- K
- A
Hello friends and family… Can I start by saying thank you for your time and consideration while you read my thoughts, needs, and concern. While I am not the type that typically asks for help, I have come to the realization that to make my greatest want a reality, I must humble myself and ask for help.
To make a LONG story short:
Many of you know that in 2010 my two youngest children traveled to Brazil with a family friend to visit their father’s family. Never expected that it would be the last time I saw them. They never came back. Now at the time, I must admit, some of my life choices may have been questionable and my ex had no confidence in my ability to parent my children during his absence (he was in prison). I know, I know, I had the same thoughts myself. How could he question my parenting from a federal prison? But getting into a blame game has got me nowhere and I have learned over the years, blame solves NOTHING!
When my ex was released from prison, he was allowed to make trips to and from Brazil to visit the children. The courts showed him grace and allowed him to keep his residency and green card status. After travelling back and forth on three different occasions (of course, unbeknownst to me!) during his fourth trip to Brazil, upon his return he was stopped by customs and it was there that they took upon themselves the authority to remove his traveling VISA, took his green card, and denied his passport and entry into the US. Basically, HE WAS DEPORTED. Keep in mind that at this time we were still married and my children were still in Brazil!!
It is now 2019, just over 9 years later and I still have not seen my children. There have been multiple times I have pleaded and begged for him to send them here for a visitation, however, without permission to travel within the US, he continues to refuse to let them come. His fear, that I will not return them. Although I can see why he is concerned, I would be too! However, at this point in my life, it is no longer about what I want or what he wants. I realize now that my children have been raised most of their lives within the Brazilian culture. I will not be the one to take that away! My love for them is greater than my need.
But because of this and my willingness to let go of the fight, I am unable to see them unless I travel to Brazil myself. Sounds pretty easy! Not so much… The cost for travel tickets alone is close to $2,000!!! And that is not to mention the cost when I am there, the loss of wages, as well as maintaining my home while I am gone (i.e. rent, utilities, phone bills, insurance, etc.). Altogether, I am guessing the trip could cost me close to $5,000-$6,000!
My goal is to visit my children for the first time in nearly a decade this next January. My mother’s heart is desperate. My oldest daughter Yasmine has barely a fragment of a memory of me and my baby Matheus only remembers me through Yasmine’s stories. It is hard. I find myself pushing them farther and farther from my thoughts because life without them is just so impossible. Losing them the first time spun me into a deep sea of nothingness and depression that ultimately destroyed me. I am praying and holding onto the promise of my God, that He works ALL THINGS FOR MY GOOD! I just want to see them, to touch them, to hold them, to smell them, and to kiss them. That’s not too much to want.
So, I am asking my friends and family to consider helping me reunite with my 2 heartbeats… Thank you!
To make a LONG story short:
Many of you know that in 2010 my two youngest children traveled to Brazil with a family friend to visit their father’s family. Never expected that it would be the last time I saw them. They never came back. Now at the time, I must admit, some of my life choices may have been questionable and my ex had no confidence in my ability to parent my children during his absence (he was in prison). I know, I know, I had the same thoughts myself. How could he question my parenting from a federal prison? But getting into a blame game has got me nowhere and I have learned over the years, blame solves NOTHING!
When my ex was released from prison, he was allowed to make trips to and from Brazil to visit the children. The courts showed him grace and allowed him to keep his residency and green card status. After travelling back and forth on three different occasions (of course, unbeknownst to me!) during his fourth trip to Brazil, upon his return he was stopped by customs and it was there that they took upon themselves the authority to remove his traveling VISA, took his green card, and denied his passport and entry into the US. Basically, HE WAS DEPORTED. Keep in mind that at this time we were still married and my children were still in Brazil!!
It is now 2019, just over 9 years later and I still have not seen my children. There have been multiple times I have pleaded and begged for him to send them here for a visitation, however, without permission to travel within the US, he continues to refuse to let them come. His fear, that I will not return them. Although I can see why he is concerned, I would be too! However, at this point in my life, it is no longer about what I want or what he wants. I realize now that my children have been raised most of their lives within the Brazilian culture. I will not be the one to take that away! My love for them is greater than my need.
But because of this and my willingness to let go of the fight, I am unable to see them unless I travel to Brazil myself. Sounds pretty easy! Not so much… The cost for travel tickets alone is close to $2,000!!! And that is not to mention the cost when I am there, the loss of wages, as well as maintaining my home while I am gone (i.e. rent, utilities, phone bills, insurance, etc.). Altogether, I am guessing the trip could cost me close to $5,000-$6,000!
My goal is to visit my children for the first time in nearly a decade this next January. My mother’s heart is desperate. My oldest daughter Yasmine has barely a fragment of a memory of me and my baby Matheus only remembers me through Yasmine’s stories. It is hard. I find myself pushing them farther and farther from my thoughts because life without them is just so impossible. Losing them the first time spun me into a deep sea of nothingness and depression that ultimately destroyed me. I am praying and holding onto the promise of my God, that He works ALL THINGS FOR MY GOOD! I just want to see them, to touch them, to hold them, to smell them, and to kiss them. That’s not too much to want.
So, I am asking my friends and family to consider helping me reunite with my 2 heartbeats… Thank you!