Burke Adoption Fund Round 2...

We are Ollie and Charla Burke and are grateful that you have taken the time to stop by. If this is the first time you are getting to know us we'd love to share with you our story. 

From the beginning of our relationship we have always known that we have wanted to grow our family and be parents. The journey for us has not been easy, but we are confident God has us on the right path.  

The Beginning: 2022

After years of trying to conceive, we saw a fertility doctor to determine why we were having such difficulty. Due to Charla's complex medical history as a result of her childhood Cancer, we were referred to the University of Minnesota for some testing - which resulted in further procedures and surgeries. Long story short, it was determined that it was unsafe for Charla (& the baby) to carry a child. If you would like to read more about our story you can find it here >> https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/charlaolson/journal. 

After taking the year to grieve our news and what we thought would be how we'd grow our family, we have finally come to THIS moment. We're more than ready and know that this is the right time, and we're so excited to say we've officially started the adoption process!

We considered adopting through CH/LSS but since we have felt it in our hearts to adopt a child in the age range of newborn to two years old, we were informed that we would be on a long (as in several years) waiting list. Since this door seems closed to us at this moment, we considered pursuing private adoption. As you can imagine, this is a costly endeavor and we could use your help. Ultimately we believe that every human being is valued and deserves to be loved and we have felt the push to be a home for a child and a safe and loving answer for a mother who chooses us. We have found an agency in Minnesota, Adoption MN, which focuses on domestic, infant adoption. We believe with our whole hearts this is where we're meant to be and are excited to work with them. They have a good reputation and work exclusively with Planned Parenthood. 

This brings us to where we are today and why we need to crowdfund. 

These funds will cover all FIXED agency expenses, the counseling for the birth mom and our legal expenses.  In MN we are also responsible for covering the birth mother's living / housing & medical expenses in full throughout the third trimester and recovery (up to 4-6 weeks after birth). We are very supportive of this approach as this is a tangible way to support her and ease her burdens as she makes the decision to choose life. This amount is "actual cost" but could be estimated around $15,000 additionally.

This Last Year: 2024

In May of 2024 we were selected to be birthparents to a baby girl (we did not hesitate to find out the gender) that was going to be born near the end of June! The birth mother was going to let us chose her name, she would be staying in our hospital room, we could keep all her hospital belongings and this would be a closed adoption (this was something we were flexible on based on what the mother wanted). The only thing she asked was that while she was pregnant we did not communicate with her, but all communication went through the attorneys.

How excited we were - our gender neutral nursery quickly became filled with dresses, bows and lots of pink! We finally had the courage to tell our families and friends the news we had so desperately had wanted to share. We started to make our baby registry, plan baby showers and paid all our final expenses to the adoption agency, attorneys and the birthmother.

At the beginning of June we got a call from our attorney that the birthfather was registered on the MFAR (and was so back in March of this year). The MFAR is what I describe as a safety net for men to have a choice in the decision on regarding their 'supposed' children, whether it's choosing to raise them, be part of the adoption process or ultimately deny paternity rights. I say 'supposed' as they will need to do a paternity test. We knew that if the birthfather wanted to raise her, we knew the right thing to do was to keep them together and our decision would not fight him on the adoption or make it difficult for him.

We served the birthfather with the adoption petition and informed him that there was an adoption taking place. Ollie and I talked and said that if the birthfather wants her that we would not bring the infant home while he waited for the paternity test. Having her here and then having her taken would be heartbreaking. After conversations with him he informed the adoption agency and the attorneys that he wanted to raise his daughter. She was planned and wanted, and he did not want to place her for adoption. This was heartbreaking to hear but we still proceeded forward until we knew for a fact that this was still his intentions and he was going to move forward with this action.

