My Boys Need Me
Donation protected
Hi, friends, how are you? I have been dealing with some rather stressful and difficult situations lately. I have always been the kind of guy who has been able to tackle my problems without having to involve others. However, I’m learning now that perhaps there is great strength in reaching out and asking for help and support from my family and friends in times of need. This is my time of need, and I would like to share my story with you.
You probably know I am in the middle of a divorce with the mother of my three beautiful boys: Cade (9), Hudson (7), and Levi (2). Without getting into specifics, suffice it to say that it has been a contentious battle. I say “battle” because I have literally been forced into a war I DO NOT want (and have not wanted) to fight since day one. That was the day false accusations were made against me by my estranged wife. Her claim was that of domestic violence. She alleged that I struck her during an argument that began after I told her that I wanted a divorce, that I no longer wished to be in this marriage. Thus began a year-long battle that forced me in and out of the court system and deprived me of time I should have been with my children. Based on her false accusations, she was granted a restraining order ... which she used unapologetically to manipulate me out of time I could be with my kids.
For example: I was to pick up the boys from school the day before Thanksgiving and I was to have them overnight, per our usual agreed-upon routine. However, on this day, she went to school prior to the dismissal time and removed the children from school early, stating that they both had “doctor’s appointments”. (The boys later confirmed that they did not, in fact, see any doctor.) Of course, when I went to pick up the kids, they were already long gone, and pursuant to the order of protection, I could not telephone my children’s mother regarding the boys’ whereabouts. I never saw or heard from them the entire Thanksgiving Break. Or Halloween. Or the entire Christmas/winter break. And most recently, this Easter/spring break, when ONCE AGAIN, the boys inexplicably came down with a mysterious illness synchronously, requiring them to be removed early from school, not to be heard from again until the day before classes resumed. These sorts of incidents occurred nearly every week. It goes without saying that the boys were never allowed to telephone me. Additionally, I have not been able to attend or participate in any of the children’s school events. She would be sure to contact me to tell me that I “better not show up because if you do, I’m calling the cops on you.” She diligently worked to alienate me from my children’s lives and then would tell them that daddy must not love them because he never shows up and always fails to come get them or see them. I hope you get the picture.
Anyhow, my criminal case finally went to trial approximately 3 weeks ago...a year after the initial charges were made. The trial lasted for about a week and a jury of 12 people heard testimony from both sides and I was not found guilty. All charges and the restraining order were effectively dropped. It probably does not come as a surprise to you that my (soon-to-be) ex-wife did not like this outcome. She was so very sure that she would “get the maximum penalty I could get” and “send my ass back to Venezuela because I don’t deserve to be in America.”
I am tired of fighting. I left the marriage because I could not fight this woman anymore. My one and only priority has always been to protect my three young children from as much pain and fear and sadness as I could, as we navigate these rough waters. I literally have begged for a truce, for the sake of our kids. I’ve offered the white flag of armistice innumerable times, only to have it thrown into the mud of her vindictive acrimony.
But I was happy...it was finally over. I got to tell my story and the truth prevailed. I naïvely believed that once the dust settled, my estranged wife would finally take stock of what was really at stake here, with the constant fighting, manipulating, bad-mouthing, lying, intimidating behaviors she insisted on maintaining for so long: and that, of course, is the well-being of our young boys. Once again I asked (begged) her to please stop fighting me and let’s work together to raise our children. We owe them a united front, no matter our differences. I said that it’s time that we do what’s right for the boys and behave like civil people and be the parents that they deserve. I asked her to please stop forcing the children to call me (in tears) and tell me things they did not want to say. I asked her to please stop trying to deprive them of time with their dad. I told her I know she is a very good mother and that I know she’s doing these things because she is angry at me. I asked her could she please love the boys a little more than she hates me?
She responded to my plea yesterday ... by serving me with a NEW restraining order, this time one that also prevents me from seeing or contacting my children. She is claiming that she is “afraid for her life” and that I physically abuse my children as well.
