Today is my 32nd birthday. To the outside world, I'm a mother to three bright, energetic boys, a wife to an incredibly supportive husband, and a qualified Somatic Trauma Therapist. But beneath the surface of the ordinary life I've fought to build, my body carries the silent, heavy scars of a war that began before I even knew my multiplication tables.

I'm stepping into the light today to raise vital funds for Rape Crisis England & Wales, because I know intimately what it feels like to drown in the torturing pain of sexual abuse, and I know the agonizing strength it takes for survivors to just get up and keep breathing every single day.

My childhood innocence wasn't just lost, it was systematically stolen by two different men.

I was only six years old, on a family holiday at a caravan park. I was just a little girl playing, crawling through a tunnel under a playground slide. Out of nowhere, a grown man pinned my tiny body to the floor and began stripping my clothes off. I was paralyzed with confusion and terror. By some miracle, my Nan came looking for me and found us before he could go any further. The man fled, but the biological blueprint of hyper-vigilance was permanently stamped into my six-year-old nervous system.

The true shatter point came at nine years old. A man who lived directly across the road from our family home was trusted to look after me and my younger brother overnight. That night became an absolute living nightmare. He targeted me, violating my boundaries in the worst way imaginable.

My little brother was asleep in the room right next door with the man’s son. Every cell in my body screamed to run, scream, and fight back. But a terrifying clarity took overn I believed with absolute certainty that this man would kill me if I made a sound, and I refused to run away and leave my little brother unprotected in that house. To ensure we both survived that night and made it back across the road alive, I forced my body to endure the unendurable. I did whatever it took to keep us safe.

Living in a Ghost Shell, for decades, I never received a single hour of therapy, support, or validation. Nobody talked about it, I swallowed the horror, locked my jaw, and assumed that living in a constant state of internal terror was completely "normal." But the body keeps the score.

In 2023, the dam finally broke. My nervous system collapsed under the weight of the unspent adrenaline, and I was clinically diagnosed with Severe Anxiety, Depression, and Complex PTSD (C-PTSD).

The pain wasn't just psychological, it was a physical, torturing agony. I woke up nightly gasping for air, choked out by horrific nightmares. The flashbacks were constant, looping movie clips that hijacked my vision. The fear of just existing felt so unbearable that I plummeted into deep suicidal ideation.

I looked in the mirror and genuinely didn't know who I was. I didn't know how to carry on living.

I am only standing here today because of the absolute sanctuary of my family. My three beautiful boys gave me an unshakeable purpose to stay on this earth. My amazing husband became my anchor, walking through the literal trenches of my flashbacks with a level of love and support that saved my life.

To save myself and protect my children’s childhoods, I moved out of my head and down into my biology. I trained in Somatic Bodywork Therapy. I learned that my childhood "freeze" response wasn't weakness, it was a brilliant biological emergency brake that encapsulated the horror so my soul could survive. Through somatic release and breathwork, I finally thawed the ice in my tissues, discharged the decades of trapped panic, and reclaimed my sovereignty.

Why I Need Your Help Today - I am one of the lucky ones. I survived the dark, broke the generational cycle of abuse, and found my voice. But right now, across England and Wales, thousands of women, girls, and children are sitting in that exact dark room I used to inhabit. They are waking up gasping for air tonight, feeling dirty, isolated, and completely worthless after a vile act of violence.

Rape Crisis England & Wales provides the life-saving, specialized, trauma-informed support that survivors desperately need to crawl out of the ash.

For my 32nd birthday, I don't want gifts. I want justice, healing, and resources for survivors. Every single penny raised from this page goes directly to Rape Crisis to fund helplines, specialist counseling, and advocacy support.

It takes an ungodly amount of warrior strength to survive sexual assault and keep going. Let’s match their strength with our generosity. Please donate whatever you can, whether it is £5 or £50 to help another soul realize that the war is over, and they are safe to come home to their body.

Thank you for backing my story, and thank you for helping me give back. ❤️‍