NB. I am a stay-at-home mom of 4 children who has spent the last decade walking through my journey of healing through a deeper understanding of my own story and childhood grief. Now, I feel a deep calling to walk alongside others on their healing journey, but I need more tools and skills to do so. Last year, I began a two-year certificate training with one of the lead counseling schools in the nation, The Allender Center, whose mission is to "train professionals to listen and enter into stories in a way that facilitates the transformation and hope of the gospel." I desire to complete this two-year program and move more fully into my calling.

Dear Friends,

My journey started a decade ago when I was pregnant with our second child. Previously, I spent ten hours a day on the floor playing with our two-year-old son, Oliver. However, when I became pregnant, there was a sudden shift in our daily rhythms. Morning sickness forced me to spend most of my time in bed while Joel cared for Oliver. However, instead of experiencing rest, I experienced a deep loathing for myself for not being with Oliver that I could not explain.

I started counseling with a woman who walked with me into my personal story. She offered me deep kindness and illuminated themes for me that had never before been named, including understanding my hypervigilance being connected to my son. I labored for a long, painful season with the invitation to grieve the particularities of my own story. Working through grief reoriented my whole life in a way that other types of counseling never had. I began to be able to bless parts of myself for which I had always hated and unravel pieces of me that had unwittingly kept me captive.

Because of my own experience with grief, I feel called to be a modern "Wailing Woman," a reference to a biblical group of Jewish women. These women led people in what feels contradictory: leaning into the pain of grief to find connection and new meaning for life. As an empath, I desire to use my compassion and empathy to hold space for others as they grieve.

This past year, I formally began studying Narrative Focused Trauma Care (NFTC) with The Allender Center, learning how to lead others through their own stories while also continuing to understand my own better. The Allender Center says, "You can only lead people as far as you've gone yourself," and so I continue to engage in my own story while learning to lead others through their own. I have completed the first two years of offered teaching and small group experience, receiving beautiful affirmations from my group that "you are made to do this work" and "this program is exactly for people like you."

I desire to finish the second year of training offered by The Allender Center, which focuses more on grief and allows me to lead others in telling the narrative of their own stories, gaining vital experience as a counselor. However, I need some financial assistance to continue. I am looking to raise $4,495 to help cover the rest of the cost of tuition for 2022-2023, having already been awarded the school's highest scholarship amount of $1,000.

After this year, I hope to be more equipped to invite others into their healing work and be present with them on their journey, particularly in the area of grief. I believe so much in this work; thank you for believing in me and the work I am called to do too!

Love,

Ellen Beckham

*The Allender Center has been so instrumental in understanding my own story. It lives out its mission to invite others to tell their stories "with truth and integrity as we grieve our wounds and offer blessing to the parts of us still bound to the cursed story. As we share our story with trusted others who can name both our deep woundedness and our deep goodness, we grow a deeper capacity to know and live into our calling and engage in life-giving relationships with God and others." You can find more information here on their website: https://theallendercenter.org/about/