My name is Teresa Proctor Bernal. I have been with my husband for 10 plus years, but we just got married last year. When my husband, who is a retired Marine, first got together, he was suffering badly from PTSD and alcoholism. I'll be upfront, my husband is a few (15) years older than me, and I've never been drawn to older men. But when Rick introduced himself to me and told me he had my six if I ever found myself in trouble (keep in mind I'm a commissioned security officer and was on duty when he said this), I found it very charming that a stranger was willing to step up and let someone know that they were there for them if needed. From there, a friendship was formed, which within the next year turned into dating and just evolved from there.

Shortly after we started living together, I was able to get him to a hospital to go through detox and get sober. Rick gets 100% of the credit; he has stayed sober for over 10 years now. He is the one that takes it day to day and puts in the work. I'm just there as his biggest cheerleader and support when needed. In 2022, Rick asked me to marry him, and I was over the moon saying yes. Rick at that time was still legally married to his first wife, who they had been separated from since he separated from the service as a wounded veteran back in 2007. The only person that was consistently in Rick's life from the time that we have been together has been his youngest son, which has been a blessing. Rick does have an older son, but he really has not been part of his life nor wanted to get to know me at all. Both the older son and ex-wife just left us alone, but after the proposal, Rick filed for divorce, and that's where everything turned very ugly.

I've never been one to talk ugly about somebody's ex, and I'm not going to start now. But the facts are the divorce was stretched out to almost 2 years intentionally, and efforts were made to prevent it. At this time, it was apparent that my husband's memory was starting to decline, but not to the point where he was unable to make his own decisions. His doctors were stating that it was due to the PTSD and combat service injuries. When the state of Texas granted the divorce, the legal assault continued in the state of California under a separation agreement that was attached to the divorce. The divorce was final during the first part of 2024, and we were able to have a quiet wedding ceremony surrounded by family, friends, and some of Rick's fellow Marines on Veterans Day, where I got to marry my favorite veteran.

We have been trying to live up to the separation agreement fairly, but the other side is not wanting a fair and equal division. The older son is financing the legal battles, therefore has put us in a bind. Even when we did not have funds to hire legal representation in the state of California, the judge at the time ruled that the ex-wife was to get an extra $300 for her legal fees. Then the older son decided to file for guardianship of my husband and his estate in early February of this year, stating he is an incapacitated single male. With my last income tax refund as a single woman with dependents, we were finally able to retain legal representation in both the state of California and the state of Texas to protect my husband's right to keep his disability payments, which he solely earned with the pain and suffering that occurred during combat.

The only thing we are fighting for is a fair division of assets. His ex gets half of his military pension, which we are not disputing, and the house should be sold as stated in the separation agreement and equity split equally. But according to the ex's paperwork, she wants all of the house equity and 50% of his combat disability payments. I am still working full time, but at this time the retainer has been depleted. I don't know if I'm saying too much because I've never reached out to strangers to ask for help. So all I can do is be open and honest about our situation. I don't want anybody to step in and start treating my husband like a child, which is what would happen if his older son gets guardianship. And half, if not more, of his combat veteran disability payments from the VA would be funneled to his mother. I want my husband around with me for 20 plus years more while maintaining a quality of life. I want him to be able to live life while he's still able to remember things and have the ability to look back at photos to help him remember when things start slipping away. I need help protecting this goal and protecting a veteran's freedom as he protected ours.