Hi, my name is Venessa. I’m a mother writing on behalf of my two youngest sons.

Their father, Doug, died unexpectedly. In the days that followed, my boys experienced something no children should: not only the loss of their dad, but the feeling that their place in his story was quietly disappearing.

They were not able to attend their father’s funeral. His passing moved forward without their presence, and without recognition of their need to say goodbye. In that absence, something essential was missing — acknowledgment that these boys existed, that they loved their father, and that they deserved to grieve him too.

As their mother, I created a memorial space so their grief would have somewhere to land. A place where they could talk to their dad, leave drawings, and feel that he still belongs with them. That space became necessary because, without it, their loss felt erased rather than honored.

But the memorial is still unfinished.

Doug’s ashes, the last physical connection his children have to him - are not there. And without them, my sons feel that their father has not truly been brought "home" to them. The erasure they felt early on continues, not through words, but through absence.

This fundraiser is to help cover the legal and administrative costs required to secure my children’s right to their father’s remains — so their grief can be acknowledged fully, and their place in his story can be restored.

This isn’t about conflict.

It isn’t about blame.

It’s about ensuring that children are not erased from their own father’s life — or death.

If you’re able to help by donating or sharing, you’re helping two boys reclaim something that should never have been taken from them: the right to remember, to mourn, and to belong.

Thank you for holding us with compassion.

With gratitude,

Venessa