On April 4th my husband had a PTSD episode that resulted in violence and property destruction. He has served 3 tours oversees and is a disabled combat veteran. Three of our children were there, and the oldest was already at school. They saw my husband come out of the house with two pistols. He was attempting suicide by cop. When he saw me and the children standing there, he threw his weapons and placed himself in the cop car.

I called 911, ensured the safety of my children and I, and cooperated with DCFS when they came to interview and evaluate our safety.

But I need to be supervised around my children and they may terminate my parental rights?

When the DCFS worker interviewed me, I informed them of my child’s disability. He has very limited speech, and has been diagnosed level 3 on the Autism Spectrum. This means he has been diagnosed as needing the most supports(most severe).They made us vacate our home even though I had already removed weapons and my husband had been hospitalized. I attempted to explain how this would harm him, but was told I must comply or we would be in court.

The children and I stayed at my mother in laws house Friday night and Saturday night. My son fell asleep by the door after continually trying to elope the entire day.

My home has safety locks, an alarm, and cameras. My son has not attempted to elope(except school) in almost 2 years prior to this traumatic event. Autism symptoms can be regulated(to a point) with routine. My son has been with his father 24/7 since he was born. The most they’ve ever been separated is for 4 days when we finally took a honeymoon cruise. He has maybe been away from him 8 days total his entire life.

After discussing these issues on safety with the social worker who was discharging my husband from the hospital, we were told it would be the safest option for everyone if the kids and I returned home and my husband could stay at his mothers house. He would only see the children under supervision (by his mom who was the safety manager per our safety plan) and was not allowed overnight visits. The social worker was going to contact DCFS.

At this point, I attempted to call the DCFS worker prior to us returning to our home… but it was Sunday. I sent her a text message after I called reiterating I didn’t want to break our safety plan. Per our safety plan I was supposed to notify if there were any changes and she wanted me to let her know when my husband was released so we could go over everything.

My husband wanted to hug his children after the traumatic event so when he was discharged he came with his mom(to supervise) and help me settle them into bed. Our son also has sleep disturbances. He left at 9pm to go to his mother’s house. The children and I all had a sleepover in my bedroom.

The next morning, my husband came over(with his mom supervising again) to help get everyone ready for school. My son with ASD has a hard time with transitions and his entire routine was messed up so we were trying to make it easier on him. When I tried to walk him up to school he kept falling to the ground. I was able to get him inside the school gate, where he proceeded to fall on the ground, kick, and repeatedly say “no, no, no, no.” His teacher attempted to talk with him, and he eloped(ran). I called for him and was able to get him to stop running, but then he fell to the ground, started kicking and hitting, while saying “no, no, no, no” repeatedly. I started to cry. My son was having such a hard time. I took him back home and my husband calmed him down(again supervised by his mom).

Monday morning I attempted to reach out again to the DCFS employee. I then called the DCFS office and was able to get the employee’s supervisor. I called her. No answer. I texted. No answer. I waited til after lunch and called again. No answer. I called the DCFS office again and was able to get the regional coordinator number, she answered. I apologized as I could tell she just got home (her kids in background) and explained why I was reaching out and how I didn’t want to break the safety plan and I wanted to make sure everything was okayed. She told me someone would reach out shortly. Around 45 minutes later, 5:15pm ish, I received a phone call from the original DCFS worker asking me if everyone was there and if she could stop by so we could go over the safety plan. I said yes, I asked her if she could come before 8 as I had to make sure the kids went to bed for school the next day.

My mother in law was worried as my father in law had been left alone for a while at this point. We were all waiting. She finally shows up at 7:45. She said it was because she just had to remove 5 children from a home. She then proceeded to tell me I was not supposed to return to the home, but they were being understanding of my sons needs so she was going to change the plan so we could stay in the home(the children and I).

My husband asked for a copy of the safety plan. My husband asked if he could have a lawyer look at the plan before he signed it. Mind you, he had just been Baker Acted, had a PTSD episode where he almost attempted suicide by cop… He needed some processing time.

