Help me adopt my son
Donation protected
This is my beautiful boy, my bonus child, Robert Oliver, I love him so much and I am so proud of him all the time. I am fundraising to obtain the legal fees necessary to adopt him. Our story follows, I hope you can help me raise the funds and spread the word.
We first met Robert Oliver ten years ago when my family relocated to South Carolina. He was eight years old at the time, a neighbor's child, the son of a young single mom that lived with her parents. Over the years I watched him grow up along with my own three loves. He bounced in and out of my house at will and was close friends with my children. When you have kids, you always have "extras", those friends of your kids that become "like your own" because they spend so much time with your family. Robert Oliver was one of ours.
These are my four loves back in the day. Weren't they adorable? That's Robert Oliver on the left.
At the end of his elementary school years, Robert's mom married, and they moved to a neighboring town. We were sad to see them go, but elated each time he returned to visit his grandparents. He attended middle school in his new town, but spent most weekends, school holidays and summers back home with his grandparents.
Here's another gem from back in the day... my four enjoying a visit from my cousin - summer fun in Robert's grandparents' pool. Those are my three on the left and my beautiful bonus child on the right. They were so cute!
Robert's new life seemed wonderful, new school, new friends, new home... his newly blended family looked great from the outside. The stepdad had a son from his previous marriage who was around Robert's age, and after they all became a family, his mom had two more children. They built a new home, new family, and a new life. It seemed perfect to the outside world. But it wasn't. Robert wasn't treated fairly and he wasn't enjoying the happy childhood we all wish for our kids.
You see, my bonus child is gay. While I wish we lived in a world where me telling you this news had the same impact as me telling you that my son has brown eyes, unfortunately we do not. When Robert came out, things did not go well. Sadly this is not an uncommon story for LGBTQ kids here in the bible belt. He was not treated well. And as living with his stepfather became increasingly intolerable, Robert spent more and more time back at his grandparents home. By the end of Robert's freshman year of High School, after living with his mother and step-dad for four years, he moved back home with his grandparents full time. His mother did not tell her parents why Robert was unable to get along with his step-father, just that he was no longer welcome to live with them. He was 15 years old.
That was the year I went from being "Momma Fran" to just "Mom". It just happened one day. I heard my bonus son come in the front door and yell "Mom, you home?". I didn't ask why. I didn't make a big deal of it. I just yelled back, "in here, son". After that I was Mom all the time. That year was very hard for my beautiful boy. He was no longer welcome in his mother's home, she called and texted very infrequently, paid no child support and never visited. He became more and more depressed and spent too much time alone in his room. I was heartbroken watching this and so I took him everywhere we went. I already loved him as my own. He asked many times if he could come live with me and truthfully that is all I wanted too.
Then a little over a year after he left his mother's home, my brave boy decided to come out to his grandparents. Again, it did not go well. They were convinced he was a sinner who would burn in hell. I was sick for him, sick over the situation. I could no longer mind my own business like a good neighbor, Robert Oliver was my business and I began to have long daily discussions with his family about his well being. Religion is all too often used to justify child abuse and it was killing me watching this child suffer. A smart, funny, athletic kid with a bright future. He should have been allowed to thrive, but he was not. And then the worst happened, the scariest and worst day of my life. My beautiful boy overdosed. Thankfully a dear friend realized what was happening and called 911 and saved his life. He ended up on an eight day psych hold at a local hospital. After his release he was told by his family that he could no longer live with them unless he promised to stop being gay. They asked the impossible and so my sweet boy, at the age of 16, was forced to leave his childhood home once again, this time for good.
In the past two years since Robert Oliver moved in with us, I have gotten to watch him bloom. He is a wonderful human being and I am so privileged to have him in my life. He has been through so much, but he is resilient and strong and with an overabundance of love and support he is now doing well. Robert made the decision to graduate high school after junior year. He had enough credits and thought it better to knock out freshman year at the local community college. He made up his mind, worked hard, and he did it! He is now 18 and has just completed freshman year. I am so proud of this fabulous boy. I know he can and will accomplish anything he sets his mind to in the future.
We don't have much money but we have lots of love.
Although I sometimes still see the heartbreak in his eyes, I do my best to talk with him about love and forgiveness, and about loving himself. We have many long discussions about it. Robert knows the number one rule of being my kid... take care of yourself for me... because I love you, so take care of my child! And I love him so much, my heart is so full. These are my four loves now. Can't believe how much they've grown!
This fall Robert Oliver will enter his sophomore year of college and at the end of the year he will turn 19. We will have to face the big problem of lack of health insurance. Once he hits 19 he will no longer be eligible for medicaid. With the impending doom of the ACA in lieu of Trumpcare I am not hopeful a solution will be available for young adults who are attending full time college. I CAN rectify this situation by legally adopting my adult son and adding him to my own insurance, but after scouting several attorneys, I find the bill could be anywhere between 1,000 and 6,000 dollars depending on the attorney. As I said earlier, we have plenty of love, but not much money.
Please help if you can. I can't wait to make this child mine for good. He is so loved. Every child deserves a happy family. Every child deserves love. LGBTQ kids are just kids! They can't help who they fall in love with any more than they can help what shoe size they wear. .. and they shouldn't have to!!! ALL KIDS deserve to be loved and supported for who they are! Why must people be so judgmental? Why must there be conditions placed on love? Kids deserve UNCONDITIONAL LOVE no matter what.