I’m going to be very honest. I am a lot of things, many of which are not nice. I may rub people the wrong way. You might not particularly even like me. And that’s okay. I get it. But I ask you, if you have spent any amount time with me or observed me with my boys, is there any one of you that can in good conscience claim that I would EVER abuse my children? Hit them? Humiliate them and threaten them? Speak to them in foul language? Leave them unattended for long periods of time while I left to do something else? I don’t think anyone can argue that I love those boys more than life itself. Not only do I love them, I ADORE them. I adore them enough to even defend their mothers’ hateful comments and actions.
I have devoted my life to the art of the Gracie Jiu Jitsu system. Part of their philosophy includes teaching children to become “bully-proof”. One of the favorite parts of what I do for a living ~
what makes me most proud ~ is training kids and watching them grow into confident and capable young adults. To even suggest that I would ever harm a child is ludicrous. To suggest I would harm my OWN children is, quite frankly, insane. I have protected my boys from the day they were each born.
This is what she is requesting:
Full custody of the boys, with the possibility of me having SUPERVISED VISITATION for one day every other weekend. She also wants me to go to a 52-week long parenting class. And that’s only if I don’t go to jail for Domestic Violence and/or Child Abuse.
I used to brush the boys’ teeth, comb their hair, and put them to bed every single night. I was the one that helped them with their homework everyday. It tears me apart to not be able to spend much time with them now as it is, and now she wants to take that away from us too. I can only imagine she is giggling with glee right now. But it’s not about ME. Nor is it about HER. It’s about Cade. It’s about Hudson. And it’s about little Levi, who cries in panic every time he is returned to his mother because he intrinsically knows that it’s going to be a long, long time before he gets to be with daddy again.
I’m not a deadbeat dad. I’m a fully invested father who loves his kiddos and they need me just as much as I need them. And we deserve to be in each other’s lives. IT IS NOT RIGHT TO RIP ME OUT OF THEIR LIVES JUST TO PUNISH ME.
In researching my rights, I have come across this shocking new information I would like to share with you. There is a phenomenon called “Divorce-Related Malicious Mother Syndrome”. Let me share the diagnostic criteria:
I. A mother who unjustifiably punishes her divorcing or divorced husband by:
a. Attempting to alienate their mutual children from the father
b. Involving others in malicious actions against the father
c. Engaging in excessive litigation
2. The mother specifically attempts to deny her child(ren)
a. Regular uninterrupted visitations with the father
b. Uninhibited telephone access to the father
c. Paternal participation in the child(ren)’s school life and extracurricular activities
3. The pattern is pervasive and includes malicious acts towards the husband including:
a. Lying to the children
b. Lying to others
c. Violations of law
4. The disorder is not specifically due to another mental disorder, although a separate mental disorder may co-exist.
This diagnostic condition describes my soon to be ex-spouse so 100% accurately, it has rendered me speechless.
“Speechless”, I say, because it frightens me. “Frightens me”, I say, because any person (any mother) who could engage in such awful and ugly acts at the expense of her own CHILDREN’s emotional well-being... well, it is my opinion that such a woman is capable of incredible evil.
You know I am not scared of too many people. But this woman scares the hell out of me. She’s made it clear that she will stop at nothing to destroy me. And she knows that the one thing that would destroy me the most is to lose my boys.
I’ve lost so many things this past year because of this. I’ve had to walk way from my business, which was my pride and joy. I’ve lost many friends as a result of a constant smear campaign waged against me. I was living out of my trailer for a while and am now struggling to pay my very basic expenses. I have an enormous debt to my attorneys for the case that I just got cleared from. But she has, once again, made some very serious allegations against me: That I am now attempting to murder her and that I beat my kids. Clearly this cannot be taken lightly. That being said, I am prepared to defend myself with just as much gusto.
