Sick Mom, hard times, trying to survive & help her

Thank you to everyone who has helped.

I'm sorry I haven't updated much here or shared it, I struggle a lot to share this or ask for help in any way and always feel bad when ppl do help me. Partly from my upraising I think, but also there are so many other ppl that need even more help than me.

I'm struggling right now, falling behind on some bills and unable to catch up on other things. I know I will have a break from a lot of things in a month or so, my nephew is going to move in and start helping with the rent.

It's been hard to keep enuf food in my house buying from small stores, I'm trying to get a reliable vehicle so I can get around, I'm in the middle of nowhere. Feeling better myself a little, i want to eat better but i have little to no cookware or utensiles, cat litter and dog/cat food i need to buy from bigger stores and get more of (I'd never let the babies go without, but small bags from small stores is hard to keep up with and costs a lot more). I have a car insurance payment next week, I don't know how I'll pay that. It's just rough all over.

I'm trying to peice a life together from broken remnants. For all I've been through, done and as many times I've stumbled and came close to entirely giving up, I'm not doing that bad nowadays compared to the mess I have been. Although I am constantly struggling to keep my head above water and not fall backwards.

My mother is dying, slowly getting worse with small cell carcinoma cancer throughout most of her body, there was a small bit of hope with something she could try in Boston, but she would have to move down there and it was only a small chance that it could prolong her life a little longer, she didn't want to leave home.

She helped me escape from my Abusive father close to 10 years ago, the same thing she did 20 years before that. I spent a few years thinking I could fix myself, but slowly realized it wasn't going to happen. So I started seeing docs to get help with a long list of things, many I didn't even know I had. My Mom helped me the entire way.

I started feeling better, doing better and I thought I was beginning to heal, like I might have a chance to be a full person, when Moms diagnosis came and knocked me into a dark hole.

I'm doing my best to hold together, if only for her as she worries so much about me and if I'll be ok cuz I never was in the past.

I'm not sure what else to write.

Any questions, I'd be happy to answer or chat.

Thank you all