I have had GoFundMes before, which have done little but house myself at the lowest possible motel rates, without having any amount of funds that could lead to housing at any one time.

Perhaps I should have stayed in a shelter until I had every dollar needed for normalcy, sure. This is not about that.

For four years, I have been the worst kind of deplatformed one could be. I've spoken loudly, distinctly and intensely about any number of horrific crimes - involving physical abuse, sexual abuse, child abuse, child sexual abuse and unspeakably wrong death. There are only so many ways that I can say this, and I am not sure how much I can even mention such things on this platform.

I have not had enough funding to be housed at any point in time, and have never had the funds required to get into a lease-bound apartment. I have protested so much that absolutely no one else would, and am not writing this with intensity because I am directing this request for assistance at those who have followed my online writing for a long time.

Though I should have done this when it was front-page news that a pair of brothers in film had sexually exploited unpaid children and a very small amount of outside attention was paid to my writing for the first time, I am not seeking help from those who are new to myself, or strangers to the idea of myself.

I am posting this because those I am close to will do NOTHING. I have written extremely principled and serious letters so many times, I can no longer think without it sounding crazy - from my exhaustion at writing about the topic, the worsening apathy and extremely bleak revelations about what I was correct all along.

This is being asked of those I've known well, or those who read this without knowing me well, but have read it often (and with emotional-investment, even if secret and wrongly, exploitatively voyeuristic) - I have asked for normalcy in life and context so many times.

The utilization of myself is something so many know of. This includes being made into a "secret" figure of attention, commentary and exploitation.

I have at least five lifelong, worsening brain injuries.

I was sexually and physically abused starting at a very young age. My relatives are terrifying.

The people I have protested are some of the most evil people one has ever heard of, in history, including those who did worldwide-damage-control for the worst criminals of all time, beyond a level I can mention here.

Someone needs to do something.

Other fundraisers have kept me inside for weeks at a time, and never done anything to allow structural change.

This is a serious letter being directed at those who feel anonymity would be a factor in their being able to help.

I am suffering terrible AND HAVE PROTESTED HORRIFIC CRIMES BEFORE OTHERS WOULD.

THIS IS GREATER THAN ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE WAY I EXPRESS MYSELF.

NO ONE WILL DO OR SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT IS WRONG. I AM SORRY FOR ASKING FOR MONEY. I UNDERSTAND THE WORLD IS NOT A MATTER OF FREE MONEY. I WORKED UNTIL MY WORK HISTORY WAS DESTROYED AND MY BRAIN WAS SEVERELY DAMAGED, AND I WAS FORCED INTO HOMELESSNESS WITHOUT ENOUGH CLOTHES OR HYGIENIC CONTEXT TO MAINTAIN A JOB.

THE STRUCTURAL PROBLEMS I AM HURT BY ARE SO SEVERE AND TERRIFYING.

I AM SORRY THAT POOR PEOPLE ARE TOOK FOR EVERY PENNY THEY HAVE, IF THEY ARE IN AN EMERGENCY CIRCUMSTANCE. THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT.

FOR GOD SAKES, SOMEONE NEEDS TO HELP ME. I AM NOT GOING TO BE MADE INTO A HUMILIATION RITUAL. I AM NOT GOING TO BE DENIED IMPORTANCE OF INITIAL PROTESTS NO ONE ELSE WOULD MAKE.

I DO NOT "WANT TO BE GIVEN MONEY". I AM ALSO ASKING FOR WHAT WOULD RESOLVE THIS WITH SOCIAL INCLUSION AND NOT A DOLLAR SPENT - NO ONE WILL OFFER THAT, NOT IN PRIVATE LIFE OR ARTS CONTEXTS THAT WOULD BE LEGITIMIZING, AND FREE ME FROM THE MERCY OF TERRIFYING STRANGERS.

ASKING FOR MONEY IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO BE DOING, BUT I NEED TO REST, AND I CANNOT KEEP STAYING IN CRACK-FILLED WARMING ROOMS, THE FREEZING COLD STREET, OR DEALING WITH BRAIN INJURY AND TIERED SOCIAL ABUSE TO WRONGNESS.

I AM SORRY THAT TEMPORARY PRIVATE LODGING OF EVEN THE CHEAPEST SORT IS THREE TIMES AS EXPENSIVE AS RENT AT AN APARTMENT IN NEW YORK OR SAN FRANCISCO. I AM NOT TRYING TO BILK ANYONE FOR MONEY. I HAVE NO FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE COMPLETELY TURNING THEIR BACK ON HELPING ME, BECAUSE I AM RUDE, OR BECAUSE OF PRIOR DRAMA THAT IS IN NO WAY COMPARABLE TO MY YEARS OF ANTI-RAPE, ANTI-CHILD-ABUSE, ANTI-MURDER PROTEST.

SOMEONE HAS TO DO SOMETHING. IF IT HAS TO BE ANONYMOUS, I AM ASKING FOR HELP. I HAVE ASKED FOR HELP FOR YEARS AND IT WAS ALWAYS MADE INTO TAUNTING LECTURING ABOUT PROPRIETY AND MONEY.

THIS GOES FAR BEYOND THE PROPRIETY OF RESPECT OF MONEY AND INTO GIGANTIC CULTURAL INSTITUTIONS THAT WANT TO SEE ME SILENCED. I AM IN EXTREME PAIN AND CANNOT BE TREATED BADLY. I NEED TO SLEEP INDOORS AND BUILD A LIFE FROM HERE. IT WILL BE EXPENSIVE AND HAPPENS AT THE SAME TIMEFRAME AS ALL OTHER SEARCHES FOR EMPLOYMENT AND HOUSING.

I HAVE PROTESTED CRIMES OF THE WORST SORT AT SACRIFICE TO MY REPUTAITON, QUALITY OF LIFE, PERSONAL SAFETY AND BRAIN FUNCTION. I AM SORRY I AM NOT THE IDEAL PROTESTER. THERE IS NO WAY I COULD BE. I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE ACCOUNTABILITY MY LIFE'S MISSION AND AM ONLY FORCED INTO MENTIONING THINGS THAT ENDANGER ME TO HORRIFIC PEOPLE BECAUSE NO ONE WILL LISTEN FOR ANY REASON.

I WAS CORRECT ABOUT SO MANY INFURIATING, DISGUSTING TRAGEDIES THAT ARE ALL NOW KNOWN TO BE TRUE, THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO MENTION THIS LIKABLY.

PLEASE MAKE A SERIOUS INVESTMENT IN MY WELL-BEING. I AM SORRY TO ASK FOR IT. THIS IS NOT ABOUT FUN, PLEASURE, COMFORT OR ENTITLEMENT.

THE THINGS I PROTESTED WITHOUT OTHERS ARE NOW NATIONAL NEWS. I CANNOT KEEP SAYING THIS. PLEASE, SOMEBODY, DO SOMETHING.

Directly and seriously,

Abigail

(formerly known as Abe)