Help Ashley get back the control to protect her mom

During the summer of 2000, while visiting my father over the break, my mother, Michelle, (29 years old) had come to pick me up in New Mexico to head back to Alaska where we lived. I was 13 years old at this time. Unfortunately, we did not make it back home. We had a car accident on August 21, 2000, that left my mother in a vegetative state, following a traumatic brain injury. I was hospitalized in a local hospital, meanwhile, worried about my mother who I was unable to receive any information on. As a minor, I was unaware of all the legalities of the situation and my maternal grandmother decided to try and save my mother despite all the doctors’ recommendations at the time. My mother has since been in a vegetative state and requires 24/hr. skilled nursing care. Her life was cut extremely short, and all her hopes and dreams vanished on this hot, summer day. Her wish not to be left in such a state was also ignored by the family.

At the age of just 22 years old, I became her Guardian. While still living in New Mexico, I was appointed to oversee her care and be present at all cost. I have taken this responsibility seriously the entire time I was in control and visited my mother on a weekly bases. Starting as a young teenager, up until now, 16 years later, I am still present and helping oversee my mother’s care. My mother is non-verbal, bedridden, is fed through a G-Tube, and is 100% incapacitated. She does respond with emotion and can laugh, smile, or cry with me and my two daughters. We have been her light and the only form of life she has left. I feel we owe that to her.

But… things drastically changed when I made the decision to relocate to Texas from New Mexico. I was given a job opportunity and, in the year of 2020, I made a life changing decision to move to the Lubbock area. COVID was still fairly new, so I was not able to do anything in the year of 2020, I had to wail until 2021 to move my mother with me to a nursing facility in Lubbock. Prior to this move, I was already kept away from the facility due to COVID precautions, nearly a year. I missed my mother! In July 2021, I moved my mother to Lubbock Health Care Center where they claimed they would and could meet her needs. It wasn’t until she was placed in their care that I quickly realized this was all but true! My mother was purposely neglected and abused by the staff at this facility. I became a target once they knew I was the one in and out and checking on my mother and being the voice, she doesn’t have. Still the same person as I was in New Mexico, I would try to advocate for my mother and care for my mother as all the years prior, but I became a target. My mother spent month after month neglected, abused and hospital dumped, which was also new to me, I never knew what hospital dumping meant. I did my due diligence and contacted our local Ombudsman who was not very helpful, so I went above her and contacted our state Ombudsman out of Austin, TX. She gave me some very helpful information and did mention that these facilities have to follow practical guidelines and that this facility was not. Needless to say, the abuse/neglect continued to happen, and I had to visit my mother more frequently in the hospital. I found it difficult to remove my mother from that facility and place her into another one after reading the falsified charts that were being documented by the staff causing my mother to be permanently blacklisted all across the county and surrounding counties. I became very concerned as I am a single mother of two daughters, and I couldn’t see how taking my mother home to care for her would be an option. I continued to fight this battle. During her last hospital stay, in tears in the ER, I begged her doctor to please help me get her out of there and place her into another facility. Luckily, with his help, we were successful.

During the early part of 2022, my mother was placed into Lakeside Rehabilitation and Care Center. I walked in very cautious and had a guard up as you could imagine. I immediately introduced myself and my private caregiver to their staff. I wanted everyone to get on the same page for my mother’s sake. I attended her care plan meetings regularly, I voiced any concerns, and we worked as team to help resolve them. There were a few issues, but over time we got them resolved, nothing that couldn’t be worked out. Me and my two daughters, Emery and Nevaeh, still visiting regularly, we also did my mother’s laundry. I kept up with her care, hair appointments, feeding times, shower times, etc. My mother was on a better path, and it was great to see her smile again.

In June/July of 2023, the facility gained new staff. This is where the story becomes traumatizing. After voicing concern about my mother’s bleeding ear that was never reported or treated by a new nurse, I requested my mother be sent to a local hospital to be assessed/treated. They confirmed my mother had a ruptured ear. They started her on antibiotics. I was out of town over this weekend, but my nightshift caregiver sat with her and ensured she was being cared for. When I returned to work the following Monday, I received a call from the Administrator of the facility stating that they will be issuing out a 30-day discharge and when I asked why, I was told, “due to the events over the weekend.” The events she spoke of would be the night I walked in and found her ear bleeding and requested my mother to be sent out to be assessed. During the time I was away, my night caregiver, had some problems with the new nurse after trying to get information on the pain meds my mother was receiving. She refused to give that information to my caregiver even though I was the one inquiring. This same nurse gave my caregiver a hard time when she tried to put a fitted sheet on her air mattress. She tried to accuse my caregiver of taking my mother outside without oxygen on, however, the picture I received earlier that day, can prove otherwise. Let me note, prior to this, we never had this many issues with the previous staff.