Unfortunately, this will require a good attorney to help protect my rights, as well as those of my boys. I have found a GREAT attorney. I am asking you today to help me retain him and to pay off my previous legal fees. I need to raise $8000 within a week, as my hearing is at the beginning of May, and I have created this GoFundMe account to help me with my mounting legal fees. I would so greatly appreciate if you could support me and make a donation and then share this with your network. I know that money can be tight, but please consider donating $5 - $10 to get me closer to my goal. No donation is too small! Please know that even $5 helps me get closer to my goal. If you absolutely can not donate, please help me by sharing this story with your network. Let me know if you have any questions and I’ll be happy to answer them.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for your support. I love you all,
Harold
You probably know I am in the middle of a divorce with the mother of my three beautiful boys: Cade (9), Hudson (7), and Levi (2). Without getting into specifics, suffice it to say that it has been a contentious battle. I say “battle” because I have literally been forced into a war I DO NOT want (and have not wanted) to fight since day one. That was the day false accusations were made against me by my estranged wife. Her claim was that of domestic violence. She alleged that I struck her during an argument that began after I told her that I wanted a divorce, that I no longer wished to be in this marriage. Thus began a year-long battle that forced me in and out of the court system and deprived me of time I should have been with my children. Based on her false accusations, she was granted a restraining order ... which she used unapologetically to manipulate me out of time I could be with my kids.
For example: I was to pick up the boys from school the day before Thanksgiving and I was to have them overnight, per our usual agreed-upon routine. However, on this day, she went to school prior to the dismissal time and removed the children from school early, stating that they both had “doctor’s appointments”. (The boys later confirmed that they did not, in fact, see any doctor.) Of course, when I went to pick up the kids, they were already long gone, and pursuant to the order of protection, I could not telephone my children’s mother regarding the boys’ whereabouts. I never saw or heard from them the entire Thanksgiving Break. Or Halloween. Or the entire Christmas/winter break. And most recently, this Easter/spring break, when ONCE AGAIN, the boys inexplicably came down with a mysterious illness synchronously, requiring them to be removed early from school, not to be heard from again until the day before classes resumed. These sorts of incidents occurred nearly every week. It goes without saying that the boys were never allowed to telephone me. Additionally, I have not been able to attend or participate in any of the children’s school events. She would be sure to contact me to tell me that I “better not show up because if you do, I’m calling the cops on you.” She diligently worked to alienate me from my children’s lives and then would tell them that daddy must not love them because he never shows up and always fails to come get them or see them. I hope you get the picture.
Anyhow, my criminal case finally went to trial approximately 3 weeks ago...a year after the initial charges were made. The trial lasted for about a week and a jury of 12 people heard testimony from both sides and I was not found guilty. All charges and the restraining order were effectively dropped. It probably does not come as a surprise to you that my (soon-to-be) ex-wife did not like this outcome. She was so very sure that she would “get the maximum penalty I could get” and “send my ass back to Venezuela because I don’t deserve to be in America.”
I am tired of fighting. I left the marriage because I could not fight this woman anymore. My one and only priority has always been to protect my three young children from as much pain and fear and sadness as I could, as we navigate these rough waters. I literally have begged for a truce, for the sake of our kids. I’ve offered the white flag of armistice innumerable times, only to have it thrown into the mud of her vindictive acrimony.
But I was happy...it was finally over. I got to tell my story and the truth prevailed. I naïvely believed that once the dust settled, my estranged wife would finally take stock of what was really at stake here, with the constant fighting, manipulating, bad-mouthing, lying, intimidating behaviors she insisted on maintaining for so long: and that, of course, is the well-being of our young boys. Once again I asked (begged) her to please stop fighting me and let’s work together to raise our children. We owe them a united front, no matter our differences. I said that it’s time that we do what’s right for the boys and behave like civil people and be the parents that they deserve. I asked her to please stop forcing the children to call me (in tears) and tell me things they did not want to say. I asked her to please stop trying to deprive them of time with their dad. I told her I know she is a very good mother and that I know she’s doing these things because she is angry at me. I asked her could she please love the boys a little more than she hates me?
She responded to my plea yesterday ... by serving me with a NEW restraining order, this time one that also prevents me from seeing or contacting my children. She is claiming that she is “afraid for her life” and that I physically abuse my children as well.
I’m going to be very honest. I am a lot of things, many of which are not nice. I may rub people the wrong way. You might not particularly even like me. And that’s okay. I get it. But I ask you, if you have spent any amount time with me or observed me with my boys, is there any one of you that can in good conscience claim that I would EVER abuse my children? Hit them? Humiliate them and threaten them? Speak to them in foul language? Leave them unattended for long periods of time while I left to do something else? I don’t think anyone can argue that I love those boys more than life itself. Not only do I love them, I ADORE them. I adore them enough to even defend their mothers’ hateful comments and actions.
