Adoption of my Step-Kids
Donation protected
Hi. This is a fundraiser to help us adopt my wife's two children. We have been together since 2011 and were married 7 years ago.
The children have not had any interaction with their biological "father" since 2011, and there are a number of reasons for that, including their attempted kidnapping by him and a friend (2010), the witnessed abuse of their mother, and his "signing off" on them under the auspices that it wasn't worth the "80 bucks" in child support.
For those of you who know us, you know that my love for these children is deep; that they are as much a part of my family as I was to my adopting family when I was two days old.
Due to recent activities with the proceedings, we are expecting this to cost a lot more than originally hoped (see update below).
Our original ask had this: “We can only guess at what the cost might be, but our research on-line suggests that it would be about $3000 per child, if things go smoothly.”
Things are not going smoothly.
Thanks, once again, for your support as so many of you have helped us out in numerous ways, so many times.
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Update:
-Since our original posting, we have acquired an attorney. He is being very generous in his support and services for our case. We have been working with him for a few months now.
-Our life at home is currently in a state of “transitional rebuilding,” due in part to pandemic repercussions. We are caught in a period of time wherein building our business and “gig-life” is what it is.
The proceedings:
A few months ago, we met with our attorney and started the application for adoption. A requirement of this included making a viable effort to reach the biological father of this intent. This took some time and research. $$
A request for signing surrender forms was initiated. $$
After some back-and-forth with our attorney, the bio-father said that he would sign the papers if he had a chance to speak with the kids (ages 14 and 12). A tele-conference was scheduled and the children and ourselves met at the attorney’s office.
It’s difficult to explain all that transpired in this call. The bio’s interest seemed to be solely focused on the 14 year old daughter, while the 12 year old was left in the awkward position of not really being a participant or recognized. My wife was attributed blame, by the bio, for any number of things. There’s a lot more to tell, but it is mostly rhetoric, claims of love, blaming my wife for why he hadn’t reached out to the kids in over 11 years and so on.
The last part of the call was his telling our daughter that he would do anything for her. She said “If you love us, then sign the papers.” There was only an “ok” in response. Our attorney asked “Ok, you’ll sign the papers?” To which, he received an “ok.” $$$$
Papers were drafted and sent, certified, etc. Never received a response. This puts the bio in breach of verbal contract as far as we’re concerned. $$
After a waiting period, papers of intent to proceed with the adoption were drafted. These needed to be served to him by his local sheriff. Not an easy task as sherrif’s departments are busy. He was finally served at the beginning of December. $$$
Various follow-ups with the court, etc., were in motion during this time. $$
No response was received, until…
On 6 January, 2022, our attorney received affidavits directly from the bio wherein he is contesting the adoption and NOW, seeking visitation and custodial modifications to the divorce paperwork. Our worst nightmare. His interest magically seems to have surfaced solely because of the adoption interest. He has not attempted any communication with the courts or kids in almost 12 years. There is a lot of rhetoric in the affidavits. $$$$$$$$$$
(A note that he has not paid any support over the past 12 years)
We will be meeting with the attorney soon, to determine next steps.
I’m sure you can imagine that there are any number of other needs that have arisen.
---------------------------------------------------------------
For those who don’t know me, I was a non-profit administrator for over 30 years, most of which was youth related, including having run youth centers, coaching numerous high school and collegiate rowing teams and working in schools. I have worked to be the father these two never had. My heart is happy, though, as I have the blessing of their naturally calling me “Dad.”
As far as any leftover funds after fees and adoption expenses, we are hoping to have some sort of hard-earned and well deserved, grand celebration for these kids - perhaps a Disney trip or such.
Many thanks for your attention and patience. Feel free to share this…
God Bless you
The children have not had any interaction with their biological "father" since 2011, and there are a number of reasons for that, including their attempted kidnapping by him and a friend (2010), the witnessed abuse of their mother, and his "signing off" on them under the auspices that it wasn't worth the "80 bucks" in child support.
For those of you who know us, you know that my love for these children is deep; that they are as much a part of my family as I was to my adopting family when I was two days old.
Due to recent activities with the proceedings, we are expecting this to cost a lot more than originally hoped (see update below).
Our original ask had this: “We can only guess at what the cost might be, but our research on-line suggests that it would be about $3000 per child, if things go smoothly.”
Things are not going smoothly.
Thanks, once again, for your support as so many of you have helped us out in numerous ways, so many times.
-------------------------------------------
Update:
-Since our original posting, we have acquired an attorney. He is being very generous in his support and services for our case. We have been working with him for a few months now.
-Our life at home is currently in a state of “transitional rebuilding,” due in part to pandemic repercussions. We are caught in a period of time wherein building our business and “gig-life” is what it is.
The proceedings:
A few months ago, we met with our attorney and started the application for adoption. A requirement of this included making a viable effort to reach the biological father of this intent. This took some time and research. $$
A request for signing surrender forms was initiated. $$
After some back-and-forth with our attorney, the bio-father said that he would sign the papers if he had a chance to speak with the kids (ages 14 and 12). A tele-conference was scheduled and the children and ourselves met at the attorney’s office.
It’s difficult to explain all that transpired in this call. The bio’s interest seemed to be solely focused on the 14 year old daughter, while the 12 year old was left in the awkward position of not really being a participant or recognized. My wife was attributed blame, by the bio, for any number of things. There’s a lot more to tell, but it is mostly rhetoric, claims of love, blaming my wife for why he hadn’t reached out to the kids in over 11 years and so on.
The last part of the call was his telling our daughter that he would do anything for her. She said “If you love us, then sign the papers.” There was only an “ok” in response. Our attorney asked “Ok, you’ll sign the papers?” To which, he received an “ok.” $$$$
Papers were drafted and sent, certified, etc. Never received a response. This puts the bio in breach of verbal contract as far as we’re concerned. $$
After a waiting period, papers of intent to proceed with the adoption were drafted. These needed to be served to him by his local sheriff. Not an easy task as sherrif’s departments are busy. He was finally served at the beginning of December. $$$
Various follow-ups with the court, etc., were in motion during this time. $$
No response was received, until…
On 6 January, 2022, our attorney received affidavits directly from the bio wherein he is contesting the adoption and NOW, seeking visitation and custodial modifications to the divorce paperwork. Our worst nightmare. His interest magically seems to have surfaced solely because of the adoption interest. He has not attempted any communication with the courts or kids in almost 12 years. There is a lot of rhetoric in the affidavits. $$$$$$$$$$
(A note that he has not paid any support over the past 12 years)
We will be meeting with the attorney soon, to determine next steps.
I’m sure you can imagine that there are any number of other needs that have arisen.
---------------------------------------------------------------
For those who don’t know me, I was a non-profit administrator for over 30 years, most of which was youth related, including having run youth centers, coaching numerous high school and collegiate rowing teams and working in schools. I have worked to be the father these two never had. My heart is happy, though, as I have the blessing of their naturally calling me “Dad.”
As far as any leftover funds after fees and adoption expenses, we are hoping to have some sort of hard-earned and well deserved, grand celebration for these kids - perhaps a Disney trip or such.
Many thanks for your attention and patience. Feel free to share this…
God Bless you
Organizer
Jonathan Kerr
Organizer
Boxborough, MA