shock and funeral had passed, it became clear he was struggling too, he also received vital support from Choices.

Choices is an incredible local charity supporting parents and families affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, TFMR and abortion. They offer one-to-one or couples counselling to anyone affected by baby loss.

Running a half marathon was never something we imagined. On Tommy’s fourth anniversary, I will be running carrying a weighted cushion matching his length and weight, in his memory and in gratitude for the support that helped us survive our darkest days.