Amanda and Jacob's Adoption Journey
Donation protected
My wife and I are adopting a baby!
That's the good news. We're doing it. We've put the fertility pills, the hormone shots, the countless before work meetings at the fertility clinic, and the heartache of the IUI and IVF process behind us. After months of looking at the process of adoption from afar, we've taken the time to truly vet what adoption can bring us and have fallen in love. Quite simply, adoption will be the first step for us towards having a family.
For those of you who are unaware, Amanda and I have been trying to have a baby "the old fashioned way" for roughly three years now. After striking out for our first 8 months, we went to a fertility specialist in nearby Pasadena to see what type of fertility options we had. I quickly found out about Motility and why square heads are worse than round ones when it comes to sperm. And Amanda had the pleasure of being called geriatric at the age of 35. It was eye-opening.
We went through a number of IUI procedures, followed by two IVF cycles, followed by another IUI procedure, followed by another IVF cycle. During this two and half year process I injected what seemed like gallons of hormones into Amanda's backside, and she did her best (she did fantastic) in not showing just how powerful hormone shots like that can be to someone's mood... swings.
TMI time. We had two miscarriages along the way. One pretty early, another late enough that there was a pall over the house for a while. But we pulled ourselves up by the bootstraps and kept our eyes on the prize. That prize being our happiness and future as a family.
This has led us to adoption. We're using a wonderful agency called Adopthelp. Check them out. They're incredible. The site is below.
Adopthelp
We've just finished our profile, basically it's a packet that's akin to a dating profile but for adoptive parents and birth mothers to get together.
I'm linking it here for you guys to look at. That picture up top, that's from our profile.
Jacob and Amanda's Adopthelp Profile
Here's the thing. Adoption is expensive. Like... really expensive. The legal fees, helping the birth mother pay for expenses, it all adds up. The number we've been told to plan for is 35 - 45 thousand dollars.
Amanda and I have spent the majority of our money over the past three years supplementing her great insurance to pay for fertility treatments, so even though we're at a place where we know we are going to adopt, we don't know exactly how we're going to be able to pay for most of it.
To give you an idea of how that number breaks down...
Phase 1 (Advertising, Profile Building, Initial Background, Outreach) - $15,700 (paid)
Phase 2 (Legal fees / birth mother due diligince, resolve conflict of law, personalize adoption plan, case management) - $10,250
Phase 3 (Ongoing birth mother support, adoption finalization, court and case worker fees, birth mother expenses) - $10,000
(And then there are all the other small fees we're paying for our home study, travel and housing at the location of the birth, etc.)
We believe in destiny, and we're destined to have our family, and our happiness, and the happiness of our soon to be newest member, so I refuse to worry too much about the cost, but we want to send this out as a way to allow others to join in on our journey.
See, if you have the means to help us and our birth mother, you become part of our adoptive story. You get to live in our happiness.
We'll use this page to update everyone on the path we're taking. Pictures, journal entries, everything. I can't wait til we get to the finish line and we can show you who we're bringing home, but until then, I'll be sure to keep you busy with all the details along the way.
Best,
Jacob (and Amanda)
That's the good news. We're doing it. We've put the fertility pills, the hormone shots, the countless before work meetings at the fertility clinic, and the heartache of the IUI and IVF process behind us. After months of looking at the process of adoption from afar, we've taken the time to truly vet what adoption can bring us and have fallen in love. Quite simply, adoption will be the first step for us towards having a family.
For those of you who are unaware, Amanda and I have been trying to have a baby "the old fashioned way" for roughly three years now. After striking out for our first 8 months, we went to a fertility specialist in nearby Pasadena to see what type of fertility options we had. I quickly found out about Motility and why square heads are worse than round ones when it comes to sperm. And Amanda had the pleasure of being called geriatric at the age of 35. It was eye-opening.
We went through a number of IUI procedures, followed by two IVF cycles, followed by another IUI procedure, followed by another IVF cycle. During this two and half year process I injected what seemed like gallons of hormones into Amanda's backside, and she did her best (she did fantastic) in not showing just how powerful hormone shots like that can be to someone's mood... swings.
TMI time. We had two miscarriages along the way. One pretty early, another late enough that there was a pall over the house for a while. But we pulled ourselves up by the bootstraps and kept our eyes on the prize. That prize being our happiness and future as a family.
This has led us to adoption. We're using a wonderful agency called Adopthelp. Check them out. They're incredible. The site is below.
Adopthelp
We've just finished our profile, basically it's a packet that's akin to a dating profile but for adoptive parents and birth mothers to get together.
I'm linking it here for you guys to look at. That picture up top, that's from our profile.
Jacob and Amanda's Adopthelp Profile
Here's the thing. Adoption is expensive. Like... really expensive. The legal fees, helping the birth mother pay for expenses, it all adds up. The number we've been told to plan for is 35 - 45 thousand dollars.
Amanda and I have spent the majority of our money over the past three years supplementing her great insurance to pay for fertility treatments, so even though we're at a place where we know we are going to adopt, we don't know exactly how we're going to be able to pay for most of it.
To give you an idea of how that number breaks down...
Phase 1 (Advertising, Profile Building, Initial Background, Outreach) - $15,700 (paid)
Phase 2 (Legal fees / birth mother due diligince, resolve conflict of law, personalize adoption plan, case management) - $10,250
Phase 3 (Ongoing birth mother support, adoption finalization, court and case worker fees, birth mother expenses) - $10,000
(And then there are all the other small fees we're paying for our home study, travel and housing at the location of the birth, etc.)
We believe in destiny, and we're destined to have our family, and our happiness, and the happiness of our soon to be newest member, so I refuse to worry too much about the cost, but we want to send this out as a way to allow others to join in on our journey.
See, if you have the means to help us and our birth mother, you become part of our adoptive story. You get to live in our happiness.
We'll use this page to update everyone on the path we're taking. Pictures, journal entries, everything. I can't wait til we get to the finish line and we can show you who we're bringing home, but until then, I'll be sure to keep you busy with all the details along the way.
Best,
Jacob (and Amanda)
Organizer and beneficiary
Jacob Motz
Organizer
Alhambra, CA
Amanda Donohue
Beneficiary