Long story short, they failed to listen to my concerns when I spoke to the staff and would not let me, or my caregivers speak causing us to be removed from the facility. Come to find out the new DON and that the same nurse are friends and work hand in hand. Nothing they did was for the benefit of my mother as their patient. The same evening, I sent my oldest child in, Emery, who was 16 at the time, to check on my mother since we were removed from the facility. My daughter took photos of my mother and texted me telling me that she needed to be suctioned, yet the nurse was giving her a hard time about it. My daughter picked up my mother’s clothes and we left. The following day, we go back to the facility to drop off clean laundry. It was my father, both children and my friend, who went into the facility to check on my mom while I waited outside. My friend helped get my camera connected in the room (that this facility was aware of) to connect to my phone. Once we left the facility, we were about a block away, and I received a call from Janet, the Administrator. At this point I began recording. She said, “Ashley, we are sending your mother to the hospital.” I asked, “why?” Janet, “because someone unplugged her oxygen.” I replied, “that’s not a reason to send her to the hospital, plug it back in!” (I had not looked at the camera at this time). Janet, “nope, we got the order, we are sending her out.” I told my father something didn’t sound right to go back. As soon as we arrived back to the facility, we were sworn by the Lubbock Police Department! I was in complete shock! Sgt. Sullivan, walks up near my side of the truck stating, “when I show up, things happen!” He proceeded to the facility. We were told we were being detained and that this was being “investigated.” After over an hour, Sgt. Sullivan proceeds to tell me that they are going to arrest my daughter, Emery, for abuse against the elderly, which is a FELONY charge!! I tried to show the Sgt. my videos of the room prior showing only the nurse in the room messing with my mother’s oxygen tank and how my father and both kids and a friend were all in the room and my mother was fine at this time. No one touched her oxygen tank other than the nurse. He refused to look at my video and arrested my daughter! My child had to be booked into jail and I was told that she would have to appear in front of the judge by 10AM if there was no dismissal from the DA’s office! I was a nervous wreck, and I felt 100% guilty for sending my child into the facility to check in on my mother and put up her laundry.

The following day, which was Wednesday, I hurried my way down to the jail house to get my daughter. Again, at this time nothing came in from the DA’s office. I told them I would sit there and wait all day if I had to. Moments later, a lady brings me a letter from the DA’s office dismissing any charges against my daughter! I was extremely relieved! I got my kid out immediately. While we were driving home, she told me to look at her arm. She stated they gave her a vaccine in jail! Remind you… she is a minor at this point! Here we are almost 2 years later, and I still don’t know what vaccine she received in jail.

My mother was still sent to Covenant hospital against my will for her. This facility had a plan to get rid of her and leave her under Covenants care. Again, there was no medical need to send her there, but they did. This resulted in a 5 ½ month stay! It was a living nightmare. We were up against another battle in placement. Due to the white lies and defamation, we had nowhere to go all over again. Covenant hospital also played part in this and charted my mother was a “suspect of abuse” knowing charges were dismissed on my child. This caused further hardships in placement for my mother. Towards the end, once the hospital was no longer getting paid for my mother’s stay, they proceeded to ask me to take my mother home. I explained that it is not an option due to me working a FT job and caring for my kids. I also didn’t have the facilities to care for my mother in my home. Months’ worth back and forth communicating with the case workers, and me expressing concern on placement, my concerns were ignored. I wanted my mother’s chart to be updated and have the history removed stating she was a “suspect of abuse.” I also requested writing from them when they told me they just needed to ensure charges were dismissed first, yet I have nothing in writing. Everything that has happened has been a coverup and I have not been able to get anything in writing. I have requested the body cam footage and it was also denied. During this time, there was only one accepting facility in Portales, NM. I had great concern of this move since I live near Lubbock and that would be too far to travel to keep up with her care. My concerns were again ignored. Covenant then filed a grievance on my Guardianship trying to state I was “not being cooperative in placement.” Failing to realize that I never sent my mother to them in the first place, the nursing home did against my word. The judge that took this case failed to listen to my concerns on sending my mother so far and I was ordered to send her to Portales, NM.

