I am representing a mother of small children, a woman in the refugee population that I have befriended. She is married, but it is a difficult relationship. She is a recent refugee, with permanent resident status. She has been working so hard to learn English, prepare for a job, establish herself even more in the community. I cannot show her face, but she is pictured here with one of her children.
There is so much about her I wish I could explain, but for her privacy and security, it's not possible. Here's what I need you to know:
-Due to her culture and life situation, she is entirely dependent. She cannot drive, is not fluent in English, the family currently has no car, she has no job. She GREATLY desires to overcome these challenges, and is working toward that with the help of her resettlment agency.
- She had finally gotten to the place where childcare and rides and other needs were figured out, and she was close to finding and starting a job, with the help of a job counselor.
- Finances are tight for her family in ways we can't really comprehend. The process of resettling as a refugee requires starting over in a new country with nothing. They have no savings. The husband works a restaurant job, and her hopes were on factory or restaurant work. Many employers are wary of hiring them without a work history. Thankfully, there are social services and services from the resettlement office to make sure the children are cared for while they continue to establish themselves, establish a work history and credit and savings. These things take years, but they do happen. They will happen for this family. They will, through taxes, pay back for every service they receive in these early months, and then some.
-A week ago everything changed. She found herself pregnant. This was not in the plan. The timing is tragic for her. She feels fear, dispair, worry. The trajectory she was on is now interrupted, and she is terrified of the loss of income from the job she was planning to start. There are other, more personal fears I cannot share. But faced with no idea of how to handle this, she felt she had no choice but an abortion.
-This is NOT her ideal plan. Circumstances have driven her to this point. But when speaking to her, she opened up and said that her main fear is finances. I said, "What is one thing that would help you feel you had true options regarding this baby?", and her answer was humble and frank: she needs some funds.She said that she has no idea how, but if she could have a small nest egg to set aside to them purchase a vehicle that would seat all their children, help her establish some financial independence, cover future lost wages from birth and recovery, and be enough to provide clothes and food for this new baby, that would be enough to calm her fears.
I refuse to believe that a woman, truly powerless over much in her life due to culture and timing, caught in a situation where she feels even more powerless, should feel that to abort is the only thing that makes sense. I refuse to believe that the community of pro-life people in this country would be unwilling to try to support her, calm her fears, and help bolster her courage to choose life. There are many services that she can access throughout her pregnancy, and I will be there to help her find all of them.
For many of us, we would be humiliated to even have to admit financial need. But her situation and future financial needs are so dire. These funds will give some peace of mind, help her to know she is cared for by many strangers, and give her the chance to choose life for this baby and properly care for it once it arrives.
In the church, we'd call this a love gift. Given freely, even sacrifically, for someone in need who cannot by sheer force of will, overcome their present circumstances. Would you be led to give to this love gift?
I will personally deliver the funds to her, help her create a bank account, work through helping her manage whatever is raised, and be with her by her side along with other volunteers and staff so she feels the courage she needs. If you could help with a tangible representation of your care for her, her unborn baby, and her sweet family, please give what you can. I cannot say with absolute certainty she will cancel her abortion appointment, but I will work tirelessly to show she doesn't need to choose that and has a legitimate ability to parent this unexpected little one. And the funds will still go to care for a family that faces deep need even today.
Friend of "H"
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