At the end of June the birthmother had the baby at a hospital and informed everyone she had decided to place baby girl as a 'Safe Haven' baby. Our adoption agency informed us at this point they would no longer be working with her as she decided she no longer was pursing adoption. I felt alone but knew I needed to advocate for this baby girl and I asked if the birthmother would be willing to talk to with me, which she agreed to over text. My main priority was ensuring the baby was healthy but ultimately I was avoiding this baby going into foster care, because being a Safe Haven baby this is what this would lead to. I begged (literally) for the birth mom not to do this approach, I provided a few other options but she had made her decision. She did tell me we could call the hospital and ask if a 'Safe Haven' baby was left there and emergency foster her, this would allow us to adopt her (basically finding a loop hole in the system). Knowing what we knew about the birth father stepping forward and registering, this was something we could not even consider, ethically or morally. Within 48 hours of her being born, we ended our communication with the birthmother, had another conversation with the birthfather to make sure he still planned on raising her (which his answer was 'yes'), pulled our adoption petition from the courts and started to process the grief of losing what we thought was our daughter.

I was told by our adoption agency, the attorneys, and some family to walk away from the situation and not to reach out to any of them again. In August, I had this strong urge to reach out to the birthfather, but wasn't sure what I would say...but it kept weighing on me. I let him know who I was, congratulated him on becoming a dad and shared that I was not upset or angry with his decision but respected him even more. We talked for awhile and through our conversations I learned he did not have his baby girl however he had a court date later in the month to request his paternity test. The court date came and went and I reached out to ask how it went...I mean it's basically a yes or no answer. His response shocked me, he stated they didn't know where the baby was!!! How can that happen. At this point, I knew I had a lot of information about the baby from my previous conversation with the birthmother, so I shared that with the birthfather. This allowed him to find her in 2 DAYS!!

Days later he shared he found out, she was in the process of being adopted out by the foster family. You see, state statue for children left at Safe Havens states 2 days after they are dropped, all parental rights are waved and the child can be placed for adoption without notifying anyone. I explained to the birthfather that MN state law states Safe Haven babies can't be born in a hospital and left in a hospital, this was something my attorneys shared with me and something I tried to explain to the birthmother. I told his attorneys to look into it.

In mid-September, I connected with the birthfather and he shared that they struggled to find the birth records and the county is saying that the baby wasn't born at the hospital making the Safe Haven law not applicable. This also is not true, and my communication with the birthmother proved this based on the type of birth. I also shared I knew that the hospital was holding filing the babies birth records for 5 additional days after she was being born.

In October I wrote a letter to the courts sharing who I was, my experience in the case and how heavy my heart is for EVERYONE involved. Just before Thanksgiving the birthfather was denied a paternity test for this child stating that there is no evidence that the child was born at the hospital (though there is text evidence from the birthmother showing that this is true).

Fostering is all about reunification with the birthparents and this has not happened here. The foster parents are not looking at what is in the best interest for this child. This father is a firefighter and an EMT, both of which are heroic jobs. This is a very sad situation for so many families and more pain and hurt than anyone could ever imagine. He is still fighting for her.

I know why God chose us for this situation. I believe he's had me help keep this dad and daughter together, I strongly believe most people would have followed the advice and not reached out. He's been fighting like crazy for her and she is beyond blessed to have him love her so strongly.

As of Today: December 2024 - 2025

The relationship with our adoption agency officially ended in September of 2024. We had such a dramatic loss financially with this failed adoption and how it works is when we go to a new agency we incur all the costs again.

We have had so many people pour out, pray, and reach out to us and said don't give up. This is something that we have talked about and are going to try and give one more shot at. We do need to come up with the money and this is the only thing that will hold us back at this point. We know that we love any child or children, that is placed in our home immensely.

We are so incredibly grateful for all of the generosity, support and encouragement that has been given to us over the past 11 years. It has been a trying road to say the least but we are encouraged by this new door opening and we look forward to the day that we welcome a little one into our home.

 

Please keep us, our future baby and our future baby's birth family in your prayers. We’d love for you to help spread the word and share our story.

 

Thank you!!

Ollie & Charla