After getting married in 2012, we decided to wait to try and have a baby. We wanted to buy a house and I wanted to wait until I got back from a mission trip to Tanzania, Africa the summer of 2014. Although Christopher Michael would have loved to have kids right away, he agreed to wait until I got back. We began trying almost immediately. A year without children became two, then three, then four. Cue infertility.
Can I just say infertility really stinks! It is something we would never wish on our worse enemy. These past four years have been very trying for both of us. It has been our faith and the support of family and friends that have helped us through. For those who have never experienced it, infertility is filled with sadness, grief, loneliness, shame, and constant disappointment. For years, I told no one, ashamed that as a woman I was unable to have a child. Chris also felt the guilt and pain. He wanted nothing more than to be a dad. I may be biased as his wife, but I wanted nothing more than to see him as a dad because I knew he would be the best at it. It comes naturally for him. He has always been the "kid magnet", the one who makes them laugh and brings a smile to their faces. People would ask us, "When are you having kids?" and we would respond, "Hopefully one day". Inside though we felt like saying, "We are trying and it just isn't happening!" People tell us all the time, "You two would make such great parents!" To most that would be a compliment; however, as the struggle with infertility continued it unfortunately became a comment we wished we didn't hear. It was just a reminder that we weren't parents. This journey for us has been filled with sleepless nights asking why. I can't tell you the number of nights I cried myself to sleep over yet another failed pregnancy test.
And then there was always the questioning, "Why us?" We go to church, lead youth group, work at a K-5 alternative school for children who have significant social, emotional, and behavioral issues, most of which have experienced some type of trauma, we help out in our community. I have worked with children, youth and adults with special needs, volunteered at a therapeutic riding center, sat on the board of a nonprofit foundation to end human sex trafficking, delivered backpacks to children in Dominican Republic, played with children in an orphanage in Tanzania, and more. We do all of it, expecting nothing in return. That is until we began questioning why this was happening to us. We couldn't comprehend was how two people who love children as much as we do were unable to get pregnant. We have wanted to be parents for as long as we both could imagine...so why us?
It took a long time for us to realize that the plan we had for ourselves was not the plan God had in mind for us. Cue adoption. Adoption was always something we discussed. We wanted to have kids of our own and adopt. However, after almost giving IVF a try, a sudden change of heart occurred. For me it was one of those God moments. Both Chris and I felt like IVF just wasn't the answer. IVF could not guarantee us our dream of becoming parents. Adoption could though. Through adoption we could have the family we have always wanted. We could become parents to baby who needed a home.
We began researching and realized that domestic infant adoption was the route we wanted to take. What we didn't realize is that adoption is very expensive! Cue Baby Gill Adoption Fund.
I am a Special Education Teacher and my husband is a Crisis Assistant at the same alternative school. He also has a mosquito spraying business for the off season when we aren't teaching. Needless to say a domestic infant adoption with a price tag of $30,000-$40,000 is a little out of the budget to say the least. After researching one of the suggestions was crowd fundraising. At first, we were very hesitate to start a fundraiser. We weren't sure if we really wanted to share our story, but the more we talked, the more we realized how important it was to share our story. Our hope is two fold. We hope that others going through a similar thing can find healing and comfort in knowing that they are not alone. We also hope that we can bring a baby into a loving, supportive, caring home without bringing ourselves into serious debt.
For those who choose to donate, the money will go towards all adoption costs. At this point we do not know the full costs as we are at the beginning of our adoption journey. Through research, agencies say that the entire process from beginning to end is between $30,000-$40,000.
Our dream is to be parents and by donating you will help make that dream a reality. Your donation will also help assure that a baby in need of a home will be going to the most loving and caring environment! We can assure you of that! We cannot thank you enough for your support! We are excited to grow our family and can't wait for the day that Baby Gill actually arrives.
We intend to update the page throughout our adoption journey, so please check back.
With love, hope, and very grateful hearts,
Nicole and Chris
P.S. If you feel so inclined, please share this page with your friends and family.
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