December 27, 2023, my mother arrived in Portales. March 2024, she was airlifted to Amarillo hospital with sepsis, aspirated pneumonia, bed bug bites and a UTI. She was extremely sick. They sent her back to Portales NM after a couple weeks. A few months later, she was airlifted to Covenant hospital, again, severely sick.

The circle continued. We were right back where we started with Covenant hospital. This time, once my mother was healed, we were up against the same battle – finding placement for my mother. Being that the judge and everyone didn’t care to listen to my concerns, this caused further and unnecessary hardships on me finding placement. I started making calls, traveling to some facilities to drop off paperwork, researched my options to bring her home, I was doing what I could in order to keep my mother close. During this time, Covenant filed another Guardianship grievance on me. Trying to claim I was not being “cooperative in placement” and that I was “not communicative by phone” which is also false! I kept a running log during all this time and documented anytime I spoke to anyone. Due to these two grievances filed that were false, I lost my Guardianship over my mother. Again, no one wanted to listen to my valid concerns.

My mother’s life has now been left in the hands of her sister-in-law who had no involvement in my mother’s life the last 15 years, hence the reason I felt the need to move my mother with me to Texas. My mother’s family, who reside in Artesia, NM, did not visit my mother 30 miles away hardly at all during that time. It was solely me and my two children and one aunt who is not even blood related. Other than that, no one came around 15 years after I became Guardian full time.

My mother has since been placed in a facility in Coleman Texas which is even further than Portales, NM was from me. My voice was ignored once again when expressing concern with distance, however, my aunt was in agreeance to send my mother that far.

My mother arrived in Coleman on Jan 30th, 2025, from Covenant. Jan 31st, she was sent to Colemans hospital with pneumonia. My mother has had nearly 10 hospital visits. She just got out of the hospital after 3 weeks in Brownwood since Coleman failed to treat her. I continue to visit my mother as often as I can, but it is very difficult when I can no longer be the voice she needs. My aunt is not doing her part to ensure her care is met and doesn’t visit. The time she spent in Brownwood hospital, I spoke to several people including the doctors who were glad someone was there to speak with since my mother is non-verbal.

With this said, it has now been brought back to court and I was recently given two options:

1). File for Guardianship in Texas over my mother or

2). They take my mother back to New Mexico to a facility and permanently ban me from seeing my mother a year

I do not understand this concept at all, and I am extremely sickened by our judicial system. It’s been a long 3 years or more that I have been fighting this battle, but my promise to my mother still remains…. I will continue to fight for her until I can’t anymore.

Over the duration of this situation, I searched high and low for a well experienced attorney to help me fight such a crooked system and was unsuccessful. Being told I have such a unique case, yet a good case, got me nowhere. I tried to find help before it was too late, yet self-representation got me nowhere except to lose sight of my mother, which I was afraid of.

Now that these two options are on the table, I would like to do whatever I can to get my rights and voice back for my incapacitated mother. With this comes time and money of course. I have spent hundreds of dollars already on consultations with attorneys in the past who spent an hour on the phone and pocketed my money leaving me no hope.

I now have a different situation to tackle and after speaking to a well-known attorney in NM, she believes she can help get the ball rolling these next 30 days to file a transfer of Guardianship out of NM to TX where I can then find a TX attorney to help me file here.

My hope is to get my Guardianship rights back over my mother so I can continue to oversee her care until her last days. I want my life back and my name cleared for the sake of my mother. I have included some pictures of how I would find my mother in the Lubbock facilities including the dismissal of charges of my child.

As you can imagine, this has been the worst living nightmare that never seems to end. All I want is to be able to live the life I’ve always known since I was 13 years old. To see my mother, tend to her needs, assist her to activities, help staff turn/change her if needed, speak to physicians on her behalf, anything that I can as a loving daughter and Guardian would do.

I am not the person to ask for help. I usually figure hardships out on my own, but this is something that is time sensitive and very important to me. Again, I made a promise to my mother that I would not stop fighting for her as she never wanted to live like this to begin with. It will be 25 years soon that she was left in this state and as you could imagine the hardships, she’s faced including me watching her suffer, yet her beautiful smile reminds me she’s still here for a reason. I don’t know the reasons God has left her this way, all I can do is trust the process. Any amount of help is appreciated, even if it’s a penny.

I appreciate each and every donation and your heart to just listen to our story.

Thank you!

Ashley & Michelle (my mother)

P.S there are so many pictures we ha r of the neglect, injuries, pain she suffers from etc.... if u want to see them all feel free to ask, I try to also spend the news on elderly abuse