I have devoted my life to the art of the Gracie Jiu Jitsu system. Part of their philosophy includes teaching children to become “bully-proof”. One of the favorite parts of what I do for a living ~
what makes me most proud ~ is training kids and watching them grow into confident and capable young adults. To even suggest that I would ever harm a child is ludicrous. To suggest I would harm my OWN children is, quite frankly, insane. I have protected my boys from the day they were each born.
This is what she is requesting:
Full custody of the boys, with the possibility of me having SUPERVISED VISITATION for one day every other weekend. She also wants me to go to a 52-week long parenting class. And that’s only if I don’t go to jail for Domestic Violence and/or Child Abuse.
I used to brush the boys’ teeth, comb their hair, and put them to bed every single night. I was the one that helped them with their homework everyday. It tears me apart to not be able to spend much time with them now as it is, and now she wants to take that away from us too. I can only imagine she is giggling with glee right now. But it’s not about ME. Nor is it about HER. It’s about Cade. It’s about Hudson. And it’s about little Levi, who cries in panic every time he is returned to his mother because he intrinsically knows that it’s going to be a long, long time before he gets to be with daddy again.
I’m not a deadbeat dad. I’m a fully invested father who loves his kiddos and they need me just as much as I need them. And we deserve to be in each other’s lives. IT IS NOT RIGHT TO RIP ME OUT OF THEIR LIVES JUST TO PUNISH ME.
In researching my rights, I have come across this shocking new information I would like to share with you. There is a phenomenon called “Divorce-Related Malicious Mother Syndrome”. Let me share the diagnostic criteria:
I. A mother who unjustifiably punishes her divorcing or divorced husband by:
a. Attempting to alienate their mutual children from the father
b. Involving others in malicious actions against the father
c. Engaging in excessive litigation
2. The mother specifically attempts to deny her child(ren)
a. Regular uninterrupted visitations with the father
b. Uninhibited telephone access to the father
c. Paternal participation in the child(ren)’s school life and extracurricular activities
3. The pattern is pervasive and includes malicious acts towards the husband including:
a. Lying to the children
b. Lying to others
c. Violations of law
4. The disorder is not specifically due to another mental disorder, although a separate mental disorder may co-exist.
This diagnostic condition describes my soon to be ex-spouse so 100% accurately, it has rendered me speechless.
“Speechless”, I say, because it frightens me. “Frightens me”, I say, because any person (any mother) who could engage in such awful and ugly acts at the expense of her own CHILDREN’s emotional well-being... well, it is my opinion that such a woman is capable of incredible evil.
You know I am not scared of too many people. But this woman scares the hell out of me. She’s made it clear that she will stop at nothing to destroy me. And she knows that the one thing that would destroy me the most is to lose my boys.
I’ve lost so many things this past year because of this. I’ve had to walk way from my business, which was my pride and joy. I’ve lost many friends as a result of a constant smear campaign waged against me. I was living out of my trailer for a while and am now struggling to pay my very basic expenses. I have an enormous debt to my attorneys for the case that I just got cleared from. But she has, once again, made some very serious allegations against me: That I am now attempting to murder her and that I beat my kids. Clearly this cannot be taken lightly. That being said, I am prepared to defend myself with just as much gusto.
Unfortunately, this will require a good attorney to help protect my rights, as well as those of my boys. I have found a GREAT attorney. I am asking you today to help me retain him and to pay off my previous legal fees. I need to raise $8000 within a week, as my hearing is at the beginning of May, and I have created this GoFundMe account to help me with my mounting legal fees. I would so greatly appreciate if you could support me and make a donation and then share this with your network. I know that money can be tight, but please consider donating $5 - $10 to get me closer to my goal. No donation is too small! Please know that even $5 helps me get closer to my goal. If you absolutely can not donate, please help me by sharing this story with your network. Let me know if you have any questions and I’ll be happy to answer them.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for your support. I love you all,
Harold
Organizer
Harold Lucambio
Organizer
Buena Park, CA