Blakely, Our Wandering Wildflower

Our daughter, Blakely, was born September 6th, 2019. The first year of her little life was as expected. She was an extremely happy baby. However, her dad and I started to notice that when the typical time for milestones was expected, Blakely was always “behind” anticipated baby development.

When she turned one, she was babbling – saying “mama” and “dada.” When she turned 18 months, she went through a regression and became nonverbal, no longer saying anything or even “babbling.” Her only form of communication for months was a high-pitched scream. Whether she was happy, sad, needed something, excited, any emotion she felt, she screamed to communicate she was in need of us.

With her delayed development and regression, I suspected something more was going on. I visited with Blakely’s family nurse practitioner about my concerns. She referred us to a pediatrician, who then sent us to Children’s Hospital for a hearing test, to determine if that was part of the problem. While we waited for the results, we started Blakely with both speech and occupational therapy.

In April of 2022 we received her auditory test results. It was not a hearing issue. We next made an appointment for an autism test. Late April of 2022, she was formally diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 3. With this diagnosis, she was eligible to begin Early Childhood Special Education within our school district. On September 7th, 2022, the day after she turned three, she started elementary school full time.

Blakely’s diagnosis not only affects her but our entire family. Daily life with her is pretty challenging, having to constantly watch her closely to make sure she is safe and always on guard to chase after.

The effects of Blakely’s behavior stretch our means to meet the needs and activities of our other four children, thus adding to our worries and stress levels. This also affects extended family, as everyone tries to be helpful.

Over the last two school years, Blakely has gone from not communicating at all, to saying one, two, and sometimes three words together. She is still considered nonverbal due to her inability to communicate her wants and needs such as physical pain, frustration, overstimulation, etc.

However, Blakely is very intelligent; she knows her letters, numbers and has recently started to read words. Her speech and occupational therapies have done wonders for her, and she has grown in every aspect.

Blakely has absolutely no sense or awareness of danger. In autism terms, she is considered an “eloper,” meaning she runs off, wanders or bolts at every opportunity. In July of 2024, Blakely escaped the house around 10pm. The cops were called immediately. Meanwhile, our whole family and all our friends banded together and got to our home within minutes. We searched by foot, in ATV’s, and in vehicles. Blakely was found down the county road about half a mile.

The day following this incident, an alarm system was donated to us and installed in our home, including sensors on the doors and windows. If opened, the alarm blares loudly enough that our home and surrounding acreage is alerted. We also purchased security cameras.

In August of 2024, Blakely was playing outside with two of her older sisters. Her sisters came inside for just a few split seconds. When her sisters went back outside, Blakely had vanished. We called our neighboring family and immediately started a search of our properties, again. After not finding her within about ten minutes, we called the police. The game warden, local police department, local sheriff’s office, two local fire departments, and county commissioners responded to help with the search. Blakely was missing for an hour in the 100+ Texas heat. One of the searchers found her wandering down a county road behind our property, which had been searched multiple times on foot, ATV’s, and in vehicles. Blakely was examined by paramedics and by God’s grace, she was completely fine, just needing water.

Blakely has proven that when given the slightest window of opportunity, she will bolt without hesitation, unaware of where she is, where she’s going, or how to get home. She is totally oblivious of the pending dangers that we know exist with a missing child. The recent addition of the security system and cameras, which help when she is locked inside the house, are not sufficient when she is playing outside even with her siblings as playmates.

These two terrifying episodes do not include other times or places Blakely has managed to elude supervision. However, they are the most significant and a parent’s worst nightmare. We don’t typically take Blakely anywhere unless it’s absolutely unavoidable. I will not go into stores with her and we try not to bring her to her siblings’ practices or sporting events, knowing her sensory issues and her urge to bolt without warning.

Due to these recent serious events, it has been recommended we build a specialized No Climb Fence for our children’s play area beginning at the front door. We hope to raise funds to accomplish this. When Blakely next manages to flee the house unnoticed, she would be safely detained by this No Climb Fence. Some autistic children never outgrow the urge to elope, so this is something we could be dealing with forever.

Another recommendation is to get Blakely a specialized service dog trained as a companion for autistic children. These animals are trained to be a tether for their child, especially out in public. They also have tracking capabilities and serve as an anchor for autistic children who run, plus several other abilities. A service dog would help Blakely better cope in her world, learn to socialize, guide her to make better decisions, and comfort her as needed, especially at bedtime or during a meltdown.

For now we are looking at putting a no climb fence at the entrance of our house as a second form of safety should she get out. This expense could be anywhere from $5,000-$9,000 and the service dog could be upwards of $25,000. We will start a GoFundMe and will also be having events to raise money towards this goal. This is not something we are prepared for but neither is losing our daughter.

Thank you for reading Blakely’s story and we hope you will follow along with us as her story unfolds.✨