Missing Daddy







Charlie Rey Robillard was born on a beautiful summer day August 6 2016 to his overjoyed parents Robbie and Shelley.  Mom and dad were up there in their forties on the verge of becoming empty nesters and Charlie came as a surprise!  His older sister Cat and brother Jude were adults already and gobsmacked at the news that they had a little baby brother or sister on the way and they soon became very excited!  They had never experienced that kind of anticipation before and when he arrived their young hearts swelled with love for the little guy.   He arrived surrounded by love from the large family on both sides and to parents who were somewhat wiser this time around.  

With the recent passing of Charlie's "dada" Rob Robillard and as the mother left behind to watch over and guide Charlie through this extremely difficult time and the rest of his young life I have concerns.  Concerns that the influence of his dad will not be there like it was for the older children who benefitted from his presence and love.  Rob had been an excellent provider for as long as we were together which was 23 years.  I mean I was not too shabby myself at bringing a good income into the home.  But since taking an extra year of maternity leave to be home with baby I unfortunately lost my position with a company I had been with for 14 years!  I was repeatedly assured before I left that I always had a place with them and was given permission to take the two years off. However when the time came to go back they made the decision to let me go.  Although I had a job waiting for me the next day, in the same field, it was a really hard pill to swallow and I struggled with rejection and loss of that work family for about a year.  I have not yet been able to replace that job which provided me with shares, health/dental/life benefits, a vehicle and a phone, beyond my wages.   I understand that their decision had to do with shifts in management and the economy at the time but still it hurt a lot and I felt let down hard.  I felt very insecure because unbeknownst to me at the time, I had given up everything to bring  Charlie into the world.  My career, my personal vehicle, by benefits, my shares, my relationships at that company, my security in the future.   I am now playing catch up.  Living month to month as I am sure most people can relate to.   What gave me some solace was that Rob was secure in employment, that he had life insurances, benefits etc in the interim.  I had time to catch up and get to the point where I could afford to pay into my own insurances and nest egg so I had something to leave our children down the road.  Now that solace is gone.  We will receive Rob's life benefits and some government death benefits that will take care of funeral costs and settling his financial responsibilities but I don't expect it to carry the children too far into the future.  I work full time in construction so I do what I can and always will to provide a good life for Charlie.   I am grateful that I am still healthy and capable even at 46 to keep up in my field.   I am acutely conscious now that real effort needs to be made to carry on and to stay healthy in mind and body for my beautiful boy, my older babies and our futures.

I am starting this fund because I was asked about wether or not I was going to set something like this up.  Because I also know that some people who loved and admired Rob feel the need to contribute to our kids who are left heartbroken without their dad.  Because I guess my pride needs to be set aside in order to try to help my kids out in whatever ways are available to us to secure our future a bit better. 

Please only if its affordable to you and only if you feel you want to help you can contribute to Charlie's support fund.   The money will help me cover expenses that occurred in order to send their daddy off to the spirit world in the respectful way he deserves and the way that feels right to us, until the benefits come through.   The remaining raised money will go into a savings account and withdrawals may be made to pay for my life insurance premiums and health/dental benefits through Blue Cross or the like.  That will replace what his dads employment provided them.  Beyond that the funds will be considered emergency funds/ Charlies money for future schooling, opportunities like travel field trips when he's older or things that I may struggle to provide.  It can become part of Robs legacy as I know he is well missed by all the family, his oldest and newer friends and all who were struck by his humanity, his humour, his intelligence, his handsome being and his capacity to love even though that love excluded himself.

Go fund me makes me set a goal but really I'd be happy with anything as we are humble, people and our lifestyle is within our means.  What matters most is that feeling of security for Charlie right now.   Life is fragile and full of good and bad surprises and we do our best to remain positive and still see life as beautiful.  We endeavour to always be grateful for each other and to wake up each day strong and ready to face what we must.