The worker was screaming at him to sign the paper or she was taking the kids away. So loud, our neighbors 3 doors down on the opposite side of the road could hear her.

She came into the house and told me they were removing my children and court would be tomorrow at 1pm. THANK GOD my mother in law did not leave to check on her husband. The DCFS worker drug tested her (70 years old) and said that the kids could stay the night if she supervised them with me.

This entire time my son with ASD is screaming and crying with his hands in his ears in the bathroom because they made his father go away.

My amazing sister flew out from NY right away.

During our hearing, the original DCFS worker was asked if my husband was residing at the home, she smirked and said yes. Immediately I turned off my microphone and told my public defender that it was a lie and I had proof(we have video throughout our home). He told me to be quiet and wait to see what they say. So I did. I’d never been in court like that before.

The ruling came that they were going to shelter my children from my husband and I. I could not be around my children unless I was supervised. My lawyer asked if that was necessary as my sister was here. She was asked to become the new safety manager for the kids. She sacrificed herself to them. I pleaded that they allow her to return to her kids(in NY) when I can get my mother down here. They agreed it would be my sister until my mom came.

After court, it was suggested that I put in a temporary order of protection to show the court I was serious about maintaining distance between my husband and the children. So I did. At this point I was not understanding. Honestly I still don’t understand. I don’t get it. I was just trying to keep everyone I love safe. That’s what a mother does.

My brother in law drove my mom from Buffalo NY to Fort Myers FL nonstop. It’s a 21 hour drive, 24 with stops.

My poor mother had to put her dog down to come help. Her last piece of the family with my father(he passed away). She had to quit her job. She had to leave her home(for who knows how long).

When my mother was finally approved(it took a full week from FieldPrint fingerprinting….) we were allowed to return to the home. Meanwhile my husband who is a disabled war veteran, was living in his truck by the water because he had no where to stay. We were at my mother in laws(his mom) until we were approved to go home, and DCFS knew that.

Again, I had to literally carry my son into his classroom from our car, run out the door, and have staff block it. He is afraid I’m going to leave too. He doesn’t understand what is happening.

After my first night at home with the kids and my mom, I tried to get some of my Master’s coursework complete. I had fallen almost 2 units behind with everything going on.

That is when I received a phone call telling me I was no longer allowed to cohabitate with my children. I could see them supervised, but I couldn’t sleep there. After one night, it was no longer okay.

They attempted to say my husband objected to me staying there with them, but I found out from my public defender that he was fighting having DCFS supervised visitation, not me staying at the house. So I spent almost 3 hours just beside myself.

Our court case was supposed to be the same day and time as my protective order hearing. No one told me it was in two different court rooms, and luckily my husbands lawyer put in for a continuance or DCFS would have said we failed to come to court.

My public defender never notified me she would not be at my protective order hearing, and never notified me the DCFS arraignment had changed.

With all of the confusion, and what seems to be a lack of representation… I am asking for support if obtaining a lawyer.

I have essentially become a single mom for now, and I have had to step back from my career for the time being.

Our family has already paid for travel expenses and a lawyer for my husband. In total we have already spent 10,000 and counting.

I promise I have not done anything except been cooperative with DCFS. I called for help and tried to protect my family. I tried to keep my kids safe and get my husband the help he needed.

It is not right that I have to fight to be able to be around my kids alone.

It is not right that now every time the phone rings I am afraid to answer.

It is not right that I couldn’t support my husband after a suicide attempt.

Most importantly it is not right that my children have had to endure a traumatic event, and that because of ONE LIE they’ve had to endure so much more trauma.

I need your help.

I need a lawyer who will be able to get these allegations dismissed.

I have all of the evidence, I just don’t know the legal system here and I won’t risk losing my kids.

Any amount helps. Anything is appreciated. If you can’t donate please send a testimonial to my character as a person, as a mom, or my protective capacity for children to my email or reach out.

Thank you for reading my story.