We first met Robert Oliver ten years ago when my family relocated to South Carolina. He was eight years old at the time, a neighbor's child, the son of a young single mom that lived with her parents. Over the years I watched him grow up along with my own three loves. He bounced in and out of my house at will and was close friends with my children. When you have kids, you always have "extras", those friends of your kids that become "like your own" because they spend so much time with your family. Robert Oliver was one of ours. These are my four loves back in the day. Weren't they adorable? That's Robert Oliver on the left.
At the end of his elementary school years, Robert's mom married, and they moved to a neighboring town. We were sad to see them go, but elated each time he returned to visit his grandparents. He attended middle school in his new town, but spent most weekends, school holidays and summers back home with his grandparents. Here's another gem from back in the day... my four enjoying a visit from my cousin - summer fun in Robert's grandparents' pool. Those are my three on the left and my beautiful bonus child on the right. They were so cute!
Robert's new life seemed wonderful, new school, new friends, new home... his newly blended family looked great from the outside. The stepdad had a son from his previous marriage who was around Robert's age, and after they all became a family, his mom had two more children. They built a new home, new family, and a new life. It seemed perfect to the outside world. But it wasn't. Robert wasn't treated fairly and he wasn't enjoying the happy childhood we all wish for our kids.
You see, my bonus child is gay. While I wish we lived in a world where me telling you this news had the same impact as me telling you that my son has brown eyes, unfortunately we do not. When Robert came out, things did not go well. Sadly this is not an uncommon story for LGBTQ kids here in the bible belt. He was not treated well. And as living with his stepfather became increasingly intolerable, Robert spent more and more time back at his grandparents home. By the end of Robert's freshman year of High School, after living with his mother and step-dad for four years, he moved back home with his grandparents full time. His mother did not tell her parents why Robert was unable to get along with his step-father, just that he was no longer welcome to live with them. He was 15 years old.
That was the year I went from being "Momma Fran" to just "Mom". It just happened one day. I heard my bonus son come in the front door and yell "Mom, you home?". I didn't ask why. I didn't make a big deal of it. I just yelled back, "in here, son". After that I was Mom all the time. That year was very hard for my beautiful boy. He was no longer welcome in his mother's home, she called and texted very infrequently, paid no child support and never visited. He became more and more depressed and spent too much time alone in his room. I was heartbroken watching this and so I took him everywhere we went. I already loved him as my own. He asked many times if he could come live with me and truthfully that is all I wanted too.
Then a little over a year after he left his mother's home, my brave boy decided to come out to his grandparents. Again, it did not go well. They were convinced he was a sinner who would burn in hell. I was sick for him, sick over the situation. I could no longer mind my own business like a good neighbor, Robert Oliver was my business and I began to have long daily discussions with his family about his well being. Religion is all too often used to justify child abuse and it was killing me watching this child suffer. A smart, funny, athletic kid with a bright future. He should have been allowed to thrive, but he was not. And then the worst happened, the scariest and worst day of my life. My beautiful boy overdosed. Thankfully a dear friend realized what was happening and called 911 and saved his life. He ended up on an eight day psych hold at a local hospital. After his release he was told by his family that he could no longer live with them unless he promised to stop being gay. They asked the impossible and so my sweet boy, at the age of 16, was forced to leave his childhood home once again, this time for good. In the past two years since Robert Oliver moved in with us, I have gotten to watch him bloom. He is a wonderful human being and I am so privileged to have him in my life. He has been through so much, but he is resilient and strong and with an overabundance of love and support he is now doing well. Robert made the decision to graduate high school after junior year. He had enough credits and thought it better to knock out freshman year at the local community college. He made up his mind, worked hard, and he did it! He is now 18 and has just completed freshman year. I am so proud of this fabulous boy. I know he can and will accomplish anything he sets his mind to in the future.
We don't have much money but we have lots of love.
Although I sometimes still see the heartbreak in his eyes, I do my best to talk with him about love and forgiveness, and about loving himself. We have many long discussions about it. Robert knows the number one rule of being my kid... take care of yourself for me... because I love you, so take care of my child! And I love him so much, my heart is so full. These are my four loves now. Can't believe how much they've grown!
This fall Robert Oliver will enter his sophomore year of college and at the end of the year he will turn 19. We will have to face the big problem of lack of health insurance. Once he hits 19 he will no longer be eligible for medicaid. With the impending doom of the ACA in lieu of Trumpcare I am not hopeful a solution will be available for young adults who are attending full time college. I CAN rectify this situation by legally adopting my adult son and adding him to my own insurance, but after scouting several attorneys, I find the bill could be anywhere between 1,000 and 6,000 dollars depending on the attorney. As I said earlier, we have plenty of love, but not much money.
Please help if you can. I can't wait to make this child mine for good. He is so loved. Every child deserves a happy family. Every child deserves love. LGBTQ kids are just kids! They can't help who they fall in love with any more than they can help what shoe size they wear. .. and they shouldn't have to!!! ALL KIDS deserve to be loved and supported for who they are! Why must people be so judgmental? Why must there be conditions placed on love? Kids deserve UNCONDITIONAL LOVE no matter what.
Organizer
Frances Schiralli O'Toole
Organizer
Irmo, SC